Public Service Announcement

[Maggyie]

1. Don't ask a woman "any kids?" "are you trying?" or "when are you due?"  it's actually none of your business!!!! If you don't see a child actually hanging out with the woman, maybe it's a good idea to not bring up kids at all unless they are the whole point of the conversation (fine at the preschool but not at the grocery store). Girls do have other stuff to talk about besides kids. Don't ask "when are you due" unless you can see the child exiting the woman's vagina at that very moment.

 

2. Don't hide your pregnancies from people who are having trouble getting pregnant. I don't understand why people do this - well I do, a little, but come on. Were you planning to pretend the whole 9 months? no you shouldn't make it baby talk 24/7 but just because someone is struggling doesn't mean they can't share in your excitement and joy. When you do this it just makes them feel more isolated and alone and like a leper.

 

3.Don't offer cures to people who are dealing with infertility. Acupuncture, relaxation, trying too hard, not trying hard enough. No, most people don't get pregnant after they begin the process of adopting. Here's a fun one in Catholic circles, NO NFP DOES NOT cure infertility. It tells you when and if you are ovulating, but if you don't ovulate, it doesn't make you. If you have implantation problems because of endometriosis, NFP doesn't cure that. If you have male factor infertility, which is the case 40% of the time, it doesn't cure that either. The list goes on and on. It's helpful in timing sex and in diagnosing if there's an ovulation problem. That's it.

 

4. No, infertile couples can't "just adopt." Most children in foster care are not available for adoption. About 20% are. The rest are supposed to be reunited with their biological families. Adoptive parents are second best in this scenario. The other options are very expensive ($20-40,000+). All options involve invasive home studies where you get to answer questions about your finances and the nature of your sex life. People who flippantly say "why don't you just adopt" are usually those who have never tried to.

 

5. Don't ever say "I guess it was God's will" about someone else's miscarriage. For obvious reasons, even thinking this thought let alone uttering to the grieving parents makes you a potentially bad person.

[Anastasia13]

5. Don't ever say "I guess it was God's will" about someone else's miscarriage. For obvious reasons, even thinking this thought let alone uttering to the grieving parents makes you a potentially bad person.

 

Even if it is God's will, sometimes the best thing you can do when something terrible happens is acknowledge how much is sucks and give them a hug or something, imo.

[arfink]

:console:

 

I don't know what kind of encounter you had, but I wish people would be a little more sensitive. And I hope you feel some peace and consolation. I'll be praying for you tonight at adoration.

[homeschoolmom]

:console:

[Ice_nine]

sorry, people are mad rude sometimes, and they are usually blissfully unaware that they're hurting people.

[Lilllabettt]

My favorite response to nosey questions is: "why do you ask?"

[Guest Allie]

Gentle hug.  Sorry about the  DoDos who hurt you.  Prayers.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Allie

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

People are stupid. Prayers, Maggie.

[PhuturePriest]

You have indeed done the public a wonderful service. Thank you. I'll definitely keep praying for you.

[CatherineM]

My response, "why on Earth would you ask such a private (or personal) question?"

[eagle_eye222001]

People are stupid. Prayers, Maggie.

 

Stole my answer.

[4588686]

Whenever somebody asks me a rude question I punch them right in the gut and then spit on them.  

 

Just something to think about.  

[CatholicsAreKewl]

My response, "why on Earth would you ask such a private (or personal) question?"

 

Some people are really intrusive, especially if they come from more collectivist cultures. I'm just a total idiot in social situations. I tend to misread body language, ask all the wrong questions, and hold eye contact for exactly the amount of time for it to be creepy. Maggie should buy all of these people communication self-help books. They've at least helped me pretend I'm making progress.

[Lil Red]

Maggie, I hate that people are rude and stupid and make you feel uncomfortable and sad and angry. I wiah I could tell you somwthing that would make it all better. But I will tell you about the dream I had last night where I told off my nosy aunt, and it felt wonderful. :)

[Maggyie]

I'm embarrassed. It seems like things get better and then a couple weeks go by and the carp hits the fan again. I can't handle my life and it takes the form of posting TMI thoughts on internet message boards, hahaha. whine whine whine! Sad thing is in real life I'm much, much worse, but it's at least as unbearable for me as it is for those around me.