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At A Fork In The Road


Lilllabettt

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talking this out with y'all I realize I don't mind the money so much. Many people my age carry 60 + thousand dollars of debt. It's called buying a house. For various reasons I don't think buying a house is part of my future (I prefer flexibility to get up and go wherever I need to) so maybe ... this is my "house? "

 

as far as religious life ... I was a Sister for a couple years, leaving was not my choice and it was a deeply painful experience. I am more than a little bit shy about trying again. It was very much like chopping off an arm. They do not grow back. And I only had 2 to begin with.

 

Lillabettt:

 

First of all kudos on the acceptance!  That is no small feat.

 

As someone who understands the having to figure out how to go on with life "as normal" after an experience in religious life I'm sorry that the decision that you need to make now is colored by it.  It is difficult until you're able to let go of the pain/etc. (I'm not sure if I'm wording it right ... I'm not there yet either).

 

The advice I could come up with is: go with your gut/heart.  Usually if we are with the Lord, and pray, and try to live life for Him, He knows our hearts desires, and I do think that He places good desires in the heart.  He's not a "mean God", so I don't think He'd allow the desire if it isn't for your good (now if we're in serious sin, that's a different story).

 

If your heart really is into the idea of the education (even though you applied "just in case") then pray, and if your heart's desire doesn't change GO DO IT.  It should bring on a sense of peace when you make up your mind to do so.

 

If your heart is not really into it, then don't do it.  Even if it makes logical sense to do so.  Again it should bring peace.

 

Case in point -- I had someone come to me, to tell me that she was short selling her house.  Her house is a $300k+ house.  She was short selling at $180 ... and it was work that much.  Intellectually speaking -- it made lots of sense to see if I could buy her house.  The house was better than my condo.  Beautiful.  But I couldn't. I couldn't explain it.  And one of her friends thought I was nuts for not having pursued it.  Well ... two months later things at work changed.  Now (about 4 months) it looks like I am moving to a different job location (either 50 miles away or 300, hopefully 300).    I am sooooo thankful that I didn't do it.  All I followed was what God was leading, and what my heart was saying.  I'm glad I did.

 

I would look at the one decision before you ... not add to it the turmoil of the call.  Why?  Because it really just adds a lot of confusion/hurt/turmoil.  Put it this way ... I would trust that the decision that you make will be the right one.  If you are called to pursue religious life, He will not lead you to make a decision that will adversely affect that.  Again -- the main sign is the peace that the decision will bring.

 

I will be praying for you ... besides tomorrow is St. Joseph's feast day and since this is work related, I'll include this in my own prayers,

 

I do hope this helps,

 

-- Cma

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. . . 

People say "live so you have no regrets," but easier said than done. If you were in my position, what would you do? Is a Harvard education "worth" it?

Living with regrets is harder than living with debt.

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talking this out with y'all I realize I don't mind the money so much. Many people my age carry 60 + thousand dollars of debt. It's called buying a house. For various reasons I don't think buying a house is part of my future (I prefer flexibility to get up and go wherever I need to) so maybe ... this is my "house? "

 

as far as religious life ... I was a Sister for a couple years, leaving was not my choice and it was a deeply painful experience. I am more than a little bit shy about trying again. It was very much like chopping off an arm. They do not grow back. And I only had 2 to begin with.

 

Errrgh.  I want you to go get this Master's degree and then also enter some nice, normal, orthodox-but-that-doesn't-mean-we-are-nuts-and-damaging convent.  The nunnies I hang around with, when one of the postulants discerned out the postulant community spent the day together having fun and reminisced and prayed and cried some too and she remains good friends with the community.  Why can't they all be like that? 

 

Of course I also want TT to be an Astronaut Nun and that desire (on my part, not particularly hers) may be shaped in no small part by the idea of a zero-gravity veil.  So clearly I am not to be trusted.

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Anastasia13

I saw a TV show recently where someone had to make a big decision. His friend pulled out a coin after they talked for a bit, and they agree, heads this option, tails that. Then the friend flipped the coin, caught it, held it to the other hand. He asked the lead which he hoped it would be. That was the choice that he went with.  You could, if all else fails, flip a coin, and ask yourself deep down inside, which do you want it to be.

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Anastasia13

Living with regrets is harder than living with debt.

 


Tell that to someone living in debt to the mafia.

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Nihil Obstat

I saw a TV show recently where someone had to make a big decision. His friend pulled out a coin after they talked for a bit, and they agree, heads this option, tails that. Then the friend flipped the coin, caught it, held it to the other hand. He asked the lead which he hoped it would be. That was the choice that he went with.  You could, if all else fails, flip a coin, and ask yourself deep down inside, which do you want it to be.

My friend and I used this one time. Worked like a charm. Facing the concept of letting actual randomness control your life, you are forced to be decisive. I like it. Very philosophical.

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  • 1 month later...
Lilllabettt

So I wanted to let y'all know. I'm going to Harvard, God help me.

(p.s. I actually did the coin flip thing,  it wasn't the deciding thing but it did help me get unglued ... so thanks)

Now all I need is a roommate. Anybody know anybody in Boston/Cambridge/Somerville etc?

Also, an ironic blast from the past:

 

 

Lilllabettt, on Jul 22 2009, 08:11 PM, said:snapback.png

 

Boo Harvard.

Yeah Yale.

That is all.

 

 

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So I wanted to let y'all know. I'm going to Harvard, God help me :


You're going to do great.
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Anastasia13

Congrats! You will do great things. God has great plans in mind for you.

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I've got a cousin there - one of those "all expenses paid because your grades are good even though you can't afford it" deals. 

 

But I don't think he'd room with you. 

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