"i Feel Called To..."—no, You Don't!

[Gabriela]

Am I just being judgmental, or do some people use this phrase as a way to discourage objections to their behavior? I've seen people saying they feel "called" to the most ridiculous things. But since they claim God is "calling" them to it, who's going to have the audacity to say, "I don't think that's a 'call'. I think it's just your personal preference."

 

I think we ought to be careful about how we employ such terminology, so as not to use God as a defense mechanism for our personal whims. Discerning a "call" to anything involves a great deal more time, sensitivity, and prayer than does simply establishing what you do or don't feel like doing.

 

Is this phrase sometimes overused, in your opinions?

[Sister Marie]

Could you give an example of what you mean?  Thanks!

 

(I don't mean this in a combative way but I just want to clarify that what I'm "hearing" is what you mean! :) )

[Annie12]

I agree with you but I also think that they may use that language to give themselves a bit of freedom, so that they do not have to feel committed to anything.

[Gabriela]

Could you give an example of what you mean?  Thanks!

 

(I don't mean this in a combative way but I just want to clarify that what I'm "hearing" is what you mean! :) )

 

"I feel called to wear pants, because..."

 

"I feel called to receive in the hand, because..."

 

"I feel called to hold hands during the Our Father, because..."

 

I think there's a difference between reasoning out your own views on a thing, and making a choice one way or another as a result, and actually getting "a call from God" to do something.

I agree with you but I also think that they may use that language to give themselves a bit of freedom, so that they do not have to feel committed to anything.

 

What do you mean? You'd think that, if a person claims a call from God to a thing, they'd display that much more commitment. It seems to me that the term is used to excuse behavior without having to undergo the usual social questioning and justification that we're all subject to when explaining our preferences.

 

Or do you mean that some people claim a "call" so that, when they change their minds and start doing something else, they can just say, "I feel God is calling me to this now..." You mean people use it to explain (or rather, NOT explain) whimsical changes of fancy?

[Kateri89]

Ahhh my post didn't make it after I typed it all out :( oh well. The gist of it was that any vocation, or "calling", requires a certain amount of self-denial. A parent does this for their children, a religious does this for souls, etc. When people casually toss out the phrase in reference to something they like or are good at as opposed to something they have prayed a lot about, it's not only potentially untrue but also, I would imagine, offensive to God. Just my thoughts.

I see that you mean this in reference not to vocations but smaller matters. In that case, I still agree with you. :)

[Sister Marie]

I would tend to agree curiousing; however, I also feel that I cannot completely agree because I cannot ever completely know what is in another person's heart. 

 

Recently, I had an experience where I truly had to say to someone "God has given me the grace that I know that in this situation I must do____" even though it was not the status quo.  It could have been interpreted a number of ways; as a benefit to myself, as trying to get on the good side of authority, as an attempt at seeming "holier" than I am (Unfortunately...I'm not at all!!).. but at the same time, regardless of those possible misinterpretations of my statement, which was comparable to "I feel called to...", I had to follow my conscience and the spiritual insight I truly believe, after prayerful discernment, was the work of God in my heart.

 

At the same time, I know that sisters in my own personal situation DO NOT have the same call I have in this and I DO NOT expect them to.  It has little to do with holiness and a lot more to do with my own sinfulness and need for God's mercy and for penance in my own life.  They may have been free to do what was expected in the situation and have it be the way of holiness for them because they are already at the point where their decisions are just as "in line" with God's will as mine is. 

 

I think it is really hard to say when one is truly following the will of God unless the one evaluating that is the person and their spiritual director.  When my spiritual director agreed that my "call" was authentic in this situation I felt that it was correct to act upon it regardless of the feelings of others.  Without the affirmation of another "spiritual authority" however I would doubt the experience of being called in a case like my own.

 

I hope that made sense.  I don't want to go into particulars but I do think this is an extremely complex and interesting topic!  I'm happy you started it curiousing!!

[Kateri89]

I should also add that I agree with Sister Marie. We aren't privy to the conversations others have with God so we can't judge their sincerity. I do think however, that there's a difference between a calling and simple guidance from Christ. For instance, if someone feels after much prayer and reflection that they should receive communion kneeling, I would say that this is our Lord guiding their conscience but I wouldn't describe it as a calling. To me, a calling is a lifestyle, i.e. a career, religious vocation, etc. Hope that clarifies my opinion better!

[Gabriela]

I agree with Sister Marie as well. we cant know what God says to others or whats in their heart. but i sometimes think that the word "calling" is thrown about carelessly, either because the person is inarticulate and so cant find a more appropriate term to use, or because the person misunderstands the seriousness of call, or because the person is attempting to deflect objection by "pulling the 'God told me to' card". if someone said, "i feel called to have lunch at McDonald's today," i think we'd all agree that somethings wrong there. (and not just because McDonald's is evil. ;-)

 

i started the thread just to find out if others have noticed this phenomenon, and to see whether anyone would like to discuss how we ought to use the word 'call', and how we ought not to use it.

[Sister Marie]

I agree with Sister Marie as well. we cant know what God says to others or whats in their heart. but i sometimes think that the word "calling" is thrown about carelessly, either because the person is inarticulate and so cant find a more appropriate term to use, or because the person misunderstands the seriousness of call, or because the person is attempting to deflect objection by "pulling the 'God told me to' card". if someone said, "i feel called to have lunch at McDonald's today," i think we'd all agree that somethings wrong there. (and not just because McDonald's is evil. ;-)

 

i started the thread just to find out if others have noticed this phenomenon, and to see whether anyone would like to discuss how we ought to use the word 'call', and how we ought not to use it.

 

I would agree that sometimes the term is misused but I think it is misused by people in a way that supports something they wish to do for God - which is not necessarily bad

 

I think it becomes problematic when; the person expects others to be called the same way, the person is unable to explain their reasoning to legitimate authorities, when the person expresses this "calling" imprudently.  A calling from God that is personal is deeply private.  It is not necessarily the same call to someone else even in the same situation.  I am not saying it cannot be talked about, but I think it needs to be in the proper context of spiritual direction, religious obedience (whether to the Church or to a religious congregation), or spiritual discussion within a spiritual friendship.  Otherwise though, even against one's own desire, it has the capability of becoming a statement of right v. wrong instead of a personal "call" from God v. the "norm" of behavior.

 

The sisters who are in a similar situation as I am in right now - I haven't shared with them my own discernment because it isn't an issue or moral right or wrong... its an issue of what is good for the salvation of my soul.  We are all in such different places to respond to the same situation that I know God will guide them in the way they are "called" to act.

 

Of course, I am not speaking about moral issues of which there are black and white rights and wrongs, but of personal situations that lie within the gray areas of human experience.

 

I hope that makes further sense!  :)

[ChristinaTherese]

Or maybe you were talking about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-88O5dyU08

[Gabriela]

Or maybe you were talking about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-88O5dyU08

EXACTLY.

[ChristinaTherese]

By the way, I'd also tend to agree (on a more reasonable note than that video) with what Sr. Marie wrote above. But it still illustrates your point.

[Gabriela]

BTW: I wish my students were half as articulate as that kid.

 

Oh, and: Eww.

[nikita92]

I personally don't know anyone....only have seen that statement used on here.