Self Body Image Rant (good)

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I posted this on Facebook earlier and I thought I'd share it here. Since I like to rant everywhere. ;)

"I was on my instagram this evening and happened to click on a hashtag someone used that was #uglyme. I was shocked when I saw the 11,394 pictures that were there of these absolutely gorgeous girls. I was shocked to see so many beautiful girls calling themselves ugly over social media. Or at all for that matter. People, this is a problem that will only grow bigger. It kills me when I see this, whether my close friends or people I've never met calling themselves fat or ugly or whatever. Because I feel for them more than I can describe in this post. Girls, listen to me. You are beautiful. I know every one of you reading this and I've seen your Facebook pictures. You are beautiful. But I know that me saying that might not convince you. You have to believe it. Whether it takes looking in the mirror every day and saying, "I am beautiful." do it. If it means reading Isaiah 62:4 multiple times every day, do it. I've had to. Parents, on Instagram at this moment there are 11,394 pictures only from public accounts hashtagged #uglyme. There are 2,930 hashtagged #fatme. Please go tell your daughters that they're beautiful. To the girls again, whether or not you have poor self body image or low self-esteem, tell your friends how beautiful they are. I know you can at least agree with me that your friends are some of the most beautiful people you've ever met. I know mine are drop-dead gorgeous. Stay confident, get supportive, know that you're beautiful, and help stop so many girls from hating themselves. God bless, and rant over."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, reflecting on my recent past experiences I am healing from. That's why I get so passionate about this stuff. You know how when you don't want someone else to end up in the place you were at one point? That's how I feel. I know all too well what a few young girls in my life are going through.

Edited December 27, 2012 by FutureCarmeliteClaire

[KnightofChrist]

The beauty of any woman is found within her eyes, because they are the gateway to her soul where her true beauty lies. All other beauty will fade with time but her soul by the grace of God will be forever.

[Lilllabettt]

 I feel the "I'm so fat/i'm so ugly" thing is:

 

1. self-soothing defense mechanism

2.  compliment fishing (claiming to be fat/ugly so as to hear self-esteem boosting contradictions)

3. female bonding ritual

 

I worry more about the people who tell themselves in the quiet of their hearts that they are ugly or fat.

If a person is  so public about their "self loathing" that they are using a hashtag to advertise it to the world... maybe they are crying for help, but they are definitely attention seeking.

Edited December 27, 2012 by Lilllabettt

[Nihil Obstat]

It is fairly common for teenage girls to call themselves ugly because they are fishing for compliments. I think that points to a fairly sad trend of girls who need external validation in order to feel good about themselves.

[Lilllabettt]

that is why I stopped contradicting my friends when they called themselves fat/ugly.

instead I told them "How sad that you feel that way."

cold, yes. But necessary. Of course I explained beforehand why I did not want to participate in the "i'm fat/ugly" ritual, so they understood what I was doing.

I think we need to stop giving attention to girls who act this way and stigmatize the behavior instead.

It's considered socially unacceptable and unattractive for a man to talk himself down in public ... why can't it be that way for women too.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

It is fairly common for teenage girls to call themselves ugly because they are fishing for compliments. I think that points to a fairy sad trend of girls who need external validation in order to feel good about themselves.

That's true I'm sure for a lot of them. That's what saddens me is that people need that. I was never the type to go around and tell everybody how ugly I thought I was. Mine was more internal and had more than just the body issues. But Anywho, I definitely see some people can be crying out for attention. But even that says something, doesn't it?

I feel the "I'm so fat/i'm so ugly" thing is:

1. self-soothing defense mechanism
2. compliment fishing (claiming to be fat/ugly so as to hear self-esteem boosting contradictions)
3. female bonding ritual

I worry more about the people who tell themselves in the quiet of their hearts that they are ugly or fat.
If a person is so public about their "self loathing" that they are using a hashtag to advertise it to the world... maybe they are crying for help, but they are definitely attention seeking.

Sure. I see that can be true for some.

[PhuturePriest]

that is why I stopped contradicting my friends when they called themselves fat/ugly.

instead I told them "How sad that you feel that way."

cold, yes. But necessary. Of course I explained beforehand why I did not want to participate in the "i'm fat/ugly" ritual, so they understood what I was doing.

I think we need to stop giving attention to girls who act this way and stigmatize the behavior instead.

It's considered socially unacceptable and unattractive for a man to talk himself down in public ... why can't it be that way for women too.

 

By the beard of Zeus. It is? I was never given that memo...

[Lilllabettt]

Get the memo and read it as fast as you can.

when a man makes public pronouncements that he considers himself ugly, fat etc. he drives chicks away

And other men  view the behavior as pathetic and strange. Men do not bond with each other over thunder thighs or pimples.

....

 

or maybe my assessment is inaccurate and I have just run in macho society all my life.

[PhuturePriest]

Get the memo and read it as fast as you can.

when a man makes public pronouncements that he considers himself ugly, fat etc. he drives chicks away

And other men  view the behavior as pathetic and strange. Men do not bond with each other over thunder thighs or pimples.

....

 

or maybe my assessment is inaccurate and I have just run in macho society all my life.

 

I've never announced to people that I was ugly or fat or anything. I just didn't know that this was taboo, and I didn't know it drove girls away.

Get the memo and read it as fast as you can.

when a man makes public pronouncements that he considers himself ugly, fat etc. he drives chicks away

And other men  view the behavior as pathetic and strange. Men do not bond with each other over thunder thighs or pimples.

....

 

or maybe my assessment is inaccurate and I have just run in macho society all my life.

 

Maybe I'm just messed up, but at least in my experiences, when a girl tells me she thinks she is ugly, if I like her than I automatically start telling her that she is not and I assure her that I think she is beautiful, and it sort of grows us closer, kind of like sharing troubles with each other. Maybe this is a subconscious way for girls to appeal to men? Or maybe it's just that I am not psychologically sound and should see a psychiatrist?

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I've never announced to people that I was ugly or fat or anything. I just didn't know that this was taboo, and I didn't know it drove girls away.



Maybe I'm just messed up, but at least in my experiences, when a girl tells me she thinks she is ugly, if I like her than I automatically start telling her that she is not and I assume I think she is beautiful, and it sort of grows us closer, kind of like sharing troubles with each other. Maybe this is a subconscious way for girls to appeal to men? Or maybe it's just that I am not psychologically sound and should see a psychiatrist?

I'm not sure it "drives girls away", but I see what she's saying. I, at least, think confident men are attractive. Idk.

I've never met you, but I certainly don't think you are psychologically unsound. I see what you're saying as well. I think it may be unfair to group all girls with self body image issues under the label of "attention-seeking". Certainly not all in my experience have been. And if they were, I'm sure there's a reason that needs to be identified. Whether she has no friends, is bullied, or has family issues or something. No matter why someone thinks badly of themselves, I feel it needs to be fixed at the root of the problem. I've never seen someone use it as a bonding ritual, but again, I see how that could be the case for some.

Thank you all for your opinions! This has been interesting.

[Lilllabettt]

 Maybe this is a subconscious way for girls to appeal to men?

 

 

ding ding ding we have a winner

[Ash Wednesday]

 I feel the "I'm so fat/i'm so ugly" thing is:

 

1. self-soothing defense mechanism

2.  compliment fishing (claiming to be fat/ugly so as to hear self-esteem boosting contradictions)

3. female bonding ritual

 

I worry more about the people who tell themselves in the quiet of their hearts that they are ugly or fat. If a person is  so public about their "self loathing" that they are using a hashtag to advertise it to the world... maybe they are crying for help, but they are definitely attention seeking.

 

 

I agree wholeheartedly. My generation did this as teenagers all the time, only we didn't have the internet, we would say it to each other. But it's still the same thing.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR9ABLkV09M

 

Granted, some of it genuinely is a cry for help. And, there are some troubling things that do go on with the internet -- "thinspo" and communities where girls with eating disorders support their habits and each other. Though eating disorders are a pretty complicated thing -- that don't just involve image problems but often are triggered by emotional issues involving their personal lives as well.

 

I will say that image expectations placed on women (and now men) is just frightening. Male cosmetic surgery and eating disorders is on the rise with them as well. 

[PhuturePriest]

I'm not sure it "drives girls away", but I see what she's saying. I, at least, think confident men are attractive. Idk.

I've never met you, but I certainly don't think you are psychologically unsound. I see what you're saying as well. I think it may be unfair to group all girls with self body image issues under the label of "attention-seeking". Certainly not all in my experience have been. And if they were, I'm sure there's a reason that needs to be identified. Whether she has no friends, is bullied, or has family issues or something. No matter why someone thinks badly of themselves, I feel it needs to be fixed at the root of the problem. I've never seen someone use it as a bonding ritual, but again, I see how that could be the case for some.

Thank you all for your opinions! This has been interesting.

 

A great example is Jason Evert's wife, Chrystalina. She was voted as the most beautiful girl in her high school (And she went to a huge high school), but she still thought she was ugly because her boyfriend convinced her she was. That's not attention seeking or trying to appeal to men, that is sincerely believing you are ugly because your boyfriend is a scumbag.

[4588686]

I'm not as attractive as Brad Pitt.  Most men aren't.  Most women are't as attractive as Selma Heyek.  So it goes.  

[xTrishaxLynnx]

I'm not as attractive as Brad Pitt.  Most men aren't.  Most women are't as attractive as Selma Heyek.  So it goes.  

 

Generally speaking, you may be correct, but I have never found Brad Pitt attractive so I think it depends on the individuals' definitions of "attractive."