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Futurepriest: The Ladies Man


brianthephysicist

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brianthephysicist

Every time I see a thread where MAPS is hitting on one of the phatmass ladies:

 

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3lUQ3vWB4k[/media]

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PhuturePriest

Every time I see a thread where MAPS is hitting on one of the phatmass ladies:

 

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3lUQ3vWB4k[/media]

 

This is ridiculous. I totally already did a meme thread using that joke on me like, forever ago.

 

Also, I'm telling Kate on June 1st how I feel about her.

 

Like, seriously.

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PhuturePriest

Which one was Kate again? And why 1 June?

 

The girl I met in February. And because that's the next time I'm seeing her, and I don't want to tell her over the phone.

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Nihil Obstat

The start of June should be just enough time to grow a scraggly neckbeard. Then wear a t-shirt stained with Doritos and Mountain Dew, ratty jeans, and a cheap fedora from Hot Topic or some crap.

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PhuturePriest

The start of June should be just enough time to grow a scraggly neckbeard. Then wear a t-shirt stained with Doritos and Mountain Dew, ratty jeans, and a cheap fedora from Hot Topic or some crap.

 


It will be at Emily's sister's wedding, so I will actually be in a suit. But the other stuff sounds like a nice challenge to see if she really likes me for me, I guess.

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Nihil Obstat


It will be at Emily's sister's wedding, so I will actually be in a suit. But the other stuff sounds like a nice challenge to see if she really likes me for me, I guess.

You can always Mountain Dew + Dorito-stain a suit. Make it an extra cheap suit with some novelty/gag element attached, like an 'ironic' button or something. 

Altered idea: Ultra cheap suit, spend no more than $50 on it. Cheap fabric, make sure pants and jacket are the same colour, but not matching materials or patterns. Slightly but still noticeably different shades should do it. Thrift stores should be ok for this.

Don't wear a collared shirt underneath. Instead express your individuality! By wearing the same ironic meme shirts as everyone else! xkcd is good for this. xkcd is actually very funny and intelligent, so by wearing one of the shirts obviously you are too. Make it a grey shirt. Grey will prominently display the Mountain-Dew-Dorito-stains, i.e. the Stains of Champions.

Now, there's another reason the shirt is grey. That way you can wear an ostentatious white skinny tie. The rule of thumb for menswear is that the tie is never lighter than the shirt, so obviously you must express your individuality by doing exactly the opposite. Never mind that it looks stupid. Never mind that ties over a t-shirt are moronic. Never mind that skinny ties are kind of douchey. 

 

Basically, you need to look even worse than this guy:

 

1.jpg

 

I believe in you. If you get the neckbeard going, then you're golden. The grey stained meme-t-shirt and shiny white tie will make you a god among moronic teenagers.

 

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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Nihil Obstat

FloopML I ALMOST FORGOT!

 

Wear bright white, really shiny shoes. With the rest of the suit being black or charcoal or some mismatched trainwreck combination thereof. Yes it's ridiculous. Yes you have to do it.

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PhuturePriest

You can always Mountain Dew + Dorito-stain a suit. Make it an extra cheap suit with some novelty/gag element attached, like an 'ironic' button or something. 

Altered idea: Ultra cheap suit, spend no more than $50 on it. Cheap fabric, make sure pantaloons and jacket are the same colour, but not matching materials or patterns. Slightly but still noticeably different shades should do it. Thrift stores should be ok for this.

Don't wear a collared shirt underneath. Instead express your individuality! By wearing the same ironic meme shirts as everyone else! xkcd is good for this. xkcd is actually very funny and intelligent, so by wearing one of the shirts obviously you are too. Make it a grey shirt. Grey will prominently display the Mountain-Dew-Dorito-stains, i.e. the Stains of Champions.

Now, there's another reason the shirt is grey. That way you can wear an ostentatious white skinny tie. The rule of thumb for menswear is that the tie is never lighter than the shirt, so obviously you must express your individuality by doing exactly the opposite. Never mind that it looks stupid. Never mind that ties over a t-shirt are moronic. Never mind that skinny ties are kind of douchey. 

 

Basically, you need to look even worse than this guy:

 

1.jpg

 

I believe in you. If you get the neckbeard going, then you're golden. The grey stained meme-t-shirt and shiny white tie will make you a god among moronic teenagers.

 

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

 

 

FloopML I ALMOST FORGOT!

 

Wear bright white, really shiny shoes. With the rest of the suit being black or charcoal or some mismatched trainwreck combination thereof. Yes it's ridiculous. Yes you have to do it.

 

.......................................................................................

 

OR.

 

I can buy a spectacular suit that makes the song "Sharp Dressed Man" play in women's minds when they see me, get my hair styled, wear my special cologne, show off my smile, and perhaps give her a reason to say "yes".

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brianthephysicist

This is ridiculous. I totally already did a meme thread using that joke on me like, forever ago.

 

Also, I'm telling Kate on June 1st how I feel about her.

 

Like, seriously.

 

It got you to come back didn't it? ;P

 

Which one was Kate again? And why 1 June?

 

Same questions

 

The girl I met in February. And because that's the next time I'm seeing her, and I don't want to tell her over the phone.

 

Seems legit.  

 

Although (and yes, I do realize that this may be difficult given the circumstances) you could try and see if you guys can hang out sometime before then. 

 

 

The start of June should be just enough time to grow a scraggly neckbeard. Then wear a t-shirt stained with Doritos and Mountain Dew, ratty jeans, and a cheap fedora from Hot Topic or some crap.

 

 

 

You can always Mountain Dew + Dorito-stain a suit. Make it an extra cheap suit with some novelty/gag element attached, like an 'ironic' button or something. 

Altered idea: Ultra cheap suit, spend no more than $50 on it. Cheap fabric, make sure pantaloons and jacket are the same colour, but not matching materials or patterns. Slightly but still noticeably different shades should do it. Thrift stores should be ok for this.

Don't wear a collared shirt underneath. Instead express your individuality! By wearing the same ironic meme shirts as everyone else! xkcd is good for this. xkcd is actually very funny and intelligent, so by wearing one of the shirts obviously you are too. Make it a grey shirt. Grey will prominently display the Mountain-Dew-Dorito-stains, i.e. the Stains of Champions.

Now, there's another reason the shirt is grey. That way you can wear an ostentatious white skinny tie. The rule of thumb for menswear is that the tie is never lighter than the shirt, so obviously you must express your individuality by doing exactly the opposite. Never mind that it looks stupid. Never mind that ties over a t-shirt are moronic. Never mind that skinny ties are kind of douchey. 

 

Basically, you need to look even worse than this guy:

 

1.jpg

 

I believe in you. If you get the neckbeard going, then you're golden. The grey stained meme-t-shirt and shiny white tie will make you a god among moronic teenagers.

 

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

 

 

 

WAIT WAIT WAIT, I GOT THIS ONE!

 

 

Go for "Don Cherry-chic".

 

BEHOLD HIS GENIUS!!

 

doncherryhnic20110615-roneyes.jpg

 

Don Cherry's 25 Most Obnoxious Suits Of All Time

 

download1.jpg

 

Oh you!

 

 

 


It will be at Emily's sister's wedding, so I will actually be in a suit. But the other stuff sounds like a nice challenge to see if she really likes me for me, I guess.

 

Does she have a date for the wedding? Are you her date for the wedding?

 

If the answer to both of these questions is no, then I'd get on that post-haste.

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