EmilyAnn Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 So today I went to study in the library for a while with an old friend. We used to be housemates but she left due to some...personal problems. She's a nice person but she is...troubled. She's gotten a lot better recently, but I still feel like she's a toxic person to have in my life. We've been friends since literally the first day of college though so I feel guilty cutting her off. We don't spend a huge amount of time together but every time we do I end up angry at her. She has always seemed to enjoy putting me down at every opportunity and I'm no longer in a place where I'm willing to put up with that. But I've let her treat me like that for so long that now I try stand up for myself she just gets annoyed and acts like I'm getting upset about nothing. Today she made some really offensive snide comments about my relationship with my boyfriend and then tried to pass it off as "teasing" when I got upset with her. I was talking to my housemate about it and she just said "why do you keep doing this to yourself?" My mom has been saying the same thing for over a year. I don't know why to be honest. I guess I just feel bad. We've known each other for so long and we used to be close. She doesn't have many friends at college anymore, she lives alone, whereas I have my friends and my housemates. But at the same time I don't really want to feel guilted into spending time with her, especially since she always ends up upsetting me. Argh. I'm just so frustrated with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Also, while I am not one to question the good Lord's creation, sometimes I do just wonder why He made all those critters with more than four legs. Especially certain eight-legged little *&"#$%^, one of which is currently preventing me from going into my bathroom because it scares the croutons out of me and everyone else is asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 So today I went to study in the library for a while with an old friend. We used to be housemates but she left due to some...personal problems. She's a nice person but she is...troubled. She's gotten a lot better recently, but I still feel like she's a toxic person to have in my life. We've been friends since literally the first day of college though so I feel guilty cutting her off. We don't spend a huge amount of time together but every time we do I end up angry at her. She has always seemed to enjoy putting me down at every opportunity and I'm no longer in a place where I'm willing to put up with that. But I've let her treat me like that for so long that now I try stand up for myself she just gets annoyed and acts like I'm getting upset about nothing. Today she made some really offensive snide comments about my relationship with my boyfriend and then tried to pass it off as "teasing" when I got upset with her. I was talking to my housemate about it and she just said "why do you keep doing this to yourself?" My mom has been saying the same thing for over a year. I don't know why to be honest. I guess I just feel bad. We've known each other for so long and we used to be close. She doesn't have many friends at college anymore, she lives alone, whereas I have my friends and my housemates. But at the same time I don't really want to feel guilted into spending time with her, especially since she always ends up upsetting me. Argh. I'm just so frustrated with it. I never know what to do with stuff like that. Part of me always screams "kill her with kindness!!!" lololol but the other part of me wonders about if giving it up is part of the loving yourself required in loving your neighbor as yourself. I honestly don't know and I'm sorry if I confused you even more. I'll be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 I never know what to do with stuff like that. Part of me always screams "kill her with kindness!!!" lololol but the other part of me wonders about if giving it up is part of the loving yourself required in loving your neighbor as yourself. I honestly don't know and I'm sorry if I confused you even more. I'll be praying for you. Me neither. And she can be a nice person, she can just also be completely toxic. She seems to think it's okay to say things that upset me and then make it okay by saying she's "joking" and that I need to "stop taking things so seriously". Thanks brian :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Today has surfaced without any drama llamas! I'm quite amazed, but my friends seem to be handling their problems on their own today. The draft of my dissertation is due in just four days. I'm going kind of crazy worrying about it. It'll be fine...it'll be fine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Today has surfaced without any drama llamas! I'm quite amazed, but my friends seem to be handling their problems on their own today. The draft of my dissertation is due in just four days. I'm going kind of crazy worrying about it. It'll be fine...it'll be fine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) The drama llama thing is really hard, EmilyAnn.... If you can love her and live with her, that's a wonderful thing to do... but sometimes and in certain situations, I think it is just too much. I can usually tell when it is too much for me when I start turning mean and sarcastic back (and yes, I can and do get there more than i want to admit....) When I realize that grumpy, angry AnneLine is starting to peek out, I realize I've let something go on too long.... and I need to go back to where I am feeling comfortable and self-cared-for.... So... if you can, try to figure out where your own boundary is and make sure it gets enforced. I've also fund it really helpful to get someone ELSE to pray for that person... someone totally outside the situation so they have no grumpiness infecting their prayers. You can offer to pray for one of THEIR llamas in exchange for their care of your pet llama.... Edited February 9, 2013 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 I hate statistics. And believe me it takes a lot for me to say that because normally stats are totally my thing. I'm just at that point where I've been staring at a screen full of numbers for so long that my head hurts. But at least one of my effects is showing significant results so that's awe.some because I was convinced it would all go wrong. My boyfriend has been away visiting friend from his old college (he transferred last year after realising he hated the subject he was doing) so I haven't been able to talk to him much, which probably puts me in more of a grump than it should do. It's an extra hour time difference (a whole 11 now!) which makes things tricky. But with all the work I have to do it's probably a good thing really. Grumpy, angry EmilyAnn is definitely coming with some of the drama llamas. With one friend I did just stop sugar-coating and was straight with her. I'm not sure if it was helpful or not because she now hasn't spoken to me in a few days, but then again I haven't tried talking to her either because she's been so busy. On a happier note, I am painting my nails glittery blue to cheer myself up a little before getting to work for the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartermia Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) In the UK their minds are twisted and they call cookies biscuits, even though that's totally messed up. British people don't have messed up minds :o !!! That's the prime reason I turned down a scholarship to grad school at Univ. of Kentucky. How could you ever turn down a scholarship at UK (Univ. of Kentucky) !?! That is a once in a lifetime thing! You probably could have met some famous baskteball people.... 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:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBhQSEBQUExQVFRUVFRUYFRcXFRUVGBUVFxQVFBQXFxQXHCcfGBkkGRUUHy8gIycpLCwsFx4xNTAqNSYrLCkBCQoKDgwOGg8PGiwkHyQpLywsKSwsLCwsLC0pLCwsLCksLCwsLCwsLCwsKSksLCwpLCwsKSwsLCwsLCwsKSwpLPFJJA4JBBJQORCSSAoopIEEUkkBCckkgekkkg/9k= Edited February 9, 2013 by cartermia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) I hate statistics. And believe me it takes a lot for me to say that because normally stats are totally my thing. I'm just at that point where I've been staring at a screen full of numbers for so long that my head hurts. But at least one of my effects is showing significant results so that's awe.some because I was convinced it would all go wrong. Congratulations! That's awesome!!!! :winner: My boyfriend has been away visiting friend from his old college (he transferred last year after realising he hated the subject he was doing) so I haven't been able to talk to him much, which probably puts me in more of a grump than it should do. It's an extra hour time difference (a whole 11 now!) which makes things tricky. But with all the work I have to do it's probably a good thing really. That is so tough, EmilyAnn!!!!! But you can make it work... and it won't be forever... Grumpy, angry EmilyAnn is definitely coming with some of the drama llamas. With one friend I did just stop sugar-coating and was straight with her. I'm not sure if it was helpful or not because she now hasn't spoken to me in a few days, but then again I haven't tried talking to her either because she's been so busy. I had a wise person once tell me this, and I've found it invaluable on this one: "You cannot defend a boundary and keep people happy at the same time. SO.... do what you need to do and let them worry about their own happiness. " I've found it goodwords to live by... Blue nails, huh? Just so long as it doesn't mean you are cold, it works for me.... ;) And if you ARE that cold, go get a cuppa and a biscuit! Edited February 9, 2013 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 British people don't have messed up minds :o !!! Thank you Carter! It's a bit hypocritcal to say we have messed up minds when it's Americans who are mutilating our language. :P Congratulations! That's awesome!!!! :winner: That is so tough, EmilyAnn!!!!! But you can make it work... and it won't be forever... I had a wise person once tell me this, and I've found it invaluable on this one: "You cannot defend a boundary and keep people happy at the same time. SO.... do what you need to do and let them worry about their own happiness. " I've found it goodwords to live by... Blue nails, huh? Just so long as it doesn't mean you are cold, it works for me.... ;) And if you ARE that cold, go get a cuppa and a biscuit! I was soooo pleased. Not all my effects are significant, but that's okay. It kind of supports my hypothesis anyway. That is good actually. I am just a people-pleaser, I don't like having to be blunt with people. I'm going to go get some tea now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 I had both tea and biscuits today. Jammy Dodgers were only 50p...how could I resist? I made up for it by buying only healthy things other than that. Rice cakes...yum! I didn't get as much work done as I wanted to but...biscuits. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 :woot: Like a week late but the happiest news I've had all year...Fall Out Boy are releasing a new album. I've been listening to their new single and going all fangirl. I haven't been this excited about music since the last Red Hot Chili Peppers album. I can't wait for the album in May. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkIWmsP3c_s Work is less fun. I'm not progressing nearly as quickly as I want to be. I've got some kind of a block. So I might go take my laptop downstairs in the hope that a change of scenery helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountrySteve21 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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