fons_vitae Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Greetings, all. In early October, I broke up with my girlfriend of three months after I started feeling (since September) that we might not be compatible for the long haul. We remain friends, but I'm still a bit guilty over the whole thing because a large portion of my doubts about the relationship were (1) her appearance :S (I thought she was somewhat cute, but I rarely felt full physical desire for her) and (2) that she wasn't Catholic (although our worldviews are very similar, it was still a different world to her). I'm glad that I told her relatively quickly that I just wanted to be friends, but I still wonder what people (or vocations?) God ultimately has in store for us. I just don't want to have messed up a good thing because of my shortsightedness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 This means you're probably gay :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Better to decide early and wrap things up rather than draw things on and on without a real goal in mind. If you cannot see yourself marrying the person, then why waste any more time than that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I'm not going to pretend I know everything about dating, but to help you out with discerning if you should date a girl or not, never date a girl unless you can see a future with her. This really is what dating is for: Discerning marriage with each other. I would never enter a Carthusian Charterhouse in France because based off my personality I know I am completely incompatible with such a strict monastic lifestyle. It's the same principle for dating. If you can't see a future with her, don't date her. But if you think there might be a chance and there is a connection between the two of you, go for it. All wisdom is copyrighted from Jason Evert and others with actual knowledge of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I hope to God you didn't give her the reasons you listed - "Sorry babe, you're looking a bit shabby these days, and you're not Catholic, it's just not enough for me." You should never enter into a committed relationship if you aren't 100% sure you can discern marriage with the person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well, to be fair, physical attraction is an important part of discerning marriage. The not-Catholic thing can be worked with, because someone can be not Catholic but glad that you care about it a lot and be willing to act accordingly (come to mass, at least once in a while, etc). People come and go in our lives for a reason. Did you learn something about yourself from the relationship? That's what dating is about - discerning marriage by learning about yourself and others, and what you may or may not be looking for in a potential spouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 While courting and dating are for really getting to know someone and find out if chemistry exists between you two, set some standards for next time before you start dating/courting and stick to them. At the very least, you did good in not continuing the relationship any longer. Perhaps ideally, you probably should have never began it, however, I give you credit for manning up and ending it. Many men fail at this these days. Move on soldier and don't dwell too much on the past. There are more battles to fight and the war continues. :crusader2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well, to be fair, physical attraction is an important part of discerning marriage. Yeah but if it's a deal-breaker for you then you shouldn't get into a relationship with somebody you aren't really attracted to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Yeah but if it's a deal-breaker for you then you shouldn't get into a relationship with somebody you aren't really attracted to. ...which is why I said it's an important part of discerning marriage. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I think you're a monster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I think you're a monster. http://youtu.be/fa6Kv1fOStM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Yeah but if it's a deal-breaker for you then you shouldn't get into a relationship with somebody you aren't really attracted to. ...which is why I said it's an important part of discerning marriage. :) Besides which, looks aren't a constant. Youth and physical beauty don't last. Heck, even when young and physically appealing, no one looks their absolute best all the time. One could gain weight, be stressed/lack of sleep and look haggard, have a bad break out, whatever. While it's definitely important to be physically attracted to your significant other, we're human, we have flaws, there has to be some wiggle room. Although I have to say, when you're physically attracted, dark circles under the eyes and unkempt hair for a day or so - when you love the person, they're always beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I think you're a monster. Wow. Why do you hate gay people so much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Wow. Why do you hate gay people so much? Excuse me? Hello, my dad was gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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