Reconciling Personal Beliefs With Church Teaching

[TheresaThoma]

Ok I kinda skimmed the thread and I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. 

I've spent almostthree years in the RCIA program at my parish (one year when I was coming into the Church and now almost 2 years as a sponsor).  I just want to assure you that what you are going through as a revert is totally normal. Coming back to the faith is rarely easy. There are going to be issues that each individual struggles with. The first step in dealing with them is to figure out what they are for you and be willing to learn more about/work on them. The thing to remember is you don't have to have everything figured out before you can come back to the Church. You can have a couple unresolved questions/issues, you just need to be willing to be open to working through those issues.

Learn the "why?" behind the Church's teaching not just the "what".  I think you have already seen that a little bit with the whole contraception vs NFP thing. (BTW we discuss NFP in our RCIA course and the practictioners say that many guys really get into the whole charting thing, it allows them to be part of it which is kind of the whole point that you do it as a couple, but I digress).

Personally I had issues with certain teachings and on certain ones it took me MONTHS to really learn the "why" behind those teachings. As I learned more the teaching made more sense. But I will say I still struggle with how to implement those teachings in my own life, but I am trusting that will come with time.

So I guess my point is it is ok to question certain teachings but don't just stop there, delve into the "why" seek out the answers. And pray, that is the biggest thing you can do, pray and then pray some more.

I'll be praying for you as you make this journey!

[dUSt]

 

It sounds like you should stop trying to conform God to yourself, and start trying to conform yourself to God.

[AnneLine]

zabbazooey,

 

Only have a second, and just skimmed the thread.  Several thoughts....

 

1)   I'm awed by the way you are letting grace work on you.  Keep on asking the questions and digging deep into God's Heart for the answers.   DO go to Mass and spend time with the Blessed Sacrament.   I think moving into the spare bedroom is a real act of moving toward God... one step at a time.  (others may disagree).  

 

2)  I'm awed that you & your fiance have had that NFP talk.  If you haven't already gone there, go to the 'raising small humans' thread (it's password protected, but I think you are over the age limit?) and ask your questions.  The people in there know a LOT about all the NFP forms, and some are even willing to help by email, skype, etc.   Or perhaps could connect you with someone in your area.   There is a LOT to recommend NFP... and by no means just for contraception. 

 

3)  As I read your struggles toward belief, I remembered something St. Ignatius says in his Spiritual Exercises:   Be honest, and don't fake that you will do something if you won't.  BUT you can ALWAYS ask for the grace to desire to desire something.  So... if you would like to have the grace to want to change your beliefs if they are wrong.... ask for it.   Just talk to God about what is bothering you.  Look for a good RCIA program... and maybe even a good Landings program (some of those are better than others)... and know that I and many if not most on here will pray for you.  HARD. 

 

One other thing:  My mom came back to the Church after over 40 years... and I know her journey back was really tough.... and I'm pretty sure she did a lot of 'faking it till she made it' in her first steps back.   No one was more surprised than I was when she told me she was coming back!!!!  

 

She left me a journal that I found after her death, and in it she wrote about how much it had meant to her to come back to the Church after so long... and how much it meant to her to receive communion and the other sacraments as she was dealing with her terminal illness.   And I can tell you it was huge for me to share the sacraments with her in the last few years of her life.  I'd love to know we could connect in the Eucharist... and pray that it will be soon.   In the meantime, keep begging for the graces, and keep talking to us.  We love you and want you to be happy in God's arms....