tinytherese Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 The X-Men films took on new meaning for me after my diagnosis since the series is about discrimination. People on the spectrum as well as those with other conditions, like mental illness, (which I also have-depression,) can be stigmatized by people because of misconceptions about them. To paraphrase a line from X-Men First Class, "Autistic and proud." Does anyone else fear being rejected if someone finds out that you're on the spectrum? On the Wrong Planet discussion forum, when asked how to tell people about having the condition, the two responses were either, "Never tell anyone. Everyone I've ever told, even family members, abandoned me," or "I don't want to socialize with anyone. I'm happy being alone." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 What should one do in order to feel "at home" in a parish? Getting out of your comfort zone by joining various ministries in your Church would really help. That's what helped draw me out of my shell. I'm involved in Christ Renews His Parish, EMHC (I'm the coordinator for my Mass on Sunday), and I've also helped with rosary making and the choir. All the activities I've been involved in have helped me meet people and make it so that, everytime I attend Church, I see various familiar faces rather than a sea of unknown people. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Does anyone else fear being rejected if someone finds out that you're on the spectrum? I'm on Wrong Planet too. Hi there! I don't so much fear being rejected, but of perhaps making people worry about how they ought to act around me, when otherwise they would have just treated me like a normal, though quiet, person (and that's how I'd prefer to be treated). Also, there is often the assumption that someone with Asperger's has no empathy. If somebody brings a gun to school, he's often portrayed as an Introvert (shocking!) or even someone suspected to have...*gasp*...Asperger's! When I was getting ready for a summer camping trip, my sister said, "She'll be alone, maybe she should get a gun," and my dear sweet ever-loving mama (jokingly) said, "Don't give her a GUN, she has ASPERGER'S!!!" and I said, "Its okay, there aren't any schools nearby..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Do you happen to know the names of these communities? If you'd feel more comfortable PMing me, I'll turn my messenger back on. I know of one community that I'm in contact with but I've only told the VD of my depression - not my gluten allergy or my hypothyroidism - and she's accepting of it. I'll have to break the news about the other two problems later. She seems willing to let me try but I'm always on the lookout for others who accept people with manageable illnesses. :) I didn't go looking specifically for a community that would accept Asperger's; I just checked out ones that I liked, and then I asked. A lot of them said "No" but a few said that they didn't think it would be a problem unless it turned out that I actually couldn't live their communal life (I think I'd be fine, as long as they could put up with me...) :hehe2: I'm very sorry that you have a gluten allergy; are you able to receive the Eucharist from the chalice, or does even a trace of gluten make you ill? Do you have any interest in St. Francis de Sales? He helped found the Visitation Sisters as an Order that could accept women who might have a religious vocation yet couldn't enter a more "austere" Order like the Carmelites or Poor Clares, either because of their health or age, or just because they didn't fit that mindset. I like de Sales because he seemed to put a unique emphasis on the love and mercy of God during a time when God's justice and vengeance was more popular (not that this should be excluded). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I'm on Wrong Planet too. Hi there! I don't so much fear being rejected, but of perhaps making people worry about how they ought to act around me, when otherwise they would have just treated me like a normal, though quiet, person (and that's how I'd prefer to be treated). Also, there is often the assumption that someone with Asperger's has no empathy. If somebody brings a gun to school, he's often portrayed as an Introvert (shocking!) or even someone suspected to have...*gasp*...Asperger's! When I was getting ready for a summer camping trip, my sister said, "She'll be alone, maybe she should get a gun," and my dear sweet ever-loving mama (jokingly) said, "Don't give her a GUN, she has ASPERGER'S!!!" and I said, "Its okay, there aren't any schools nearby..." I used to get in trouble a lot because my mom would tell me something and I didn't display the right emotion. She'd tell me something sad and I wouldn't react right and she'd be like, "You don't seem to care!" It just didn't register in my face or something. I'd feel it but it wouldn't come out. I also have a problem bottling up my emotions because I don't know how to release them until they compound so much that I blow up. Fortunately, that has gone down since being more active in Church and going to school because I've gotten more life skills from CBT. CBT has been a GOD-SEND! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Do you have any interest in St. Francis de Sales? He helped found the Visitation Sisters as an Order that could accept women who might have a religious vocation yet couldn't enter a more "austere" Order like the Carmelites or Poor Clares, either because of their health or age, or just because they didn't fit that mindset. I like de Sales because he seemed to put a unique emphasis on the love and mercy of God during a time when God's justice and vengeance was more popular (not that this should be excluded). I forgot, the Visitation Sisters that I know of earn income largely by making altar breads...maybe that would be a problem with a gluten allergy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I used to get in trouble a lot because my mom would tell me something and I didn't display the right emotion. She'd tell me something sad and I wouldn't react right and she'd be like, "You don't seem to care!" It just didn't register in my face or something. I'd feel it but it wouldn't come out. I also have a problem bottling up my emotions because I don't know how to release them until they compound so much that I blow up. Fortunately, that has gone down since being more active in Church and going to school because I've gotten more life skills from CBT. CBT has been a GOD-SEND! I'm glad CBT is helping! I'm actually very expressive (and I have genuine emotional reactions to match) for someone on the spectrum, but it took a lot of practice. I remember being a teenager reading Swedenborg's "Heaven and Hell" (I know, he's kind of weird, but I liked some of his concepts). On earth, according to his system, people wear a kind of expressive mask that only shows what they want people to see (happy, etc.), and hides what they might actually be thinking and feeling, but in heaven, there's no mask, just the real face conveying what is REALLY going on; souls can't tell lies there (at least not convincingly). I thought to myself, "If I ever end up in Swedenborg's heaven, it's going to look like I don't even have a face!" So, even though it felt fake for a long time, I was gradually able to reach out of myself and connect my emotional life with the "real world" and I think I've found my face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Do you happen to know the names of these communities? If you'd feel more comfortable PMing me, I'll turn my messenger back on. I know of one community that I'm in contact with but I've only told the VD of my depression - not my gluten allergy or my hypothyroidism - and she's accepting of it. I'll have to break the news about the other two problems later. She seems willing to let me try but I'm always on the lookout for others who accept people with manageable illnesses. :) I could PM you, if you'd like...this is only my 3rd year discerning, and until March I didn't even know that I had Asperger's, so I've only been contacting communities about that specific issue for a few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I could PM you, if you'd like...this is only my 3rd year discerning, and until March I didn't even know that I had Asperger's, so I've only been contacting communities about that specific issue for a few months. Yes, please. I'll turn my PMs on for now. I usually have them off because I'm in school and busy. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I forgot, the Visitation Sisters that I know of earn income largely by making altar breads...maybe that would be a problem with a gluten allergy? Just to warn you, the Visitation Nuns in the US (the entirely contemplative ones or 1st degree) all said "no" to me when I asked about having a religious vocation with depression. They are unable to care for people with mental illnesses of any kind. Plus, if you have true gluten allergy and not just an intolerance, then working with altar breads will trigger symptoms. Even inhaled gluten can pose a problem. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Aspies has been making my life hard in the last few weeks of experiencing grief......like you MM I bottle up what I don't know how to express then get very overwhelmed when it all surfaces. CBT has helped a bit, but I have always argued about emotion following the thought so if you control the thought you control the emotion. Some emotions arise directly from the unconscious so there are no thoughts that precede them. Can I ask how you both cope when this is the case? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ithinkjesusiscool Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 some people talk about two kinds of empathy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy#Affective_and_cognitive_empathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Aspies has been making my life hard in the last few weeks of experiencing grief......like you MM I bottle up what I don't know how to express then get very overwhelmed when it all surfaces. CBT has helped a bit, but I have always argued about emotion following the thought so if you control the thought you control the emotion. Some emotions arise directly from the unconscious so there are no thoughts that precede them. Can I ask how you both cope when this is the case? Sorry, I don't think I've ever experienced that or, if I did, I don't recall it happening. CBT helped me understand how my behaviors were contributing to the problem at hand. My therapist worked with me on changing those behaviors. I no longer see the therapist because she agreed I was doing so well that I didn't need her help anymore. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Aspies has been making my life hard in the last few weeks of experiencing grief......like you MM I bottle up what I don't know how to express then get very overwhelmed when it all surfaces. CBT has helped a bit, but I have always argued about emotion following the thought so if you control the thought you control the emotion. Some emotions arise directly from the unconscious so there are no thoughts that precede them. Can I ask how you both cope when this is the case? I'm not sure if I've experienced that or not. If I'm grieving or really overwhelmed, sometimes it seems to help to find a place that is somewhat soundproof and howl at stuff, and whatever comes out, comes out. Supposedly Mary has some weird use for tears, so whenever I've got some, I'm not stoic about it; I offer up my "sighs, mournings and weepings." I normally never exhibit "stimming" behaviors, and never in public, but if I'm super upset and happen to be alone, it is oddly comforting to rock and listen to certain songs over and over again (I like the YouTube "10 hour" versions of things - no, I don't actually listen for 10 hours...maybe half an hour). I really liked Ed Sheeran's "I see Fire," Lindsey Sterling's "Shadows," and "Let it Go" from Disney's Frozen (even though it doesn't make any sense - if there's no right, no wrong, and no rules, is that a rule? Is it right? But wouldn't it be wrong to make that rule if its right to have no rules or is everything just a vague Jello-y neutral?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ithinkjesusiscool Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 Pax! How do you concentrate at Mass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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