tinytherese Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 What does it mean to respect our parents? When we're children, we are obligated to obey them, but in adulthood we are not obligated to do so. Yet regardless of how old we are, we are supposed to respect them. How do we specifically do that though? I keep having this negative image of Victorian Times where one was overly formal with one's parents as if they were your boss on the job, ex. "Sir," "Mame," but families were not emotionally intimate (I apologize if this isn't historically accurate.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 when i think of respecting my parents, i think of all the disrespectful crap one of my sisters has pulled over the years, and i basically do the opposite of that. (disrespectful things like, "If you dropped dead tomorrow, I wouldn't come to your funerals.") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Reflect on CCC 2197-2220 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I would say a huge component is selflessness when our parents get older and need more help. To treat them lovingly and help them because we want to - it would be disrespectful to act like our parents are a burden, because that's harmful to your relationship with them and harmful to their psyche. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
add Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 A universal truth love your neighbor as you would love yourself Treat your parents as you would a good neighbor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I think part of it is keeping up your relationship with them. I live far away from my parents, so I call them at least once a week, and take an interest in what they're up to. When I do make it home, I try to help out around the house, go to the store together, etc. I also seek their advice if I'm dealing with a problem, and consider what they say respectfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 I think part of it is keeping up your relationship with them. I live far away from my parents, so I call them at least once a week, and take an interest in what they're up to. When I do make it home, I try to help out around the house, go to the store together, etc. I also seek their advice if I'm dealing with a problem, and consider what they say respectfully. Oh my gosh. You're a saint! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 My situation is similar to Red's. I have a sibling who treats my parents with what I view as great disrespect a lot of the time. So I try to be (and do) the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 (edited) Oh my gosh. You're a saint! Bahahaa, no, far from it. I like my parents. :) It doesn't hurt that all my friends from home have moved away, and I only get to go home to see my parents about three times a year. :) And like others have said, I have a sibling who does a wonderful impression of what NOT to do. Edited January 20, 2013 by Basilisa Marie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 My personal situation is a rather strange one because my relationship with my mother is very different from my relationship with my father. I am, of course, bound to respect them both, but due to the different situations that respect manifests itself in different ways. I think the specific methods by which you as an adult respect your parents is going to depend very much on your personal situation. If you live close to them or far away, or even with them. If they live in accordance with the Church or if they do not. If you are friendly or if there is tension. All of these different situations still bind you to respect them, but the exact way you do so will not be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 I'm in an awkward situation. Dad is verbally abusive and I honestly think that he has narcissistic personality disorder. He is mean to mom, my little brother, and I yet acts as if we are the problem. Over these past months I've been known to stick up to him and to stick up for my other family members but he just continues laughing at such remarks, denying it, etc. I see that there just isn't any point in doing that anymore since he just gets defensive. It can be painful though, especially seeing how he treats my mom and she complains to me about his behavior. I then try to tell him what she told me thinking that if someone points it out to him that he'll reconsider but that never happens. I realize now though that she has told him time and time again everything that she has told me in describing why she is upset with him, but he just doesn't care or gets defensive. I can't always walk away form his obnoxious behavior like when I'm in the car going somewhere with him. I thought of listening to music so that I don't have to listen to him, but he gets mad that my little brother does that because then dad can't talk to him. Mom and I will have to schedule at least one appointment with my therapist on the communication difficulties that we have. She doesn't intend to sound critical or angry at times which greatly upset me, but I can't help but react to how she sounds regardless. She says that it's my problem. I don't claim to be blameless in our communication difficulties, but think that it is unfair that I should be the only one to work on these misunderstandings. I get confused by what I see as mixed signals to me and I'd like it for the both of us to mutually work at these problems. On top of all of that, I'm living at home with them right for a plethora of reasons and need to undergo a great deal of healing after what has happened to me over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I'm in an awkward situation. Dad is verbally abusive and I honestly think that he has narcissistic personality disorder. He is mean to mom, my little brother, and I yet acts as if we are the problem. Over these past months I've been known to stick up to him and to stick up for my other family members but he just continues laughing at such remarks, denying it, etc. I see that there just isn't any point in doing that anymore since he just gets defensive. It can be painful though, especially seeing how he treats my mom and she complains to me about his behavior. I then try to tell him what she told me thinking that if someone points it out to him that he'll reconsider but that never happens. I realize now though that she has told him time and time again everything that she has told me in describing why she is upset with him, but he just doesn't care or gets defensive. I can't always walk away form his obnoxious behavior like when I'm in the car going somewhere with him. I thought of listening to music so that I don't have to listen to him, but he gets mad that my little brother does that because then dad can't talk to him. Mom and I will have to schedule at least one appointment with my therapist on the communication difficulties that we have. She doesn't intend to sound critical or angry at times which greatly upset me, but I can't help but react to how she sounds regardless. She says that it's my problem. I don't claim to be blameless in our communication difficulties, but think that it is unfair that I should be the only one to work on these misunderstandings. I get confused by what I see as mixed signals to me and I'd like it for the both of us to mutually work at these problems. On top of all of that, I'm living at home with them right for a plethora of reasons and need to undergo a great deal of healing after what has happened to me over the years. to be honest it doesn't sound like that is the right environment to heal in. I would try to get as far away as possible as quickly as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I think part of it is keeping up your relationship with them. I live far away from my parents, so I call them at least once a week, and take an interest in what they're up to. When I do make it home, I try to help out around the house, go to the store together, etc. I also seek their advice if I'm dealing with a problem, and consider what they say respectfully. +1 I'm in an awkward situation....over the years. Prayers. to be honest it doesn't sound like that is the right environment to heal in. I would try to get as far away as possible as quickly as you can. +1 While there is an ideal method of following the fourth commandment, there are situations that call for different tactics. Take reasonable actions for your personal self to heal. Don't second-guess yourself. At the end of the day as an absolute minimum...pray for your parents. In certain situations, that would be sufficient for following the fourth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
add Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children Clarence Darrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children Clarence Darrow here's a hint: if you don't have something helpful to add to a thread, shut your mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now