Parents' Struggles With Religious Vocations

[Kateri89]

I was reading in another thread that we shouldn't "carry our parents' crosses" when it comes to discernment.  In other words, if they are angry, sad, etc. that is not our cross to bear, it's theirs.  I've thought about this but I still think it's a discerner's cross to bear as well.  Part of the suffering that comes with a religious vocation is not only the sadness of leaving family and friends, but the pain of knowing that it hurts them as well.

 

I imagine that Jesus was anguished to see His mother suffering on his behalf.  I know that it's difficult for me to discern sometimes because I know how much it hurts my parents (more specifically my mom).  I just wondered what other PMers think about this.  I'm not saying that I would abandon God's call for me just because it will upset my parents; I still have every intention on entering if/when/where God wants me to.  I'm just curious if you guys think that our families' suffering is part of our cross to bear or if it is solely theirs.

[nikita92]

People are NOT responsible for other people's feelings/emotions!! One may disagree with one's decision(s), however one is he master of of one's own domain; Therefor, it is one's own decision/choice on how they will handle situations as they come along in one's life! I will not play that blame/shame of "you MADE me angry...therefor It's your fault that I FEEL upset with you" game. If I choose not to be open minded about my daughter's decision ...it certainly is NOT my daughter's cross to bear, if I choose not accept it and be negative about it. I learned alot about not carrying other people's crosses on my last silent retreat from the guest speaker. You are 100% responsible for your own feelings. You can't carry other people's backpacks and our own as well. This weakens you and takes away from your own strength if you try and carry more than you should. Parents don't want to let go of their children, especially mothers! (in some cultures more than others) I am a mother of a single never married daughter in her early 30's. If she came to me with her decision to enter, I would NOT take it as a personal insult and be "HURT" about it! Yes for instance, there goes my preconceived idea of her having children sometime in her life! I may feel sad about it...but that is MY cross to carry..not hers!! Father Timothy Gallagher O.M.V will tell you, that GOD does not want us to SUFFER in our vocation. The journey can be filled with obstacles of all sorts..yet suffering shouldn't be a part of it. Also, please remember that wanting and needing acceptance from others inparts pridefulness which doesn't really have place in a convent/monastery. Please excuse my bluntness and lack of eloquent! This is my perspective only!