Aspergers/autism

[SilentJoy]

 

 

Then I got confirmed. My Confirmation gift was a copy of The Catholic Source Book, which is full of all sorts of Catholic trivia. I absorbed that thing very quickly. Then I started getting apologetics books. Then I started devouring the Catechism. I have a degree in theology now. All because theology became one of my eccentric focal points.

 

 

You win Phatmass!! Congratulations. :smile2:

[Thy Geekdom Come]

You win Phatmass!! Congratulations. :smile2:

 

I'm not sure what that means. :think:

[SilentJoy]

The following is part testimony, part seeking, part cry for help, lol. I'm going to share this hear because this is and has always been my phamily. My kids are all products of a relationship that started on Phatmass, so I can't help but see it that way.

 

 

You triple-win Phatmass. :eek:

[SilentJoy]

Question:

 

I test as a 36-40 on the Autism Spectrum Quotient Test, which is Asperger's range. I also test as near 100% melancholic on the temperament test. There seems to be a lot of overlap in the outward appearance of both. So ... anyone think maybe Asperger's is just like really intense melancholia?

 

 

I had similar results and the same questions. The specialist who diagnosed me was not very familiar with the "4 Temperments" theory ("Melancholic?" she asked. "Do you feel like you have a lot of melancholy?"), but I can pass on her explanation of why she felt that I was Aspergian rather than just very quiet, introverted or awkward. Basically, an introvert who is quiet has something to say, but just chooses not to because they are either shy or tired of socializing. Someone with Asperger's, however, lacks some of the "theory of mind" necessary for effective communication, and it can take time to process information; when I don't have something to say, I really, really don't have something to say. A normal introvert might think a little slower and might have social anxiety that prevents them from expressing themselves, but I have to sort through all of the information I've received from an interaction and come up with logical results and sometimes I miss the cues that I most need, and until I've decided how I'm expected to respond, I really don't have anything to give. I also have to think about all the technical aspects of how I'm supposed to use body language etc. It is starting to feel a little more natural to me, but for normal folks, it's innate.

 

Its kind of sad but funny too. I might think I've done a social performance that should get me nominated for something; I looked in the person's eyes but not TOO much, I used an appropriate hand gesture, I moved my mouth in several highly intriguing ways, I did a fantastic job with the triple-nod tactic to keep the conversation going and to convey interest; and ALL THE PERSON CAN SAY is, "Why are you so quiet?" It can be very discouraging, because "quiet" isn't just something that I do, it's what I AM, and I can't change that.
 

[SilentJoy]

I'm not sure what that means. :think:

 

I'm not either. Sorry!

 

I just thought it was cool that you were able to find the trail of Catholicism and follow it with such an intensity of purpose.

[SilentJoy]

Is that what stimming is? I'd looked it up in my research, but figured I didn't have it because I don't snap my fingers and stuff a lot.

 

I totally rock back and forth sometimes when I'm uncomfortable and I listen to the same song over and over all the time. I also bounce my leg constantly.

 

(Let It Go is a good song for this, by the way. I find Lifehouse's Everything is also good. If I'm in a weird mood, I'll listen to Creed, but only because I don't scream with loud noises, lol. I just get very irritated with commotion.)

 

"Stimming" behaviors can be a normal form of self-comfort for anyone, regardless of whether or not they're on the spectrum. People rock their legs, play with their hair, click a pen... it is seen as abnormal, however, if such repetitive behaviors are necessary for equilibrium and are difficult to control in such a way that they adversely affect someone socially. (That's an awkward description but I'm not sure how else to put it.)
 

[Thy Geekdom Come]

"Stimming" behaviors can be a normal form of self-comfort for anyone, regardless of whether or not they're on the spectrum. People rock their legs, play with their hair, click a pen... it is seen as abnormal, however, if such repetitive behaviors are necessary for equilibrium and are difficult to control in such a way that they adversely affect someone socially. (That's an awkward description but I'm not sure how else to put it.)
 

 

I rock back and forth, and I've been doing it a lot the last few days in my existential crisis. It doesn't really cause social problems, though, because I work at home, out in the country, and basically am rarely in social contexts. THUS, I'm basing my assessments mostly on how I was when I had a job in the city, as well as all my life leading to that point.

 

I used to click pens a lot and I have ALWAYS bounced my legs on the ground, to the point that most of me is flabby, but my legs are lean and muscular. I guess most people don't notice that, so technically, it hasn't caused a lot of trouble with me socially, but it's definitely there.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

You triple-win Phatmass. :eek:

 

My firstborn was the first child produced in a marriage that began on Phatmass. :-) I'm an old school PMer. It's been a decade since I joined. I've been a mod and a Church Scholar. dUSt once had me watch his booth (and cash) at NCYC while he went on a break. PM is a large part of my identity.

Edited October 8, 2014 by Raphael

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I had similar results and the same questions. The specialist who diagnosed me was not very familiar with the "4 Temperments" theory ("Melancholic?" she asked. "Do you feel like you have a lot of melancholy?"), but I can pass on her explanation of why she felt that I was Aspergian rather than just very quiet, introverted or awkward. Basically, an introvert who is quiet has something to say, but just chooses not to because they are either shy or tired of socializing. Someone with Asperger's, however, lacks some of the "theory of mind" necessary for effective communication, and it can take time to process information; when I don't have something to say, I really, really don't have something to say. A normal introvert might think a little slower and might have social anxiety that prevents them from expressing themselves, but I have to sort through all of the information I've received from an interaction and come up with logical results and sometimes I miss the cues that I most need, and until I've decided how I'm expected to respond, I really don't have anything to give. I also have to think about all the technical aspects of how I'm supposed to use body language etc. It is starting to feel a little more natural to me, but for normal folks, it's innate.

 

Its kind of sad but funny too. I might think I've done a social performance that should get me nominated for something; I looked in the person's eyes but not TOO much, I used an appropriate hand gesture, I moved my mouth in several highly intriguing ways, I did a fantastic job with the triple-nod tactic to keep the conversation going and to convey interest; and ALL THE PERSON CAN SAY is, "Why are you so quiet?" It can be very discouraging, because "quiet" isn't just something that I do, it's what I AM, and I can't change that.
 

 

I'm definitely introverted, but this goes beyond that. I'm not terribly debilitated in conversation, I just make things awkward. Sometimes I am shy because I'm an introvert, but I also don't know how much of that has been learned because I've been rejected so many times by peers. I had, not exaggerating, 0 friends through almost all of grade school. The 2 friends I had in middle school immediately stopped talking to me after graduation.

 

Anyway, sometimes I'm just being an introvert, but the important thing is that of all the times I've tried to reach out, to be social, or to fit in - and there have been many - I haven't, for the many reasons I listed above in my self-assessment. I only finally began to get accepted by peers in college, and that was pretty easy, seeing as I went to seminary, then to a college where I spent most of my time at the Newman Center, and then to Steubenville, all places where people are more likely to be accepting of a misfit like me. But my wife tells me sometimes I come across as "special" and I've had a few friends who, I've noticed, but never understood quite why, have taken it upon themselves to get me to stop talking when I'm apparently embarrassing myself.

[SilentJoy]

Anyway, what you aspie folks people think?

 

I think you sound more Aspie than I do. :hehe2: I'm female, though, and I have heard that this can make Asperger's more difficult to detect. I was actually surprised that I got the diagnosis; I thought sure the specialist would say that I was just an anxious, awkward little homeschooled introvert who needed to get out more.

 

If you don't need a diagnosis for disability income, educational assistance or "closure," and you feel that you can benefit from understanding how Asperger's works and learning how to deal with it, I personally don't see the problem in assuming that you might have it without seeking a professional opinion. It's not like you're missing out on a cure, and, as someone mentioned, you're not taking medication for something that you don't have.

 

I sought a diagnosis because I'm pursuing religious life and I wanted to be able to give a potential community as much information as possible to help them decide whether or not this was the will of God for me. It's almost impossible to help someone understand what kind of difficulties I might struggle with otherwise, because I can interact very well for half an hour in structured environments (like a parlor visit!) and they think that I'm more normal than I am.

Edited October 8, 2014 by SilentJoy

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I think you sound more Aspie than I do. :hehe2: I'm female, though, and I have heard that this can make Asperger's more difficult to detect. I was actually surprised that I got the diagnosis; I thought sure the specialist would say that I was just an anxious, awkward little homeschooled introvert who needed to get out more.

 

If you don't need a diagnosis for disability income, educational assistance or "closure," and you feel that you can benefit from understanding how Asperger's works and learning how to deal with it, I personally don't see the problem in assuming that you might have it without seeking a professional opinion. It's not like you're missing out on a cure, and, as someone mentioned, you're not taking medication for something that you don't have.

 

I sought a diagnosis because I'm pursuing religious life and I wanted to be able to give a potential community as much information as possible to help them decide whether or not this was the will of God for me. It's almost impossible to help someone understand what kind of difficulties I might struggle with otherwise, because I can interact very well for half an hour in structured environments (like a parlor visit!) and they think that I'm more normal than I am.

 

Religious life, you say? That Catholic employer of mine ... is Vocation Boom. :-D I love meeting folks looking into religious life!

 

I'm pretty sure I have it. My list has gone up to about 75 different symptoms I've shown in my life. Like I said, I'm mostly on top of it now, at least on the outside, but the answer is worth so much to me. I want to know. I want my life to make a little sense for once, lol, and I don't see the danger in calling myself one if I'm not medicating or anything. If I'm not an aspie, I'm incredibly close to being one, lol.

 

A shrink friend of mine agreed to look at my symptoms list and send me some of the higher-level diagnostic stuff. If I'm still not content, my local Autism Society chapter pointed me toward a local shrink who will do the whole diagnosis process for around $400. That might be money well-spent for peace of mind.

[tinytherese]

Do you have any thoughts on the symptoms I listed?

I'm no professional in the area, but those sound like Autistic traits.

I can identify with some of them. I have difficulty with verbal and facial responsiveness to what others say, feel awkward about smiling constantly because it feels fake, but that's apparently necessary to look approachable to others, and I've yet to hear about someone on the spectrum who doesn't have special interests that they obsess over. I've had an obsession with Catholic theology as well, but struggle with explaining it so others can understand.

[tinytherese]

Just to clarify, being quiet, shy, and introverted are not the same thing.

Being quiet means that you don't talk a lot. Sometimes it's because of shyness but sometimes people are just quiet because they don't have anything to say and or they're listening. Maybe you need time to process what another person is saying and think about it, only to think of something to say about the subject after the event has passed.

Shyness is when you want to talk to people, but you're nervous around them.

Introversion is when you feel overstimulated by being around people and you feel recharged after spending time alone. It isn't that you don't like people, you just spend time alone more frequently than others might.

It is possible to be a person who is quiet, shy, and introverted, or only two of those triats, only one of them, or none of them.

I happen to be all 3.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Just to clarify, being quiet, shy, and introverted are not the same thing.

Being quiet means that you don't talk a lot. Sometimes it's because of shyness but sometimes people are just quiet because they don't have anything to say and or they're listening. Maybe you need time to process what another person is saying and think about it, only to think of something to say about the subject after the event has passed.

Shyness is when you want to talk to people, but you're nervous around them.

Introversion is when you feel overstimulated by being around people and you feel recharged after spending time alone. It isn't that you don't like people, you just spend time alone more frequently than others might.

It is possible to be a person who is quiet, shy, and introverted, or only two of those triats, only one of them, or none of them.

I happen to be all 3.

 

I talk tons around people I'm comfortable with, so I'm not really quiet. I'm shy around crowds, but not generally around individuals, and I'm probably shy because I'm introverted, and past introvert experience has taught me to be nervous around crowds, because it will exhaust me.

[SilentJoy]

I rock back and forth, and I've been doing it a lot the last few days in my existential crisis. It doesn't really cause social problems, though, because I work at home, out in the country, and basically am rarely in social contexts. THUS, I'm basing my assessments mostly on how I was when I had a job in the city, as well as all my life leading to that point.

 

I used to click pens a lot and I have ALWAYS bounced my legs on the ground, to the point that most of me is flabby, but my legs are lean and muscular. I guess most people don't notice that, so technically, it hasn't caused a lot of trouble with me socially, but it's definitely there.

 

It doesn't have to be a social struggle. Sometimes someone on the spectrum will get their "stimming" out before they meet anyone - for example, they don't want to stim at a job interview, so they get it over with before they leave their car instead.