Modesty

[carmenchristi]

Hi, I didn't read everyone's post here, but I think your intentions are admirable. Just remember that it isn't a sin to take care of your appearance. It's ok to stop wearing makeup and wear mostly long skirts if you are
Seriously discerning (and even if you're not!). What you wear should reflect your state in life... Our clothes are an outward expression of who we are. So keep it simple if that's what you feel called to, but remember that beauty is still important in that simplicity because it gives glory to God. Dress for Him and everything will fall into place.

[petitpèlerin]

I'm not into wearing skirts every day, I'm happy in my jeans but I'm careful that my jeans aren't too tight. I'm extremely conscious about what I wear now because I'm living by a novitiate of brothers and I am not here to draw their visual attention to my female figure. They have enough struggles and temptations in their lives right now without young women coming around here dressed to impress. I sometimes feel self-conscious because often young women do show up for mass or for a retreat dressed extremely well and I feel downright drab in comparison, but oh well. I didn't come here to blow my savings on a new wardrobe. If I ever go back to living "in the world" I'll buy some nicer (modest) clothes and feel better about my appearance but meanwhile I'm in solidarity with the poor. :)

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thanks for everyone who replied :) I think I'm going to take a break from this forum for a bit but I wanted to respond first. I'm glad that there are others who are interested in this topic too.

 

The way of dressing that I have come to like for myself is wearing longer skirts (mine tend to be much past the knees and if anyone is wondering how to make this look work, I'm still learning but I like how these skirts look with boots :)), and more lose tops with smaller necklines, like the boat neck tops that are pretty imo :) cardigans and scarves are also great for this. I'm still learning how to make it work. Maxi dresses with cardigans are great for the summer :)

 

So what advice would you submit, to a middle added woman who has worn jeans pretty much all her life, and who lives in a Eddie Bauer,REI kind of state that has more crummy weather than sunny warm ??!! (A prescription or OTC of Vitamin D is pare for the course here) I do pay attention to the way I dress for church functions and mass! I wish other ladies (mostly younger ones) would dress more modest at the very least while attending mass.

I live in Canada and wear skirts full time :) In the winter, I wear longer (lower mid calf) wool skirts with leggings and high boots. I never felt cold, actually it felt warmer than in jeans, because there were more layers :)

 

Hi, I didn't read everyone's post here, but I think your intentions are admirable. Just remember that it isn't a sin to take care of your appearance. It's ok to stop wearing makeup and wear mostly long skirts if you are
Seriously discerning (and even if you're not!). What you wear should reflect your state in life... Our clothes are an outward expression of who we are. So keep it simple if that's what you feel called to, but remember that beauty is still important in that simplicity because it gives glory to God. Dress for Him and everything will fall into place.

I see what you mean... I think it's good to look neat and make sure we look presentable to others. The reason I stopped wearing makeup is because I don't want to make myself look more beautiful than how God made me, but just be the way He made me. I think it's a good idea to focus on dressing for Him, and also asking Mother Mary for intercession to help be more pure/modest :)

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm not into wearing skirts every day, I'm happy in my jeans but I'm careful that my jeans aren't too tight. I'm extremely conscious about what I wear now because I'm living by a novitiate of brothers and I am not here to draw their visual attention to my female figure. They have enough struggles and temptations in their lives right now without young women coming around here dressed to impress. I sometimes feel self-conscious because often young women do show up for mass or for a retreat dressed extremely well and I feel downright drab in comparison, but oh well. I didn't come here to blow my savings on a new wardrobe. If I ever go back to living "in the world" I'll buy some nicer (modest) clothes and feel better about my appearance but meanwhile I'm in solidarity with the poor. :)

 

I think living in solidarity with the poor is something beautiful, - though the sacrifice is often only seen by God :) although I haven't lived this way, last year when I started trying to dress modestly, I only had a couple things and couldn't afford any more so I wore them all the time. During the summer, I often wore a maxi dress that I picked up at a store with a cardigan. That's the year I started wearing skirts full time. Sometimes I felt kind of drab too because I often wore the same things and the dress looks kind of simple, especially for Sunday Mass. This year I was able to buy more clothing of the type that I'm trying to wear. But there was something good about that summer though sometimes I too struggled with how I felt about my appearance. I think it also showed me how attached to clothing I can be.

Edited April 9, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

haha I know I was confused too when I came to phatmass and everyone was talking about "pantaloons" :)

[dominicansoul]

don't leave this phorum for a while... :(

 

 

 

*sigh* 

[MarysLittleFlower]

don't leave this phorum for a while... :(

 

 

 

*sigh* 

 

I like VS :) open mic is a little intense.. maybe I'll just post here. I don't know I need to pray a little. God bless you :)

Edited April 9, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[dominicansoul]

God bless you! :)

[MarysLittleFlower]

I've been wondering.. is it judgemental to believe that there are objective modesty standards? If you don't say if individual people are sinning or not (because certain things could limit culpability and you don't know people's hearts etc). Any thoughts? I did read some things about Saints and how they did seem to talk about certain things like that objectively........ ??

Edited April 10, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[arfink]

I've been wondering.. is it judgemental to believe that there are objective modesty standards? If you don't say if individual people are sinning or not (because certain things could limit culpability and you don't know people's hearts etc). Any thoughts? I did read some things about Saints and how they did seem to talk about certain things like that objectively........ ??

 

Yeah, because they lived hundreds of years ago. :|
 

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

To put it shortly: over the past couple years, I have went through some changes in regards to how I dress, etc, some related to discernment (being drawn to dressing more simply to be more detached from clothing, though I've failed in this a lot) - and some just to modesty. I also began to cover my head at church, partly due to St Padre Pio (a whole story about this) and partly because I like the Latin Mass and women there often wear mantillas, so I got used to it.

Your Welcome :)





























Oh you meant the REAL St Pio, yeah he's Avvesome too :) .

[MarysLittleFlower]

Yeah, because they lived hundreds of years ago. :|
 

 

Not all... some lived in the 20th century...

 

I don't think our time is particularly known for advanced morals, more like relativism :) that's why I started wondering.

Your Welcome :)





























Oh you meant the REAL St Pio, yeah he's Avvesome too :) .

Hehe :P

[dominicansoul]

we really can't judge people's hearts, so I think its wrong to think ill of people who may not dress the way we dress.  there are standards, of course modesty is not relative.  But you have to be balanced and you have to use simple common sense...

 

I think you need to be careful not to become overly scrupulous about it, it can literally drive you nuts.  I really really like this quote from Pope John Paul II that the phatmasser "awed by His Grace" posted in the other thread:

 

 

 

"While we are on the subject of dress and its relevance to the problem of modesty and immodesty it is worth drawing attention to the functional significance of differences in attire. There are certain objective situations in which even total nudity of the body is not immodest, since the proper function of nakedness in this context is not to provoke a reaction to the person as an object for enjoyment, and in just the same way the functions of particular forms of attire may vary. Thus, the body may be partially bared for physical labour, for bathing, or for a medical examination. If then we wish to pass a moral judgement on particular forms of dress we have to start from the particular functions which they serve. When a person uses such a form of dress in accordance with its objective function we cannot claim to see anything immodest in it, even if it involves partial nudity. Whereas the use of such a costume outside its proper context is immodest, and is inevitably felt to be so. For example, there is nothing immodest about the use of a bathing costume at a bathing place, but to wear it in the street or while out for a walk is contrary to the dictates of modesty."
 

( Karol Wojtyla in Love and Responsibility)

 

 

[Starets]

I am a middle aged man, so there is a limit to what i can add.

 

First of all, i am glad that this conversation is at least taking place, both here and on some other threads on this site. Back in the late 90s i was on a Catholic mailing list that had a couple thousand members. whenever the subject of modest dress came up, either you would have supporters of modesty  vilified as judgemental people who are neglecting their Eucharistic host at mass or you would have nitwits saying "i have such-and-such grubby piece of clothing, can i wear it to Mass? huh? can I? please? Can i? Can I?" So I am glad that the conversation is taking place in a rational, intelligent, respectful manner.

 

Second, I love beauty whenever I see it, and that certainly includes the female form. If I do see a lady I think is beautiful, i will thank God for the beauty I see displayed and ask God to bless her. It is hard to lust after someone you just asked God to bless! I won't look down on someone because of what they are wearing. I won't scream or berate someone because I think their skirt is "too short" or their top is "too revealing".  I do have some standards, though. For example, I would say that butt cleavage on someone young enough to be my daughter is not sexy. I say the same for women of any age but i suspect most of the gals here are in their 20's and I hit 50 in June! Sometimes, with a female hairdresser whi was a friend of mine, I have had to concentrate on looking at her eyebrows because *ahem a certain two pats of her anatomy wee very much in view and I didn't want to, ummmmmm, get distracted!

 

Third is an apropos snippet from blogger Mark Shea: "an inability or refusal to exercise self control on my part is not a problem for all women everywhere." I think that is valid. This is certainly a problem given the sheer amount of sexualization and pornification there is of people nowadays. nevertheless my half of the human race can be expected to show self control, even though that is much harder in our current culture than it was even 30 years ago.

 

Anyway enough babbling from a doddering old fool!

 

*avuncular hug and forehead smooch to all the ladies in this thread