Evangetholic Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Unfortunately my issues have broadened from authority. I need a citadel against theological liberalism and I'm not quite convinced that Catholicism 2013 is that citadel. There seems to be on the one hand an uncharitable kind of conservatism loose among some (shades of American Evangelicalism) and a set of recent Magisterial statements that are eerily similar to the liberalism of mainline Protestantism on the other hand. I also cannot see the Catholic unity of faith that has been advertised. Which church? The Church my grandmother fondly remembers from growing up in the thirties and forties? The Church that she "suffers" today? The Church every one of her eight of her nine children have abandoned? And I just plainly do not share the belief that the Catholic Church is everything it believes itself to be. I do not believe in men being saved by their sincerity or their morality. I do not think Catholics exhibit any extraordinary signs of God's favor absent among other Christians. I do not like speculative theology and anything not taught explicitly or implicitly by Scripture seems speculative to me. I do not believe that all the different Catholicisms I am presented with are reconcilable to one another. I ask anyone reading this to pray for me and to pray for the visible unity of all Christians; but I do not feel that returning to Catholicism would be honest, holy, or reasonable for me given my understanding of the Gospel and my beliefs about the roles of Scripture and Tradition. This has been surprisingly hard to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Honesty is good. It's better to be honest with your feelings than to move ahead with something that won't rest peacefully in your heart. I hope you'll stay here, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Evangetholic, I've read a lot of what you've written over the last few weeks. You have caught my eye; I am and will be praying hard for you. I know you are earnestly trying to find God and what God wants from you... and I know that God will come and gather you close to His heart. That kind of longing is irresistible to God... I agree with Missy and BG that sometimes it can be hard to 'feel' assent to all the Church teaches, or even to a more close following of Christ.... all too often we can see the warts on the face of the Church.... and feel that there couldn't be anything worthwhile inside of Her. I'd bet almost every one of us at one point or another struggled with something or another that the Church teaches... or that we have seen done or not done by her members. It's moments like that when I remind myself that we are all sinners striving to find God, and that God does and will give us the graces we seek. It doesn't mean that it won't be hard, and it doesn't mean that there aren't days when I am tempted to toss it all out.... but a temptation is NOT the same as giving in to that temptation. Advance as close to God as you can and He will come the rest of the way for you. And we will be and are praying for you. I've always loved that St. Ignatius Loyola suggested that it is important always to be honest with God, that it is OK to tell God you are struggling with something... He suggested that you do the best you can to work through it from your side... and have faith and trust that God in His Love will do the rest. Ignatius also reminds us that we can always pray for the 'desire to desire' to do something... and if you would like to pray for the grace to come to the Church if it would please God, I bet that prayer would be honored... and only God knows in what way. I'm also reminded of Bl. Charles de Foucault, who had been away from the Church for many years, and had lived a very dissolute life. His godmother encouraged him to go talk to a particular priest (and I bet she'd warned the priest that Chrles might be coming to talk...!) When Charles tried to just set up an appt with him, Father would have none of it... told him to just make his confession right then. Charles wasn't so sure, but father said, just go through with it and faith will come as you do it. After he forgave him , he asked if he was fasting (at that time, the pre-communion fast was from after midnight). Charles said, yes, but he just wasn't sure he was ready for communion...but Father told him to just go to communion and let God worry about the doubts he felt... that Charles was assenting with his mind and his will, not his feelings. And Charles did as he was told. That day Charles fell back in love with God.... and that love never went away until he ultimately died a martyr's death. Powerful patron. I'm asking him to pray for you..... God bless you, Evangetholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Oh and one other thing.... sometimes you have to seek out the right faith community even within the Church. Look around for a Parish that has the pieces you need. There are parishes that would provide what you seek... I'm sure of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangetholic Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 "if you would like to pray for the grace to come to the Church if it would please God, I bet that prayer would be honored" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangetholic Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Might my problem be that I won't have another pope than me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Well... think of all the work you will save yourself. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangetholic Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 I disown my "right" to not be Catholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 still praying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Just saw what you put on the Mary/Modesty thread. So glad God is working in your heart, brother. I tend to think that St. Ignatius and Bl. Charles had a little hand in it too.... and a whole herd of Phatmassers who have been praying for you. Found a really good book on Bl. Charles... with a click here for a preview link. Search Amazon for Charles de Foucault and author J. Antier do a search for 'confession' and check out page 100.... I also feel drawn to share Bl. Charles' prayer for abandonment to God with you... "My Father, I abandon myself to you, Make of me what you will. Whatever you ask of me, I thank you, I am ready for everything, I accept everything. Provided that your will be done in me. In all your creatures, I desire nothing else, Lord, I put my soul in your hands, I give it to you, Lord, With all the love in my heart, Because I love you. And because it is for me a need of love To give myself, to put myself in your hands unreservedly, With inifite trust. For you are my Father." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysisterisalittlesister Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Just saw what you put on the Mary/Modesty thread. So glad God is working in your heart, brother. I tend to think that St. Ignatius and Bl. Charles had a little hand in it too.... and a whole herd of Phatmassers who have been praying for you. Found a really good book on Bl. Charles... with a click here for a preview link. Search Amazon for Charles de Foucault and author J. Antier do a search for 'confession' and check out page 100.... I also feel drawn to share Bl. Charles' prayer for abandonment to God with you... "My Father, I abandon myself to you, Make of me what you will. Whatever you ask of me, I thank you, I am ready for everything, I accept everything. Provided that your will be done in me. In all your creatures, I desire nothing else, Lord, I put my soul in your hands, I give it to you, Lord, With all the love in my heart, Because I love you. And because it is for me a need of love To give myself, to put myself in your hands unreservedly, With inifite trust. For you are my Father." I love that prayer! It's my morning offering :) Praying for you, Evangetholic! :pray: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangetholic Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 "My Father, I abandon myself to you, Make of me what you will. Whatever you ask of me, I thank you, I am ready for everything, I accept everything. Provided that your will be done in me. In all your creatures, I desire nothing else, Lord, I put my soul in your hands, I give it to you, Lord, With all the love in my heart, Because I love you. And because it is for me a need of love To give myself, to put myself in your hands unreservedly, With inifite trust. For you are my Father." I love this prayer. I will try to make a practice of saying it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Evangetholic, I've read a lot of what you've written over the last few weeks. You have caught my eye; I am and will be praying hard for you. .... God bless you, Evangetholic. Ladies and gentlemen, AnneLine and her charism. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 :paperbag: hush! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangetholic Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 Will be making my first (Catholic) Confession in years. Not sure whether or not I will receive communion, but Father thinks I should (yes, it's 5:30 AM and I've already called my priest--even as a Protestant I was one of those). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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