Homily Humor

[DiscerningCatholic]

If you haven't heard at least one humorous story or sentence in a homily, I'm sad for you. :| 

 

Fr. A. was talking about God's mercy today and told this story at the beginning of the homily:

 

"There was a pastor who didn’t know when to stop preaching. One day, after a sermon, one of his parishoners came up to him and said, “Pastor, your sermons are like God’s peace and mercy.”

“What do you mean?” asked the pastor. 

“It was beyond human comprehension, like God’s peace,” answered the man, “and I thought that it would endure forever!”

 

[PhuturePriest]

My Priest always begins his homily with a joke. On Christmas, he spoke about his old parish (And this is a true story, and what he actually said):

 

In my old parish, the church had beautiful stained-glass windows, one of them having the Nativity. So one Christmas Eve Mass, I decided to be fancy, and I had some guys put a spotlight outside of the church that went directly into that window so it would be clear. During the homily, I went down and asked a boy to look at the window. "What do you see there?" I asked him. He looked, and he said "Well, I see a Christmas tree!" I was confused, since it was a picture of the Nativity, not a Christmas tree, so I looked, and I'll be damned, there was a Christmas tree!

 

Edited April 7, 2013 by FuturePriest387

[DiscerningCatholic]

Fr. B. told this story the week that we had trumpets installed:

 

In 2002, I met a high school youngster who believed that the end of the world was on April 21. So I okayed everything with his parents, borrowed a trumpet from a friend, snuck into the boy's backyard at 2 in the morning on April 21st, and started blowing the trumpet. Needless to say, the boy never claimed to know when the end of the world was again.

 

[FutureSister2009]

This was from the Eucharistic Congress my Parish had back in 2005. I can still remember it clearly. I can't even remember the name of the Priest but he was a guest speaker. This was the very first line of the sermon.

 

"One day, I was on an airplane. I sat next to a young man. I asked him what he did for a living. He said "I'm an anesthesiologist". I said "Me too!"

 

 

As in, he talks and puts people to sleep. I thought it was funny and I was only 13 when I heard it.

[Norseman82]

A standard joke (at least before the revised English translation) was that the priest would recount how he would be having trouble with the sound system, so he would say "There's something wrong with this mocrophone" and the congregation would reply "And also with you!".