Getting To Mass

[Debra Little]

Well, a year later I have still not found a way to get to Mass.  I am not eligible for the Go Bus.  That is a bus

that runs on Sunday too and will take people to church.  Nice for the ones who are eligible.  The regular

mass transit does not run on Sunday except for a few of them.  But none of those are in my area.  They are

far away from here. 

 

When I moved here 2 yrs ago I started attending Mass with one of the residents here at her parish. Then she

told me this is not your parish and I think you should ask so and so who is a member at your parish.  So I did

that.  For a little while I went to Mass with her.  Then, being elderly, she has a lot of health problems.  She

wasn't going to Mass because she was sick and at the doctors' a lot.   So one day I saw her and told her I

wouldn't ask her anymore because she has enough difficulties of her own.  So that was the end of my going

to Mass.  Recently she has got rid of her car.  Her daughters don't want her to drive anymore. 

 

When this started I looked for another way to get to Mass.  I can't take the bus to go to Saturday Mass be-

cause it would require me to be out alone after dark.  By the time Mass was finished it would be dark.  So I

called the parish office and asked if there was anyone who would be willing to pick me up, especially someone

out my way.   I was told, "we don't do that here."   Then I found out I wasn't eligible to take the bus so I didn't

bother to take the form to my doctor.  I continued looking around here for a church but there is only a church

that meets on Saturday morning, a Spanish Baptist church or something anyway.  But it is not Catholic, And

there is a Christian Reformed church.  That's it.  Nothing else. 

 

I haven't been to Mass for a year and I would love to go.  I'm out of ideas to try.  I don't own a vehicle nor could

I drive one if I had it.  I have a seizure disorder.  Legally it is alright but I don't think anyone with a seizure

disorder should be driving.  It is just too chancy and dangerous. 

 

I really don't believe God is mad at me or going to to send me to hell for this.  It can't be helped that this is the

situation I am in.  There are a lot of here like this.  Don't have a way to get there.  The rest of these people

go to Protestant churches.  Not interested. 

 

There was a 7 yr period where I didn't attend Mass at all and the church was only 3 or 4 blocks away. That was

my fault and my doing.  Now I want so badly to attend Mass and can't.  Never take anything for granted.  I learned

a big lesson here. 

 

I also want to go to confession. 

 

 

[ChristinaTherese]

When I moved here 2 yrs ago I started attending Mass with one of the residents here at her parish. Then she

told me this is not your parish and I think you should ask so and so who is a member at your parish.  So I did

that.  For a little while I went to Mass with her.  Then, being elderly, she has a lot of health problems.  She

wasn't going to Mass because she was sick and at the doctors' a lot.   So one day I saw her and told her I

wouldn't ask her anymore because she has enough difficulties of her own.  So that was the end of my going

to Mass.  Recently she has got rid of her car.  Her daughters don't want her to drive anymore. 

 

When this started I looked for another way to get to Mass.  I can't take the bus to go to Saturday Mass be-

cause it would require me to be out alone after dark.  By the time Mass was finished it would be dark.  So I

called the parish office and asked if there was anyone who would be willing to pick me up, especially someone

out my way.   I was told, "we don't do that here."   Then I found out I wasn't eligible to take the bus so I didn't

bother to take the form to my doctor.  I continued looking around here for a church but there is only a church

that meets on Saturday morning, a Spanish Baptist church or something anyway.  But it is not Catholic, And

there is a Christian Reformed church.  That's it.  Nothing else. 

 

. . .

 

I also want to go to confession. 

 

Could you ask the first person to take you again? You've tried to get to your parish, and that's all that can be reasonable expected of you. Since that doesn't work, is it possible to go back to the first person, show her how you've tried, and get a ride with her again?

 

Or maybe your parish can do something for homebound people, which it sounds like you are? Maybe the priest could go and hear your confession (Is that the right verb? I don't know....) and the Eucharist could be brought to you? After all, the priest is, in some way, responsible for you.... (At least, I'm pretty sure that he is.)

[Debra Little]

Could you ask the first person to take you again? You've tried to get to your parish, and that's all that can be reasonable expected of you. Since that doesn't work, is it possible to go back to the first person, show her how you've tried, and get a ride with her again?

 

Or maybe your parish can do something for homebound people, which it sounds like you are? Maybe the priest could go and hear your confession (Is that the right verb? I don't know....) and the Eucharist could be brought to you? After all, the priest is, in some way, responsible for you.... (At least, I'm pretty sure that he is.)

 

i thought about asking the first person if i could go to Mass with her again.  I have been afraid to because she

kind of pawned me off on the other person.  It is an idea though that I could try.  I guess the worst she could

say is no.  I have asked my brother to bring to me to Mass.  He is Seventh Day Adventist.  He said, "you mean

I have to take you there and come home. Then I have to go back to pick you up and come home again.  No."

I can take the bus during daylight hours during the week.  Maybe Father would let me come to Mass another

time.  Although I am not sure I can substitute that for going on a weekend. 

[MissyP89]

In special situations like yours he can definitely arrange it so you do your Sunday obligation at another time. But you have to be faithful to it just like if it were Sunday. If you agree on the Monday 9 a.m. Mass, then you would go there every week.

 

Try calling the church again and see about someone coming out to you with Communion, or better yet, see if Father can come to hear your confession. That will be a start.

 

Prayers for you. I'm also dependent on others to get me to Mass and understand how frustrating it is to be stuck.

[AnneLine]

You might also see if there is a Knights of Columbus or St. Vincent de Paul chapter in your area... maybe someone in one of those groups would be open to bringing you... or even several of them so it wouldn't be an imposition on any one of them all the time, but maybe once a month.

 

You have my sympathies on this one, Debra; I can't drive either, and I live atop a hill.  When the weather is bad, if my husband can't take me (because he has to work on Sundays) I am stuck... unless I pay for a cab.

 

You might also check with your diocese to see if they have any ideas for you.  

 

As far as the parish - ran into this same problem myself.  I think part of the problem may be (I'm not sure but I suspect this strongly....) that the parishes have been told NOT to do this because they could be liable if something happened.   I was told so in so many words by someone in my parish... that they had been told NOT to arrange rides for anyone.   However, I think this is something that the dioceses need to think about further... because our population is aging a LOT and increasingly people will NOT all be able to get themselves to church.  So maybe we need to give the 'how to resolve this' more of a thought than just saying, Oh, well... guess you don't get to come.  

 

My 2 cents...

[Debra Little]

In special situations like yours he can definitely arrange it so you do your Sunday obligation at another time. But you have to be faithful to it just like if it were Sunday. If you agree on the Monday 9 a.m. Mass, then you would go there every week.

 

Try calling the church again and see about someone coming out to you with Communion, or better yet, see if Father can come to hear your confession. That will be a start.

 

Prayers for you. I'm also dependent on others to get me to Mass and understand how frustrating it is to be stuck.

 

For now I am alright.  I talked with the woman I used to go to Mass with, the first one.  She said I can go with her whenever

she goes.  She said it depends on how she feels.  She is in her mid 80's so that's understandable.  The second person I

mentioned no longer has her car.  This is great.  At least I will get to go sometimes.  Very Glad!

You might also see if there is a Knights of Columbus or St. Vincent de Paul chapter in your area... maybe someone in one of those groups would be open to bringing you... or even several of them so it wouldn't be an imposition on any one of them all the time, but maybe once a month.

 

You have my sympathies on this one, Debra; I can't drive either, and I live atop a hill.  When the weather is bad, if my husband can't take me (because he has to work on Sundays) I am stuck... unless I pay for a cab.

 

You might also check with your diocese to see if they have any ideas for you.  

 

As far as the parish - ran into this same problem myself.  I think part of the problem may be (I'm not sure but I suspect this strongly....) that the parishes have been told NOT to do this because they could be liable if something happened.   I was told so in so many words by someone in my parish... that they had been told NOT to arrange rides for anyone.   However, I think this is something that the dioceses need to think about further... because our population is aging a LOT and increasingly people will NOT all be able to get themselves to church.  So maybe we need to give the 'how to resolve this' more of a thought than just saying, Oh, well... guess you don't get to come.  

 

My 2 cents...

I don't think it's right that so many of us can't get to Mass because of lack of transportation.  Most Protestant churches have

vans of buses or someone who is willing to come pick people up so they can get to church.  This is one thing we can learn

from them.  Be more compassionate to those without transportation.  Think of how it feels to them to have to miss Mass.

[homeschoolmom]

I don't think it's right that so many of us can't get to Mass because of lack of transportation.  Most Protestant churches have

vans of buses or someone who is willing to come pick people up so they can get to church.  This is one thing we can learn

from them.  Be more compassionate to those without transportation.  Think of how it feels to them to have to miss Mass.

 

I think whoever suggested it's a liability issue was right. My mom can't get to church anymore (Protestant) because her church no longer has a bus/van and the church staff is NOT ALLOWED to make arrangements for rides. She was told it was a liability issue. She's been a member there for 40 years.

 

It's very sad.

[ChristinaTherese]

For now I am alright.  I talked with the woman I used to go to Mass with, the first one.  She said I can go with her whenever

she goes.  She said it depends on how she feels.  She is in her mid 80's so that's understandable.  The second person I

mentioned no longer has her car.  This is great.  At least I will get to go sometimes.  Very Glad!

I don't think it's right that so many of us can't get to Mass because of lack of transportation.  Most Protestant churches have

vans of buses or someone who is willing to come pick people up so they can get to church.  This is one thing we can learn

from them.  Be more compassionate to those without transportation.  Think of how it feels to them to have to miss Mass.

 

Yay!

[AnneLine]

There must be a way that the users can sign a waiver or something.  It's crazy!    

 

I know there are seniors (and myself sometimes) who can't get to Mass.... and my parish is BEGGING for people to be involved in adoration... and me LONGING to be there but with no way to get there.   And still the plaintive emails keep a comin'..... 

 

Granted, adoration isn't as vital as Mass... but there are times when I have to either pay $20 each way to get there... or miss Mass.  And I just can't even try for the adoration....   And it just doesn't seem quite.... just. 

[A Yearning Heart]

Sometimes we have posted in our parish newsletter/bulletin notices from people asking for lifts etc and that seems to work. Either the person who is asking for the lift publishes their contact details, or they are told to contact the parish office if they can help and then the office determines if the person offering a lift is legit, and then passes on the contact details.

 

It is also good that if people are able to go to mass to try and build up relationships with others in the same one, then when needed, lifts are easier to arrange amongst parishoners themselves.

 

we have a minibus that goes around to anyone needing a lift, and mass is streamed over the internet for others who can't come but who can be there in spirit with the community.

 

there is also a ministry of extraordinary ministers who do regular visits with Holy Communion, though the priests often visit people in their homes so people can receive the Sacraments.

 

I've seen one maronite church that has a strong youth ministry actively encouraging and organising the parish to partner up with those who have disabilities not only to help them come to mass, but to help them participate in parish life, etc. Being so large scale with many in the parish being involved, it was the most impressive thing I've ever seen.

 

I pray you can get to Mass sometimes and am glad to hear it looks like it will work out :)

[Debra Little]

I think whoever suggested it's a liability issue was right. My mom can't get to church anymore (Protestant) because her church no longer has a bus/van and the church staff is NOT ALLOWED to make arrangements for rides. She was told it was a liability issue. She's been a member there for 40 years.

 

It's very sad.

 

that is a shame!

Sometimes we have posted in our parish newsletter/bulletin notices from people asking for lifts etc and that seems to work. Either the person who is asking for the lift publishes their contact details, or they are told to contact the parish office if they can help and then the office determines if the person offering a lift is legit, and then passes on the contact details.

 

It is also good that if people are able to go to mass to try and build up relationships with others in the same one, then when needed, lifts are easier to arrange amongst parishoners themselves.

 

we have a minibus that goes around to anyone needing a lift, and mass is streamed over the internet for others who can't come but who can be there in spirit with the community.

 

there is also a ministry of extraordinary ministers who do regular visits with Holy Communion, though the priests often visit people in their homes so people can receive the Sacraments.

 

I've seen one maronite church that has a strong youth ministry actively encouraging and organising the parish to partner up with those who have disabilities not only to help them come to mass, but to help them participate in parish life, etc. Being so large scale with many in the parish being involved, it was the most impressive thing I've ever seen.

 

I pray you can get to Mass sometimes and am glad to hear it looks like it will work out :)

 

i don't feel like going today yet.  I have been sick and am not up to it yet.  Yesterday I went to our coffee hour here in the

complex and that was too much for me.  This morning I went for coffee and donut ( we have this every Sat).  That was too

much and I don't feel so good right now.  But next week I hope to go to Mass and meanwhile I will give the parish office

a call and make an appointment to see Father about making arrangements.  Thanks for all the support and suggestions.

I appreciate it.

[AnneLine]

Sometimes we have posted in our parish newsletter/bulletin notices from people asking for lifts etc and that seems to work. Either the person who is asking for the lift publishes their contact details, or they are told to contact the parish office if they can help and then the office determines if the person offering a lift is legit, and then passes on the contact details.

 

It was asking if I could do this that got me the response that they could not/would not do this.  It did seem sad... but I can understand it.... sort of.   They said that they were not allowed to do this because something could happen to me or to the driver.  (That's why I am fairly sure it is connected with the liability insurance thing.... I doulbt they really think I'd attack anyone.... brute beast that I am.... :brutebeast:

 

It is also good that if people are able to go to mass to try and build up relationships with others in the same one, then when needed, lifts are easier to arrange amongst parishoners themselves.

 

we have a minibus that goes around to anyone needing a lift, and mass is streamed over the internet for others who can't come but who can be there in spirit with the community.

Obviously this is the goal - and I do have a network of those... but no solution for when those don't pan out....

 

there is also a ministry of extraordinary ministers who do regular visits with Holy Communion, though the priests often visit people in their homes so people can receive the Sacraments.

Yes, as do we.  Which is why this seems to be a little odd to me..... because wouldn't it be MORE dangerous to visit someone IN THEIR HOME? for BOTH parties?     I has to be the automobile liability insurance....

 

I've seen one maronite church that has a strong youth ministry actively encouraging and organising the parish to partner up with those who have disabilities not only to help them come to mass, but to help them participate in parish life, etc. Being so large scale with many in the parish being involved, it was the most impressive thing I've ever seen.

 

Exactly.  That's why I am wondering if this wouldn't be a wonderful MINISTRY for the Knights of Columbus or one of the parish groups... to simply scoop an occasional person up and deliver them from home to Church and back again.  Seems a no-brainer to me... but I guess it does to litigious people, too, and they only need to defend 1 million dollar claim to make a decision like this....

 

I pray you can get to Mass sometimes and am glad to hear it looks like it will work out :)

 

Debra, I'm glad you can go, and I am thrilled that it appears to be resolving itself for you.  (It's only a minor inconvenience for me.... as usually I do go with my husband or a friend.  

 

FEEL BETTER, Debra!

[Debra Little]

There must be a way that the users can sign a waiver or something.  It's crazy!    

 

I know there are seniors (and myself sometimes) who can't get to Mass.... and my parish is BEGGING for people to be involved in adoration... and me LONGING to be there but with no way to get there.   And still the plaintive emails keep a comin'..... 

 

Granted, adoration isn't as vital as Mass... but there are times when I have to either pay $20 each way to get there... or miss Mass.  And I just can't even try for the adoration....   And it just doesn't seem quite.... just. 

 

It isn't just.   Shame on parishes who let their parishioners go to the wayside.  Why are they so dense about this?

As long as they can get there I guess it doesn't matter to them.

[AnneLine]

Debra, it's really more of a disabled access issue than it is a dense parish issue.... although I do think parishes (and other entities) need to start thinking this one over as their populations get older....

 

I don't think until someone cannot drive that they realize what a huge issue this in our society.  In the past services and Churches and all the rest were within walking distance.... but my experience is that it simply never occurs to people that everyone WOULDn't drive.  They might not even KNOW someone who doesn't drive.

Where I live there aren't even SIDEWALKS on part of the road up the hill to my neighborhood... it liternally NEVER OCCURRED to people that the sidewalks might be needed.  But 100 people or so a day brave the hill, and the traffic...   And in an area renouned for fog, this is a recipie for... well, that's probably what it will take before they are required to put in sidewalks!  And this presumes someone can walk a fairly steep hill!

 

Anyway, hope you are feeling better.... !

 

 

[Debra Little]

Debra, it's really more of a disabled access issue than it is a dense parish issue.... although I do think parishes (and other entities) need to start thinking this one over as their populations get older....

 

I don't think until someone cannot drive that they realize what a huge issue this in our society.  In the past services and Churches and all the rest were within walking distance.... but my experience is that it simply never occurs to people that everyone WOULDn't drive.  They might not even KNOW someone who doesn't drive.

Where I live there aren't even SIDEWALKS on part of the road up the hill to my neighborhood... it liternally NEVER OCCURRED to people that the sidewalks might be needed.  But 100 people or so a day brave the hill, and the traffic...   And in an area renouned for fog, this is a recipie for... well, that's probably what it will take before they are required to put in sidewalks!  And this presumes someone can walk a fairly steep hill!

 

Anyway, hope you are feeling better.... !

 

i am fine dear Anne,  now to get rid of this nasty cold so i can to Mass next week.  thanks for the encouragement.