Courting Vs. Dating

[Era Might]

Traditional courting is outdated and does not mesh with how people live any longer. The idea that women need to be under protection, either from their families or from their spouse no longer holds. Asking a woman's parents if she is free to court is incredibly sexist and wouldn't be welcomed by anyone that I know. Having chaperoned meetings undermines the autonomy of both members of the relationship.

 

 

People do not stop changing as adults. Five years into a marriage is a long time, and you have no idea of knowing how you are going to change in 5 years. I think the whole "romantic" angle of modern relationships is overdone. Whatever age you get married, there is going to come a time when you have to put your head down and accept the choice you made, and move forward with it, even if with hindsight you would have chosen a different spouse, or wouldn't have gotten married.

 

We are an individualist society, so you are correct that the idea that everything is NOT about you does not mesh with people anymore. But that has also created a society where people smoke for 50 years and then sue the tobacco companies for damages. Nobody knows what to do when life doesn't go their way, and that is true in marriage. We're all entitled to our soul mate, supposedly. But marriage is a lot more messy than that...it's not easy waking up next to the same person every day for the rest of your life.

 

Personally, I think we need less romance and more realism. You are not autonomous. When you get married, someone has to go to work every day to make money, someone has to change diapers, someone has to make dinner. And people get into all this with romantic nonsense in their head...it's not a good recipe, IMO. There is something to be said for other social structures where marriage is not a romantic individual choice.

Edited January 27, 2013 by Era Might