Help!

[Dave]

Raphael, you said you feel tempted to continue priestly formation out of guilt. Guilt is NEVER a reason to become a priest. Remember, you can't please others -- only yourself and God.

[jmjtina]

Just as you discerned the priesthood, discern marriage as well and pray. Who knows? Maybe you'll have 5 sons who will be priests and 5 daughters who will be nuns. I'll ask our Lady to guide and protect you! As well as St. Therese and my other saints!!!!!!

We'll be praying for you and your vocation!

[Colleen]

Everyone else's advice has been very good so far. So all I can add is that you're in my prayers, and you should just keep praying and discerning. Just completely surrender your vocation to God. Put it in His hands, and He'll lead you where you need to go.

I'll be praying!

[OwNeD_byGoD]

"you are not liing a rightful and just life if you dont fulfil YOUR vocation, it does not matter what the voaction is, it just matters that it is yours" -st.estanislaus? =)

[thessalonian]

My Nephew went through this. He was encouraged to date in the seminary and fell in love with a beautiful, very nice Catholic girl and they dated for over a year, and he left the seminary. It is apparent that the call in him is strong. He broke up with her last fall because he still feels strongly pulled toward the priesthood. Though I don't think he has reentered the seminary yet and haven't heard if he plans to this fall, I guess I think that if you really have the call to be a priest God will let you know. It is my opinion that in prayer if you feel you need some time away, he will call you back if that is what he wants for you. But remain strong in prayer. The devil also wants to pull you away if you do in fact have a call. I will pray.

God bless

[homeschoolmom]

guilt is a terrible reason to continue pursuing this. It isn't like your mom wants you to be a lawyer or something-- that you could always change if you decide it's not for you... this is the PRIESTHOOD we are talking about. For someone as young as you are, you seem [b]very clear[/b] in your desire for a family. And you have no great desire to concecrate the eucharist... to me, those are very telling.

I think you need to step out and live on your own for awhile. Pray, pray, pray... listen to those whose advice you value from your sem. and your family. But from a distance. I will pray for you, Micah.

[Theologian in Training]

Raphael,

Although I don't know exactly what you are experiencing I too went through a very similar situation. The long and the short of it is that I was in a minor seminary, it was a madhouse, I started to lose my vocation, left the seminary, gained life experience and, at the same time, made some really bad decisions, the kind that you cannot change.

See, for me, as I fear for you, is that I took the leave from the seminary as a type of freedom and I abused that "freedom" until I slowly came to grow into the idea of what the purpose and meaning of a seminary is. I will give you that there are a lot of horrible seminaries out there, and many that teach contrary to what the Church has taught. It will wear on you, because that is the way it is set up, they figure they will break you down and build you back up in their own image and likeness. Horrible? Yes. The truth? Unfortunately.

In light of this, I think a change in seminary may be more suitable for you, not because I don't believe God has called you to the married life, that is not for me to decide, but perhaps if you were to attend a seminary that loved the Church and sought to be the child of Mother Church rather than the Church Herself it may help you out a lot.

Further, you say how much you want to be married, date, and all the rest, I know that feeling well. However, sometimes we have a tendency of romanticizing those things that we most want to experience, the problem is that the majority of the time the fantasy is not the reality. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not accusing you of doing this, but if you are anything like I was when I was in the minor seminary, then I can somewhat relate to what you are going through.

Also, you are talking a lot about the desire to be married, and how much you miss female companionship, but are you entirely sure that its not the friendship with a woman that you miss, rather than the desire to be married?

See, what really worries me is that I hear a lot of the reasons I justified my leaving the seminary being the reasons for you justifying your own leaving. Sometimes we fall into the pitfall of believing that once we enter the seminary we are never to be near, know, or even speak to a woman ever again. Further, being surrounded by men day in and day out who sadly adopt a similar mentality makes the struggle that much more difficult. The problem, however, is that sometimes the chains that exist are the ones we have shackled oursleves with.

Like I said, I do not know what is going on in your prayer, nor whether you are content or feigning contentment at the seminary, and therefore I don't know exactly what it is you are going through. However, I would just encourage you to really stop for a moment, look around, and ask yourself if the desire to be married isn't the result of difficulties in prayer, and the lack of really experiencing intimacy with another. Intimacy, that is, in a pure sense, but intimacy nonetheless.

Again, I could be completely wrong about the entire thing, I just fear that some of the things that happened to me may happen to you as well.

Be assured that you are in my prayers.

God Bless

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote]Is changing vocation directors a viable option?[/quote]

Nope. There is only one for the diocese. But it's a different guy now. Also, canon law won't allow a sudden diocese-change.

[quote]Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your choice. Of course, guilt wouldn't be a good reason for you to become a priest at all, so be sure to point that out to those who make you feel guilty.[/quote]

[quote]Raphael, you said you feel tempted to continue priestly formation out of guilt. Guilt is NEVER a reason to become a priest. Remember, you can't please others -- only yourself and God.[/quote]

Beenie and Dave, guilt has no influence, it just makes things difficult. Guilt isn't a good reason to stay a priest.

[quote]Just as you discerned the priesthood, discern marriage as well and pray. Who knows? Maybe you'll have 5 sons who will be priests and 5 daughters who will be nuns.[/quote]

That would be a real blessing.



[quote]See, for me, as I fear for you, is that I took the leave from the seminary as a type of freedom and I abused that "freedom" until I slowly came to grow into the idea of what the purpose and meaning of a seminary is.[/quote]

No, that's not me. I'm one of those teenagers who acts like an old man. I realize that in leaving the seminary, I take on just as many responsibilities, just in a different area.

I do know the type of semmie that you're talking about, though...and it scares me...

[quote]Also, you are talking a lot about the desire to be married, and how much you miss female companionship, but are you entirely sure that its not the friendship with a woman that you miss, rather than the desire to be married?[/quote]

This is tough. I'm a teenager, so naturally, I can't be sure. However, I am sure that I have a respectful, Church-oriented view toward marriage (the Book of Tobit and the idea that marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His Bride play a major role in this). I am also sure that I have an attraction to women (read: I am a heterosexual male). But I have been advised that I can only tell that if I discern marriage from outside the seminary.

[quote]Sometimes we fall into the pitfall of believing that once we enter the seminary we are never to be near, know, or even speak to a woman ever again.[/quote]

LOL! There are virtually no women anywhere nearby...you've never been to Conception, MO, have you? LOL. The total population is the monastery, the seminary, and about five families...hahaha...

Sorry...I couldn't help but laugh. I did not believe that it was the feeling of being restricted from any women that got me. It was the feeling that I wanted to be married.

[quote]Like I said, I do not know what is going on in your prayer, nor whether you are content or feigning contentment at the seminary, and therefore I don't know exactly what it is you are going through. However, I would just encourage you to really stop for a moment, look around, and ask yourself if the desire to be married isn't the result of difficulties in prayer, and the lack of really experiencing intimacy with another.[/quote]

I offered the problem up at Mass and three times received consolation in receiving the Eucharist. I also spent the most prayerful hour of adoration I've ever had asking God about this and receiving consolations.

I do appreciate all your input, Theo. All of it.

[quote]Again, I could be completely wrong about the entire thing, I just fear that some of the things that happened to me may happen to you as well.[/quote]

I think these are pretty common feelings of those who honestly feel a call to marriage and those who just want to get out. The key is that I didn't receive any desolation about it, save the stress of discernment itself.

======================================================

I had my meeting with the Vocation Director of Omaha today. He was generally of the opinion that I had improved greatly over the year as far as my character went and that I had improved in other areas.

When I told him that I compared the notions of my life as a priest and my life as a husband and father, he paid the most careful attention. I told him that I analyzed the two and what came to me was the realization of what I like about each. What I like about married life was...well, a wife and kids. What I like about priesthood was social service, but the consecrating the Eucharist and granting Absolution didn't really excite me. I said that I had come to the conclusion that all the things I liked about the priesthood were things which were not exclusive to the priesthood. That I could be a husband and father and still do those things.

Then, telling me that I made a "mature decision," he advised that I take two years off from seminary to find my vocation. He thinks that my reasoning was rational and that I did well in my discernment.

Therefore, because of his advice, I have decided to withdraw from Priestly Formation, at least for the time being.

I thank you all for your prayers, advice, and support.