How Much Silence Can Young Adults Handle On A Retreat?

[Sister Rose Therese]

Hello everyone.

 

I'm working on the schedule for a discernment retreat.  One of the days of the retreat is our day of recollection, so we have silence all day until supper and we have Adoration from morning Mass until the end of Evening Prayer.

 

I am just wondering, is that too much silence for young adults to handle?  During the day the retreatants would be able to go on walks around the grounds, shoot hoops, and quiet activities in addition to Adoration.  I remember going on a silent retreat in college and loving it, but they may have had some talks during the day and I was rather quiet anyways. 

 

What do you think?  Should I have a talk or two during the day or would it be alright to leave it until evening?

 

Thanks for your input.

God bless.

[Kateri89]

I don't know but I'm going on a silent weekend retreat in April.  I'll have scheduled time to talk to the vocations director and the Sisters but otherwise it'll be nice and quiet.  Definitely a different experience.  I've never been silent for a weekend  :hehe2:

[the171]

Push the envelope. Don't expect too little. They want a challenge.

[marigold]

Push the envelope. Don't expect too little. They want a challenge.

 

Absolutely.

[Luigi]

A possible compromise - make reading material available. Each retreatant would read the material during the day (perhaps at a scheduled time?); they would all remain silent, but you'd still convey some information to them. And if they weren't sure what to DO in the silence, they could think about what they've just read. 

[TheresaThoma]

I have been on a two different types of retreats that involved silence. The first was a Come and See and they told us that we didn't have to be completely silent but that we should respect others silence. Towards the end of the day I ended up in a quiet conversation with a couple of the other girls which actually turned out to be wonderful it helped one girl to process through a few things. 

Another was a 3 day silent retreat using the Spiritual Excercises of St Ignatius. The silence was actually wonderful. A bit hard for the first couple of hours but afterwards it became an effort to talk.

I would say the silence can be very beneficial, how else are we to hear God? I sometimes think we can talk to eachother without really listening but by not talking we can "listen" and connect more with others.

My opinion is go with the silence, it sounds like you have activities so they don't feel like they are just sitting around doing nothing so honestly I think they might not even really notice the silence after a while (and that is a good thing).

[domenica_therese]

I would just make sure they have an opportunity or are required to speak with the vocation directress, different sisters in the community, etc. As TheresaThoma said, sometimes we need outside voices to help us sort through things in stillness. But sometimes the call comes more like a hurricane than a quiet wind during discernment retreats -- or even a quiet wind can appear a hurricane to the unaccustomed -- and so if there's no exterior vent one can become blown about too much in the storms of one's own psyche.

[nikita92]

Amen on that last one!! I was given a a few pages of spiritual exercises to work on.

[maximillion]

I agree with others. Maybe a compromise, that those who want to spend the day in silence should have that option, along with provision for the time to be broken up into periods of say, scheduled spiritual reading, Adoration, writing of a journal page(es) in reflective style, as well as absolutely no activity at all.

 

What I remember from retreat in my early days of experience with silence is that it was very un-nerving, and to have an opportunity for some focus if I needed it, helped me cross over into longer periods when I could be still, inactive (in terms of occupying my mind), and discover inner silence.

 

Becoming aware of one's mind chatter and constant urge to 'do' can be a bit shattering!

[marigold]

I agree with others. Maybe a compromise, that those who want to spend the day in silence should have that option, along with provision for the time to be broken up into periods of say, scheduled spiritual reading, Adoration, writing of a journal page(es) in reflective style, as well as absolutely no activity at all.

 

What I remember from retreat in my early days of experience with silence is that it was very un-nerving, and to have an opportunity for some focus if I needed it, helped me cross over into longer periods when I could be still, inactive (in terms of occupying my mind), and discover inner silence.

 

Becoming aware of one's mind chatter and constant urge to 'do' can be a bit shattering!

 

Yes. The first couple of times I went on retreat at monasteries, it was being left to my own devices in the silence that unnerved me, more than just silence, which I enjoy. I didn't feel at home enough to 'make myself at home'; it would have been nice if one of the sisters/brothers had even just mentioned where they could be found if I wanted to pop in and see them.

[Sister Rose Therese]

Hm. 

• How about the talk the night before be on meditation and prayer and
• we provide the retreatants with materials they can use in prayer, for spiritual reading. 
• We make sure we let them know what activities the can do during the day, walks, hoops, jig saw puzzle... 
• Allow them, or have them sign up for a half-hour talk with me or one of the other Sisters.  There will also be confessions that day.
• And have one room available where they can have a conversation with other retreatants and talk about their discernment and prayer. 
• We would have to encourage them to spend as much time as they can in silence and recollection.

Does that sound sufficient?

[let_go_let_God]

After reading your last post I would include a schedule. I know for myself and many youth and young adults I work with, if there is no structure to their silence they often loose track of what they ought to be doing. My suggestion would be in those times when you list the activities also list for what times they are able to do them. Also for shooting hoops, I don't know if that is really a silent activity if people want to start a pick-up game.

 

God bless-

LGLG

[marigold]

I think your ideas sound great - also seconding what LGLG says about timetabling. Even just "confessions are available between 12 and 3", something as broad as that, can be helpful.

[Guest Allie]

During my first silent retreat (was junior in High School), my retreat director taught me how to drive a stick shift.  Don't ask why :hehe2: .  It worked.

[TheresaThoma]

That sounds like a good plan, and having general time frames for stuff (one on one meetings, confessions etc) can provide "anchor" points in the time. On my second silent retreat at the end of my confession the priest (who was also the retreat director) asked if there was anything else on my heart I wanted to talk about. I didn't really have anything but I can see if something had come up in all that silence it would have been good to talk it out there.