Is It Ever Right To Walk Away?

[Quietfire]

Hmm, It's been awhile since I've been here, but I got blasted by this today and I need to hear from some experts so bear with me while I spill.

 

Is there anywhere in scripture that teaches that it perfectly acceptable to walk away from a relationship when that relationship causes more harm than good?

 

Many years ago, I tried to have a close relationship with an aunt.  In the end it was a disaster.  I wanted to live my life...and she wanted to live my life as well.  I was an over 21 adult, but she insisted she knew what was best for me and when I finally put my foot down it got ugly. 

Although we had made up before, only to repeat the process again and again, this time I put alot of thought into it and decided that for my own sanity and peace I needed to break away completely. 

 

This woman wreaked havoc in my personal life.  She told lies about me to my then boyfriend, stole from me and made it a point to belittle me and even call me names when I didnt "conform" to her ideals.  I once got an hour long lecture for not calling her when she felt I should have.  (it wasnt that I didnt call her....I just didnt call her when she wanted me to call her)

 

If I was going out to a bar to meet friends, she wanted to come along.  In the beginning that was fine.  But it became clear that she had other plans for going out and soon I had to sneak out because her actions were affecting my relationships with my friends and quite honestly, they thought I was a different sort of person because she was that sort of person (I hope that isnt too vague)

I was grateful that some of my friends were quite honest with me and although I was shocked by the accusations,  I made sure they were true before completely believing any of them.

 

Ok, so I decided to basically walk away from the relationship completely.  We had a huge falling out and then I made it clear that even though I didnt hate her I felt it was for the best that she not be in my life under any circumstances. This was mostly because every time I tried to limit our exposure to each other, I would just get hurt again and be treated like a turd.

 

I wish I could go into the nitty gritty detail of the 10 adult years that this relationship lasted but that would really bring up alot of memories that I've let go of and forgiven.

 

Again, I dont hate her and I've forgiven her and myself for everything.  This I needed to do in order to move on and grow myself.  It's just now Im getting flak for not trying to get back in touch with her and trying to make it work.  It doesnt matter as to why now.  It's more an issue as to "how can you claim to be a Catholic and christian and not try to make room for this person in your life?"

 

Im not sure my life can handle this drama again.  I am at peace with my decision and where I am now.  I am happy and feel that it's because I had to accept the fact that not every relationship is going to work.  Some are far too dangerous and disasterous for one or the other party. 

The old saying that "you can please some of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you cant please all of the people all of the time" comes to mind.

 

My husband feels that I am making the right choice and I trust his judgement but I do know that he is biased.

 

So does the Bible support my decision so long as it isnt out of anger or pettiness or vindictiveness?

 

Thank you and God Bless.

[CatherineM]

I had a difficult relationship with my mother. My confessor at the time, Fr. Paul, got tired of hearing about it. He said that when a relationship is unhealthy on my end, it is also unhealthy for the other person as well. So, there was a time when I broke off communication with her except in writing. It ended up being really good for the both of us. We were able to re-boot our relationship and were very close by the time she passed away this summer.

You do not need a bible passage to justify discontinuing a harmful or dysfunctional relationship. If she wasn't your aunt, would you be friends? It might be that your backing away from her is the kick in the rear she needs to look at herself and make changes in her life that will lead her to a healthier future.