My Cloister Experience And The Next Step.

[OnlySunshine]

Thanks for your prayers. I do not know why this discernment process is so hard. I am waiting to hear back from the Jerusalem sisters. What if God does not want me in religious life? I mean, I would have found have found a place by now. Has anybody else been through a similar struggle.

 

 

 

 

I think most, if not all, discerning go through this at some stage in their discernment.  I've been through it several times -- most recently in the last month when the order I had applied to told me I wasn't accepted.  However, a few days later I realized that the desire in my heart never disappeared and I could not give up, no matter how difficult it was.  NO ONE is worthy to receive the call, but just imagine if no one did!  There would not be a valuable witness to the world of Christ's love and mercy!  This is the time for courage.  Ask God to help you push through this time of uncertainty.  I read a very insightful meditation yesterday that I needed to read and I think it applies here for your situation:

 

 

Do whatever he tells you. -- John 2:5

 

Can we really change God's mind?  Well, maybe.  Let's take a look at a few stories from Scripture where poeple appear to do just this.

 

Matthew tells of a Canaanite women who asks Jesus to help her daughter (Matthew 15:21-28).  At first, Jesus wasn't very accommodating.  But this woman would not be denied.  Ultimately, her persistance paid off, and Jesus gave her what she asked for.  And who can forget the way Moses convinced God not to destroy the Israelites after they had committed idolatry with the golden calf (Exodus 32:1-14)?

 

Today's Gospel is another example.  When Mary asked Jesus to resolve an embarrassing predicament at a wedding reception, he first told her, "My hour has not yet come" (John 2:4).  But then he went ahead and turned jars of water into choice wine, just as she asked him to do.

 

What's more, Scripture tells us, "The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful" (James 5:16).  It is fervent prayer that influences God.  It's faith that moves mountains.  So it seems that we really can influence God.

 

Of course, we still have to deal with the question of why some of our prayer appear to go unanswered -- even our fervent, faith-filled pleas for help.  Here is where we come face-to-face with the mystery of God's will and his wisdom.  God knows what is best, and there are times when we simply have to trust him, as a child trusts its father.

 

This is what makes Mary's response so important for us: "Do whatever he tells you."  If you are trying your best to be right with God and if you are persistent in asking for something in prayer, God will hear you.  You have done all you can do, and now you can leave it in God's hands, surrendering like Mary, committed to doing "whatever he tells you."

 

http://www.wau.org/

Edited January 21, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae

[savvy]

MaterMisericordiae,

Thank you for sharing that. Reminds me of yesterday's sermon at Mass. We bring God our water, and he turns it into the best wine. 

 

 

 

[organwerke]

Thanks for your prayers. I do not know why this discernment process is so hard. I am waiting to hear back from the Jerusalem sisters. What if God does not want me in religious life? I mean, I would have found have found a place by now. Has anybody else been through a similar struggle.

 

 

 

 

Dear savvy, I wouldn't be so sad: you seem to be quite sure about how you feel with the Community of Jeruslem.

You could tell the sisters you tried to do as they suggested but you couldn't feel at home with the other communities as you did with them. I think they could take you in consideration...even if they are "faster" I think this would be a very little reason to refuse you.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Thanks for your prayers. I do not know why this discernment process is so hard. I am waiting to hear back from the Jerusalem sisters. What if God does not want me in religious life? I mean, I would have found have found a place by now. Has anybody else been through a similar struggle.

 

 

 

 

I will say a Hail Mary for you, and for all with struggles in their discernment, when I go to Holy Hour today. Please say a prayer for me also.

 

I believe what is really important when these trials and obstacles come around is to be faithful to what is in your heart. Just keep going no matter what gets thrown at or around you and be faithful to your part, Our Lord will do His in His time. Sometimes when I see all my trials and obstacles that seem to be in the way, I gather them up before me and when I reflect on everything I see that I just have to will it; I have to will to keep going no matter what happens or what I'm feeling when times get heavy. I honestly believe that being faithful and courageous during these times is going to be of great help in religious life when other trials come around, because they will certainly come around also when we do enter. I think part of all this is to strengthen us for what is ahead and to help us grow in virtue to be well prepared for the sacrifices and trials we will endure. Its important to keep this in mind during times of trial now because it will help us keep pushing on to what we really desire; to give ourselves completely to Jesus in the religious life, so be sure to give yourself to Him now  through everything. All shall be well, and everything will work out. It helps to repeat often, "Jesus, I trust in You." :)

Edited January 21, 2013 by VeniJesuAmorMi

[Chiquitunga]

I will say a Hail Mary for you, and for all with struggles in their discernment, when I go to Holy Hour today. Please say a prayer for me also.

 

I believe what is really important when these trials and obstacles come around is to be faithful to what is in your heart. Just keep going no matter what gets thrown at or around you and be faithful to your part, Our Lord will do His in His time. Sometimes when I see all my trials and obstacles that seem to be in the way, I gather them up before me and when I reflect on everything I see that I just have to will it; I have to will to keep going no matter what happens or what I'm feeling when times get heavy. I honestly believe that being faithful and courageous during these times is going to be of great help in religious life when other trials come around, because they will certainly come around also when we do enter. I think part of all this is to strengthen us for what is ahead and to help us grow in virtue to be well prepared for the sacrifices and trials we will endure. Its important to keep this in mind during times of trial now because it will help us keep pushing on to what we really desire; to give ourselves completely to Jesus in the religious life, so be sure to give yourself to Him now  through everything. All shall be well, and everything will work out. It helps to repeat often, "Jesus, I trust in You." :)

 

Props to this!! :pray:  This is encouraging .. thank you! 

[savvy]

Organweke and VeniJesuAmorMi,

 

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. I will talk to the Jerusalem sister this week.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 21, 2013 by savvy

[savvy]

 

Okay, I have an update. I spoke to the Jerusalem sister today. I told her about my experience at Carmel. She said that I had done the things, they told me to do, so see would speak to the prioress to see when I can come for another stay, to continue my discernment with the community.   :cheer: Thanks for all your prayers.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 24, 2013 by savvy

[Mary's Margaret]

So happy for you savvy.  Prayers as you continue your journey.

[AnneLine]

That is wonderful news, Savvy.  Prayers continue.... keep us informed....

[TheresaThoma]

Wonderful news! I will continue to pray for you!

[krissylou]

I wrote, about how the Monastic community of Jerusalem, that I am discerning, with, had asked me to visit other contemplative orders, to have different experiences.  

 

I spent a few days, at the Carmel. It was peaceful, but I was bored. I stayed in a guest room. The sisters have strict enclosure, so the only sister in the room next to me was the extern sister, but she was great.  I felt that I discern better, if I participate in the daily life with the sisters and get to know as many of them as possible.  I did get to talk to the sisters ocassionally and it was a relief.

 

The next on my list were the Dominicans, but I am now in two minds, since they are cloistered, too. I would not want to visit if it would be the same thing, i.e. not being able to participate in their daily life, needing an outlet etc. I do not how different a Dominican order would be from the Carmelites.

 

So, it's obvious that God is pointing towards Jerusalem again. I just hope they do not tell, me to look around some more or something else like that.  I have also started another novena to Therese, asking her help.

 

This is just a brainstorm, but do you live anywhere close to a Visitandine monastery?  They will often allow female retreatants (not necessarily discerners, just retreatants) inside the enclosure so that could get you a different sense than hanging out outside the enclosure with the extern.

 

Just a thought ...

[savvy]

 

This is just a brainstorm, but do you live anywhere close to a Visitandine monastery?  They will often allow female retreatants (not necessarily discerners, just retreatants) inside the enclosure so that could get you a different sense than hanging out outside the enclosure with the extern.

 

Just a thought ...

 

I do not have a Visitandine monastery in the province where I live, but there is one in another province. I am sticking to Jerusalem for now, but thanks for telling me this, I can keep the Visitandine's on my list, just in case.