Today Was The Day

[CatherineM]

We started filing all the paperwork for our new son's adoption. There were fingerprints to do, then name change forms. We each had to swear affidavits on why we wanted to adopt/be adopted. There were applications for new birth certificates and service of process, you name it.

At the courthouse, Zach told the family court clerk that he was no longer one of those people who say you can't choose your family. We tried to make sure this was what he really wanted, not just what we wanted. I figured he'd wait to tell his family. Instead he marched over to confront his father and tell him that he no longer wanted to have his name. That he wasn't a real dad and didn't deserve him as a son.

Truthfully didn't see that coming. His dad was physically abusive to his kids, did time for raping one of his daughters. He was an absent, neglectful, drug addict/drunk that broke his son's nose, all of his wife's teeth, and had enough affairs to have had 6 other kids with women other than his wife. It took something enormous for Zach to confront him like that.

On the positive side, we don't have to be very good parents to exceed his expectations. We basically have three young men living with us right now. Zach, James, the one who is mentally retarded, and Will.

Will is Guatemalan and his family moved to the US without him. His mom married a Canadian and came here when Will was a little boy. He's a Canadian citizen now, but his mom got divorced and remarried an Anerican this time and moved to California. Will was over 18, so couldn't immigrate with them. He's a lifelong friend and has been rooming with Zach for about 6 months. He helps out around the condo and with James to pay his rent. For example he shovels the walkways and parking lot and vacuums the hallways.

We took him with us on Christmas vacation. He thought he was going to spend Christmas alone in the apartment. Zach didn't tell him until the last minute as a joke. We thought the boys would do the waterpark and amusement park and not want to hang with the old folks. Instead they wanted us to do everything together.

Well, except the waterslide. My old bones aren't going down a vertical slide at 60kph. After a few days I realized that these boys are desperate for "family." Austin's observation was that this is why street gangs are so strong in places. They provide the feeling of family that these kids crave.

The Commisioner of Oaths today refused to charge us for witnessing the affidavits. After reading what Zach wrote in the section about why he wanted to be adopted, he said he just couldn't charge us the $150. This is just the start of the paperwork. Once it comes through, then the real work begins. We'll have to change his name on IDs and health insurance and school and cadet paperwork. We even had to order new name tags for his cadet uniforms.

Lucky for him his new Mom is good at paperwork.

[PhuturePriest]

I'm glad he had the strength to confront his father and change his life. You must be great parents to be able to take someone change him that much. It takes a lot of strength and perseverance that at least I know I do not have, and I'm sure many others would say much the same.

[emmaberry101]

CatherineM: I don't post on OpenMic much, but I just wanted to say thank you for everything you have done for these young men, and I'm sure for others that I don't know about. Almost brought a tear to my eye reading your OP!

[AnneLine]

Congratulations all of you!!!  Welcome home, Zach!

[The Mater Dolorosa]

May God always bless you for all you do!!!  Zach is in very good hands!!!

[Autumn Dusk]

You're amazing!!!  Thank God for people like you!!!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Congratulations on your son. :) I know this was a long "labor and delivery". ;)

I always keep y'all in my prayers and admire you so much.