Chemistry In A Relationship

[Papist]

Are those the initials of all your failed relationships?

[GeorgiiMichael]

Are those the initials of all your failed relationships?

 

You caught me.

[Papist]

You caught me.

I heard Ne was a real gas.

[Winchester]

This planet....

[Autumn Dusk]

You caught me.

 

Na really hurt.... you know you should of been careful with a chemical know for a salt.

[Anastasia13]

Na really hurt.... you know you should of been careful with a chemical know for a salt.

chemicals for salt, exactly what those old relationship wounds need. Nothing helps a wound faster than salt.

[CrossCuT]

[Nihil Obstat]

[Winchester]

If there's anything Winchester likes, it's rumination. Also, he likes referring to himself in the third person. And sharing his opinion in sometimes florid language with the rest of the world. The conceit here being that anyone will read this shit.

 

I said above that you didn't want to know. I was wrong. Probably. I was also right. Probably. "Probably" is implied for the rest of my soliloquy. When someone says "You don't want to know," they're being arrogant. Sometimes, they mean to be kind. They want to spare you some kind of pain. Or themselves. I think mostly, we're worried about the pain of seeing others in pain. At least, I think that of me. But it's always a guess. You might turn out to be right. I've told people stuff I told them they didn't want to know, and after they knew, they told me I was right. I was right in the same way someone's right when they win at roulette. Then there's human nature, which is something like a large universe, with a ton of objects flying around, mostly in opposite directions. My point  is, we are capable of wanting and not wanting the same something at the same time. I'm not talking about vacillating, here.

 

Anyway, to answer your question in a highly subjective manner: It changes. Logically, it has to. It's passing through time, and it's human. So it changes. And thank God it generally settles down, becoming something like a dormant volcano. For some people, it cools entirely, and the relationship, becoming cold and hard, gets ground down and broken. It's better to stay fluid. That way, you can move with the shape of the container. Anyway.

 

It changes for better or for worse. Frankly, I've never been very good at falling in love, in the sense of not going completely fucking nuts. Those early stages are like having a bruise. Ever had a real good bruise, and someone hit it accidentally? Or sunburn. Pick the open wound of your choice. People don't even mean to hit the damned thing. Anyway.

 

In my case, the fiery passion, and the insecurity that has always accompanied everyone of my love affairs, has dimmed. Not in a bad sense. It's good to be comfortable. And not in the other sense, either. If anything, that's gotten better. So there's something to look forward to.

 

But the vulnerability, the laying bare that accompanies the beginning of a relationship? Mostly 'no'. And I'm grateful, for that, although every once in a while, something will happen that will remind me the bruise is still there. I have a few of them, actually. I've had no shortage of falling in love. Started early, and haven't stopped. Anyway.

 

Time is like a painkiller. It numbs you. And that seems a little sad, until something makes it around the painkiller, and oh holy shit, when it does. It's better to be numb, better to be dead. Or mostly dead. But I would not give up the occasional shock of pain. That's the derangement of the human mind. That's my two directions at once. This works if you stay in the relationship, or if it ends. Time, I mean.

 

That probably sounds horrible. It is. The world is horrible. But at least it ends.

[Anastasia13]

t changes for better or for worse. Frankly, I've never been very good at falling in love, in the sense of not going completely flooping nuts. Those early stages are like having a bruise. Ever had a real good bruise, and someone hit it accidentally? Or sunburn. Pick the open wound of your choice. People don't even mean to hit the damned thing. Anyway.

 

In my case, the fiery passion, and the insecurity that has always accompanied everyone of my love affairs, has dimmed. Not in a bad sense. It's good to be comfortable. And not in the other sense, either. If anything, that's gotten better. So there's something to look forward to.

 

But the vulnerability, the laying bare that accompanies the beginning of a relationship? Mostly 'no'. And I'm grateful, for that, although every once in a while, something will happen that will remind me the bruise is still there. I have a few of them, actually. I've had no shortage of falling in love. Started early, and haven't stopped. Anyway.

 

Time is like a painkiller. It numbs you. And that seems a little sad, until something makes it around the painkiller, and oh holy poo, when it does. It's better to be numb, better to be dead. Or mostly dead. But I would not give up the occasional shock of pain. That's the derangement of the human mind. That's my two directions at once. This works if you stay in the relationship, or if it ends. Time, I mean.

 

That probably sounds horrible. It is. The world is horrible. But at least it ends.

What if you start out numb? What if you don't get that fiery passion? What if you almost never in your life have had that sort of excitement? What if you know a great person but that just isn't quite there? Do you just walk away?

[Nihil Obstat]

What if you start out numb? What if you don't get that fiery passion? What if you almost never in your life have had that sort of excitement? What if you know a great person but that just isn't quite there? Do you just walk away?

Nobody can answer that for you.

[Anastasia13]

Nobody can answer that for you.

Has anyone past 25 ever been in that position? What have they done? How did it work out? Am I weird?

Edited March 28, 2013 by Light and Truth

[Nihil Obstat]

Has anyone past 25 ever been in that position? Am I weird?

Even if they had, there is no guarantee whatsoever that their experience sheds any light on yours. You are the only one who can possibly know your situation well enough to make those kinds of calls.

[Anastasia13]

Even if they had, there is no guarantee whatsoever that their experience sheds any light on yours. You are the only one who can possibly know your situation well enough to make those kinds of calls.

And since there is no guarantee it won't, this post should not discourage others from answering.

[Nihil Obstat]

I just feel like you are trying to find answers from other people, instead of trying to understand your own role in addressing these things.

If that is the case, then hearing from other people is probably never going to help you, regardless of what their experiences are, because you will keep looking for answers in the wrong places, and not come to peace with your own agency.

I do not mean to sound aggressive or negative. I just think you can help yourself better than other people can help you, and you may lack the confidence to see that..