Mary+Immaculate<3 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Okay, I don't have time to read everyone's (undoubtedly wise and well-stated) posts, but here's my two cents. Everyone was made in the image of God, and marriage, as well as the marital act, is a symbol of the Trinity. The love of the Father for the Son, and vice versa, is the essence of the Holy Spirit. So too the love between the father and mother is made manifest in a new, sacred life, a new soul. That is what the sanctity of sex is about. Because humans have sexual desires naturally, it is no sin or thing unnatural to have sexual desires while discerning. Of course, God may grant special grace to certain persons to not experience these/have less mild ones, especially if the person has trouble with temptation/lust. There shouldn't be a need to have combat wig your own body/emotions, but there needs to be a method of channeling these desires to something holy and reverent. For example, you interact with someone of the opposite sex, and you feel drawn to them because of their personality, and you have strong emotions about them. You can use this as a way of be coming closer to God by thanking Him for creating someone so special and attractive to you, and then praying for the person and asking God to bless them and let His will be done in this person's life, praying for their future spouse/vocation, etc. If you truly believe you are drawn to religious life, then these efforts of purity and self-denial will be fruitful because it is God's will for you to be His in consecrated life. And always remember this, even the most pure, chaste, and humble saints experienced temptation, some particularly sexual temptation. The difference between a sant and a sinner is that saints chose God's will instead if their own. Hope this helps, but this couldn't have been written without the Hol Ghost's inspiration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 If I am discerning and I start to like a guy, lets say, and we fall in love. Would this be me falling into temptation or does it indicate God has allowed this to happen because it aligns with his will? I'm just worried that if I fall in love, unintentionally, that I will have to force myself to fall out of love because I want to do Gods will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax_et bonum Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 If you read All American Girl by Fr. Lord, you'll see that the young woman who wanted to enter Carmel met the perfect Catholic guy and fell in love, but she still wrote, "Father, I was meant for Carmel." This is just an example and is by no means a rule, but you might like to read her story--which is a true story, I believe. Don't worry so much; trust God that if you are sincerely trying to follow His will, He will not lead you astray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitpèlerin Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 To be very honest, the only men I find really attractive are religious men. I mean, sure, I can find a lay man attractive, but I don't have a desire to be his girlfriend, because that leads to marriage, and I'm just not sure marriage is for me. Far more often, I find myself attracted to religious men, and I think the reason why is that they have the same vocation I do: to be wholly devoted to God, and that just resonates with me. So, when it happens, it's just another sign that my desire is really for God, and I remember that, at the deepest level, I'd rather have men as brothers, serving God together, than have one as a husband. I also like to remember the story of St Francis: when he experienced the temptation to desire a woman to love, he went out and made a woman out of snow, and then a bunch of children, which would naturally result, to remind himself that if he had a wife then he would have to provide for her and their children, and would not be able to be as wholly devoted to God as he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carmenchristi Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Have you been on retreat recently? If not it sounds like it's time for you to make a good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 NO I haven't been on a retreat. I'm still waiting to hear from the sisters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitpèlerin Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 A couple years ago I actually got to know a guy who I thought was really cute (and had a great personality), and we became friends, but I was thinking, wow if I was called to marriage, I would love to go out with him... and lo and behold, a year later he became a Dominican. XD And I find him even more attractive now in his habit, but as a brother obviously. Wow. Great story. I've heard so many little stories about people who dated each other only to break up (amicably) when one pursued a higher calling, and in the end the other did too. Which makes me wonder if it's common for people with religious vocations to be drawn to each other when they're young and before they have the whole vocation thing sorted out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Which makes me wonder if it's common for people with religious vocations to be drawn to each other when they're young and before they have the whole vocation thing sorted out. I think it is. This guy I had a crush on told me I reminded him of St. Therese of Lisieux, he is now in the seminary! I have four friends in fact now in the seminary, and one of them is being ordained in May. I do connect with guys who are discerning, in ways that I do not with those who are not, they have become my brothers in Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose! I have been through this stage, because God showed up in my life, at a time when I was not looking for him, and began to pursue me. The best thing is not to worry, just take your time, and pray, that God will lead you where he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Spinelli Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 This is a struggle for me as well, as I am a very affectionate person, and can be led astray sometimes (although not TOO far!!!) by a little bit of physical affection. I'm trying to stay focused on my discernment, but it is difficult. Any prayers you guys like to use when these moments arise? Also would you advise that we stay away from physical affection (hugging, cuddling, etc. NOT sex or making out!!) ?? Not sure how to handle this sometimes, and I guess you guys may have been doing this longer than I. :) God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) sorry - double post! Edited February 8, 2013 by Annie12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 I AM SO HAPPY! I'm OVER MY TEMPTATION!!!! I had an AMAZING day! Mass, confession (yay! for confession!), AND the Sisters got back to me!!!! YAY!!!! I'm gonna set up a phone appointment! I'm SO excited right now! I was still struggling with this temptation really bad until last night when I was watching a video and it showed scenes from the passion of the Christ. When they got to the Scene when they were driving the nail through Jesus' hand, I fell in love all over again! It was a total grace! I realized how much God loves me and I just couldn't live with myself if I chose myself over God. :saint2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose! Annie, everything you are describing is normal! When someone says "I am discerning religious life" that is not the same as saying "I am called to religious life." It means you are figuring things out. Many women spend years in the convent or monastery, even taking temporary vows, and then discern out. Others marry, raise families and then after being widowed discern a call to religious life. Truly discernment is a lifetime journey. God wants your future but most of all He wants your today, so just focus on discerning what His will for this day is. Not substituting your will for His but simply being still and listening for his voice in your heart. God sees everything you are going through and loves you! Your sincere, eager desire for God's will is pleasing to Him, probably even more so than making the "right" decision would be. If you keep that as your focus, you will be bear much fruit for the kingdom of God, no matter what path you take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) I AM SO HAPPY! I'm OVER MY TEMPTATION!!!! I had an AMAZING day! Mass,confession (yay! for confession!), AND the Sisters got back to me!!!! YAY!!!! I'm gonna set up a phone appointment! I'm SO excited right now! I was still struggling with this temptation really bad until last night when I was watching a video and it showed scenes from the passion of the Christ. When they got to the Scene when they were driving the nail through Jesus' hand, I fell in love all over again! It was a total grace! I realized how much God loves me and I just couldn't live with myself if I chose myself over God. :saint2: I learnt something at an inner healing retreat I went too, that every time you confess a sin, it opens up a pathway in your life, to be blessed in that area. This is why pray and confession are important, to experience breakthrough and freedom. Edited February 8, 2013 by savvy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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