It's Going Too Fast...

[littlesister]

First, congratulations on your English!  Terribly difficult as the language can be, you handle it beautifully.

From long-ago experience, I would agree that all of the above messages give you excellent advice.  If you're at home in the monastery and not at all at the university, what do you think the Lord is saying?  There is a great line in an old Irish song, "I know where my heart belongs."  Following your heart to where it belongs sounds like a very good idea.  If things turn out differently, the university will still be there, and maybe the way will be pointed to a different field of study.  The courses that you have already had will surely count for something.

[NonNovi]

First, congratulations on your English!  Terribly difficult as the language can be, you handle it beautifully.

 

Thank you! :)

 

 

I just received a Christmas card. The first thing I saw when I opened the envelope is this text:

 

When the wind of change blows, some build screens to block it. Others build windmills.

:eek:

[BigJon16]

Praying for you, my borther. Trust in Him. God always outdoes us with his generosity when we follow him. (easier said then done, I know)  Pray. Hope. Don't worry.

 

 

[AnneLine]

Praying for you, NonNovi.....   

 

I almost called you 'Novi' -- and that may be prophetic, because I think you DO 'Novi' a lot more than you did a few weeks or months ago!

 

It strikes me that by letting go of the things that you have been doing, you are reaching out to the Poor Infant in a very radical way... and He will reward you for that generosity in letting go of what was safe but wrong.

 

Let us know what happens with your parents. 

 

I do think you are making a wise decision to let college go for now.... you can always come back and finish it when you know more about what God wants.

 

Praying hard.....

 

 

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

Thank you! :)


I just received a Christmas card. The first thing I saw when I opened the envelope is this text:

:eek:

NonNovi,

I just got back from a vocations retreat, and I had several things that came to me I think you would benefit from. First we are all called differently. Some people answer right and some get it wrong, like when Jesus called the one and he said, let me go bury my father the next said let me go say good bye to my mother. Both of these were told that were unfit for looking back, while the rich young man was told to wait...go sell everything give it away and THEN come follow, he didn't want to give up his stuff. While it may seem difficult to do it, to me is seems like you MUST at least tell your parents about your discernment and you should probably be looking at walking a door that has been opened to you. While your parents MIGHT be disappointed at first; you might be the tool God needs to use in their lives too. As well God is merciful, it often seems like if we don't discern perfectly then our entire lives will be messed up, If you TRY to seek after and follow God, he will use that experience to help you grow. If you are NOT meant to be a Priest then he will beat you in the head with a giant stick and let you know. Trust God, seek after Him. I think you already know where you are called and are just afraid of what that means. A Priest is called to pious suffering for those in the Church, to bring others to holiness. All of the Great followers of God were not used by God untill they were willing to give God everything they have and are. Edited December 21, 2012 by PadrePioOfPietrelcino

[NonNovi]

I almost called you 'Novi' -- and that may be prophetic, because I think you DO 'Novi' a lot more than you did a few weeks or months ago!

:hehe2: You should get a new tag here, Phatmass prophet ;)

 

Meanwhile I still haven't said anything. My sister returned from London for Christmas and I didn't want to ruin my parents happiness. It would be twice as painful if I said it just before, that would spoil the family visits and parties. But I have had it with the whole family Christmas celebration, it doesn't feel right anymore. Everbody is worrying about the food and the presents. I worried about getting to the midnight Mass... (wich I attended alone, the rest of the family stayed home). On Christmas I went to Mass with my family in the church where I was baptised (not our parish anymore, we moved). I don't like it there, they have 3 women with some sort of function who seem to think they are female priests (wearing an alb and an orange shawl hanging down one shoulder). I stood up and knelt at the appropriate times (and seemed to be the only one who know exactly when), received kneeling on the tongue and sang out loud (not mumbling and acting like I know the song). My family is embarrassed when I do those things, every time again. That's why I'm happy we don't go to Mass together very often. Long story short, al the Christmas things are getting too loud and busy for me, I'd rather be left alone and pray in silence, celebrating the real meaning of Christmas.

 

Today I went to confession. I spend 30 minutes in the confessional, must be my longest visit ever. I told my confessor (an old Capuchin) everything, because not telling is starting to feel a bit like lying. At first he was trying to advice me to hold on and graduate, because that's what my parents would want and because I'd have the security of the diploma. I actually didn't expect that, that's what everybody says/would say. Then I said that what he said is a pure human way of thinking, that God doesn't want us to have security. I told him about my possibility to stay a while at a monastery (without really entering). He thought that it is a good way to get to know "the life" and started to tell about his youth and entrance. He actually entered without the security of even a high school diploma. According to him, in those days it was possible, but now, in this society it's important to have security and blablabla.On the other hand he could feel I was very serious and that I trusted God very hard. And he agreed that our religious education is very bad, so he kind of understood I have issues with my current study. He suggested that, if I really want to stop, maybe my priest friend could come to talk to my parents. Anyway, he's going to pray for me.

 

This was very confusing, because he gave me such a worldly view on things. It's only because I insisted he started to look for other possibilities. I do have to tell my parents something, and soon. As for now, they think I'm preparing for my exams in two weeks. But today I received e-mail from my SJM-friend, in wich he invites me again to accompany him to the SJM-boarding school wednesday and thursday. So I'll have to tell or I can't go. And I really want to go...

Edited December 28, 2012 by NonNovi

[ChristinaTherese]

Oh, Novi.... :nunpray:

 

I'm not really in a postion to give advice right now, but I can say this: The only reason I've ever spoken to my parents (and I'm too much of a coward to talk to my father, so I've only talked to my mother) about either becoming Catholic or my discernment is that Jesus basically commanded me to. He seems to be softening their hearts, as well. I'd say to just trust and obey, and pray to God for wisdom in what to say. If He wants you to talk to your parents now, He will give you support as you need it, just as He gave Moses the words to say.

 

I'll pray for you. :nunpray:

[NonNovi]

Little update: Just received a call from my friend. He was a little bit worried because I didn't answer his e-mail yet and wanted to know how I was doing. He confirmed that I'm still welcome at the monastery any time I want. I told him I might just take that offer after I tell my parents, because I'll probably want to be out of their sight for a while. He adviced not to delay things any further, to bite through and tell them, if not it will only get worse (and he knows what he is talking about, it took him almost a year before he told his parents).

Yesterday I bought a German dictionary (actually 2, one in each direction) and a grammar book. I speak enough German to understand a lot and to speak with people, but if I want to enter in Austria I'll have to improve. Otherwise studying philosophy and theology will be a disaster later on ;)

 

Thank you, Christina Thérèse :priest: I didn't think of Moses yet, but it's a good comparison. Lately I can identify myself to so many bible verses and steps in Jesus' life. Right now I'm like the suffering Lord. I prayed so much in anxiety, but want to do whatever God's will is. The waiting and not telling is like being whipped and beaten, it hurts more and more. Every remark about my future from my family is like a thorn pressed in my head. And now I'm carrying my cross up the hill, towards the moment of truth. There I'll have to be the child Jesus telling his parents He belongs in the house of his Father...

[petitpèlerin]

NonNovi, it sounds like things are moving along. So happy for you, and prayers for you.

 

Do you have any books in German on philosophy or theology? Or any book with a Christian vocabulary (such as a saint's writing)? Every subject has its own vocabulary so it's helpful to read things that will teach you the words you'll actually be using. Just an idea.

[juchu]

My two cents of advice: 

 

Talk to the vocaction director of the order what they think, what they want. I was ready to drop grad school 1 1/2 before finishing it, because I so wanted to enter. But my community said to finish. So I did. Was not easy, but still I took it as their decision, lived my life until entrance also very fullfilling with a lot of things and a lot of maturing that would not have happened if I had entered earlier. 

 

Figure out how long the credits you earned towards your degree would still be "valid". And have that certified somehow, so that if you discern that this order is not your vocation, you have something to start on. It would not mean finishing this degree that you are clearly not interested in, but maybe some credit can get transfered, etc. 

 

So far to the practical side..... Otherwise: Pray! 

[nikita92]

Who do you want to serve? God or your parents wishes?

[AccountDeleted]

Who do you want to serve? God or your parents wishes?

 

Dangerous territory here because what we perceive as God's will might just be our own stubborn nature insisting. That's why spiritual direction and guidance is important, especially for a young person who is under obedience to their parents. Even Jesus went back home with Mary and Joseph and obeyed them. And He knew God's will better than anyone.

 

Just saying...

[NonNovi]

Dangerous territory here because what we perceive as God's will might just be our own stubborn nature insisting. That's why spiritual direction and guidance is important, especially for a young person who is under obedience to their parents. Even Jesus went back home with Mary and Joseph and obeyed them. And He knew God's will better than anyone.

 

Just saying...

I know, that's why I'm so hesitant. But on the other hand, I'm not entering right now. I just want to take a break for a while to figure out what I'm supposed to do. And I want to do that in a place where I am at ease, i.e. in a (almost empty) monastery with a good friend. There I can make myself usefull, have time to think and most important, time and location to pray. And of course a priest for spiritual guidance right there.

 

I can still come back any time and return to college if I want to. And if I really want to enter, I'll have had a little bit of preparation. 

 

Even Jesus left the house at some point in His life. I'm 24, I have to decide what I want to do with my life.

[petitpèlerin]

I've been living in a similar quiet, monastic setting on the other side of the Atlantic from my family and my life, doing the same thing, and I can say it's been extremely helpful. I went home and lived with my parents this summer, and it was good, but I couldn't wait to get back to my quiet little life again, where I have space to breathe and try to listen to what God may be whispering to me. I've learned that this sort of living situation is not something that can be made permanent; at some point one has continue along, choose one way life or another, and eventually make a commitment; one can't simply capitalize forever on the fruits of someone else's family or community (like the houseguest who just won't leave); but for a time, as a transition, for discernment, it's a tremendous blessing, and it's a kind of hospitality that some religious communities are sometimes in a position to provide to someone in need of it, and they're happy to do so. (I was just talking to a friend last night about this sort of thing so it's on my mind.)

 

It sounds like it would be just right for you right now. Since you're 24 you have no obligation to be "obedient" to your parents, but to respect and honor them, as it sounds like you do indeed.

Edited December 30, 2012 by petitpèlerin

[NonNovi]

I told my parents, I'm shaking right now. First my mother, she expected it but wasn't prepared for this. And she doesn't like the idea of me becoming a priest. My father didn't want to listen to what I had to say. He said: I don't think I want to hear this now, tell me later, I'm going for a walk...

 

Also didn't realise it's the feast of the Holy Family, until I heard the gospel about Jesus in the Temple, saying exactly what I said a few posts earlier (there were a bunch of red roses on the altar by the way, St. Therese is still with me, that's a little bit comforting).

 

Please Pham, pray for me! I have some rough days ahead I think...