theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) 1.) Everything you see in the movies is completely wrong in a very messed up way. You will not conquer the handsome player and have him follow you to the airport proclaiming his endless love and devotion from the aisles of your Boeing 757. He will not stop your marriage to another man. You will not change him. Let me say that again because it's important. You will not change him. If he is a ladies' man now, he will be everyday of his life and your kindness and moral purity already does not matter to him. Nice guys finish last. You do want a nice guy don't you? Good, because it makes your work much easier... look for the guy who is finishing last, and there he is, your prince charming. Maybe he's got mustard stains on his nintendo sweatshirt, but he's all yours and nobody else's. That is step one. 2.) Recognize potential. Marriage is a preparation for Heaven. It is two people engaging in daily combat in order to become more compassionate, assertive, and to have better bathroom etiquette. It takes a lifetime of communication to get to where God wants us to be, but a lot of women end up alone because they want the end result first. They want Prince Charming right now, and they're not willing to give a man a chance to learn how to fill those shoes. The perfect man does not exist, and it is a good thing, because you are not the perfect woman. 3.) Use short simple sentences. Men respond well to three word commands. Tell every man how you want to be treated, and when you discover one who respects you then you have a possibility. Make a list. These are the men who respect me. Cross off the ones who don't have mustard stains on their sweatshirts. And then you have narrowed it down. 4.) Presume nothing. Dating is a toxic way to meet a man, because really all it is really is you and him and whatever lies you both want to tell about yourselves. Men will play with your expectations. Don't let them. This is the most important part. You do not know a man until you know his family and his friends, and until he knows yours. You don't know how he treats women until you hear the stories that his sisters and cousins will tell you about him. Watch how he interacts with his mother. Watch how he treats yours. Don't open your heart to him until you know who is. Don't open the door to him. Don't open anything to him. You will only get hurt. 5.) Be comfortable to telling him to buy you an engagement ring, because we're all idiots. Edited December 15, 2012 by theculturewarrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Nice guys finish last. I do not think this is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 "Nice guys finish last." There's a problem with this idea. "Nice guys" are men who tend to form friendships with women. They treat women like people, not objects. But then they get angry when they ask their female friend out and she rejects him. He then goes on to complain about all the stupid women who only go for "arrogant jerks." What they don't realize is that from the woman's perspective, they had a great platonic friendship with a man, and when he made a romantic advance she rejected him because she didn't feel the same way. When the man gets angry, the woman realizes that the man was just pretending to be friends with her so that he could get in her pants. "Nice guys" are also men who lack self-confidence. Women don't like "arrogant jerks." They want to be with someone with confidence, not someone who is insecure. I also reject the idea that all men are stupid. They aren't, and it's degrading to them to think so. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r2Dtoo Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 The only way you're going to find a decent man is if you get a sassy gay friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 "Nice guys finish last." There's a problem with this idea. "Nice guys" are men who tend to form friendships with women. They treat women like people, not objects. But then they get angry when they ask their female friend out and she rejects him. He then goes on to complain about all the stupid women who only go for "arrogant jerks." What they don't realize is that from the woman's perspective, they had a great platonic friendship with a man, and when he made a romantic advance she rejected him because she didn't feel the same way. When the man gets angry, the woman realizes that the man was just pretending to be friends with her so that he could get in her pants. "Nice guys" are also men who lack self-confidence. Women don't like "arrogant jerks." They want to be with someone with confidence, not someone who is insecure. I also reject the idea that all men are stupid. They aren't, and it's degrading to them to think so. :) Very much agreed. The 'nice guys' people think about when they say "nice guys finish last" are not really that nice at all. Those guys are passive aggressive cowards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 "Nice guys finish last." There's a problem with this idea. "Nice guys" are men who tend to form friendships with women. They treat women like people, not objects. But then they get angry when they ask their female friend out and she rejects him. He then goes on to complain about all the stupid women who only go for "arrogant jerks." What they don't realize is that from the woman's perspective, they had a great platonic friendship with a man, and when he made a romantic advance she rejected him because she didn't feel the same way. When the man gets angry, the woman realizes that the man was just pretending to be friends with her so that he could get in her pants. "Nice guys" are also men who lack self-confidence. Women don't like "arrogant jerks." They want to be with someone with confidence, not someone who is insecure. I also reject the idea that all men are stupid. They aren't, and it's degrading to them to think so. :) Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) Very much agreed. The 'nice guys' people think about when they say "nice guys finish last" are not really that nice at all. Those guys are passive aggressive cowards. Wow! You two cut a wide swathe, don't you! :) Edited December 15, 2012 by theculturewarrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) Alright, ladies, I was wrong. Leave the nice guys alone. LOL My argument has been discredited. Edited December 15, 2012 by theculturewarrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Wow! You two cut a wide swathe, don't you! :) I am allowed to say it because I was like those 'nice guys' once, and it was garbage. It is like how people in a particular racial group can call each other racial slurs, but nobody else can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 "Nice guys finish last." There's a problem with this idea. "Nice guys" are men who tend to form friendships with women. They treat women like people, not objects. But then they get angry when they ask their female friend out and she rejects him. He then goes on to complain about all the stupid women who only go for "arrogant jerks." What they don't realize is that from the woman's perspective, they had a great platonic friendship with a man, and when he made a romantic advance she rejected him because she didn't feel the same way. When the man gets angry, the woman realizes that the man was just pretending to be friends with her so that he could get in her pants. "Nice guys" are also men who lack self-confidence. Women don't like "arrogant jerks." They want to be with someone with confidence, not someone who is insecure. I also reject the idea that all men are stupid. They aren't, and it's degrading to them to think so. :) I just want to applaud the last sentence. So often I hear constant jokes (Yes, on here and everywhere else) about how men are stupid and women have to deal with their stupidity on a regular basis. It's degrading. It makes us feel insignificant, even if you are joking. We will start to think it is true if we hear it enough. Degrading men is just as bad as degrading women. We are all equal and should respect each other as so. So men shouldn't degrade women by turning them into sex objects just as women shouldn't degrade men into stupid barbarians that are useful for killing bugs and helping procreate, but nothing more and you spend your entire lives cleaning up after the messes we cause with our stupidity. And I too disagree with the list. I'm not quite sure what "nice guys finish last" means, but if I had it explained I would probably disagree. This thread gave me flashbacks of when I made a similar list in a thread. I would probably blow everything on it to pieces if I re-read it. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r2Dtoo Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I just want to applaud the last sentence. So often I hear constant jokes (Yes, on here and everywhere else) about how men are stupid and women have to deal with their stupidity on a regular basis. It's degrading. It makes us feel insignificant, even if you are joking. We will start to think it is true if we hear it enough. Degrading men is just as bad as degrading women. We are all equal and should respect each other as so. So men shouldn't degrade women by turning them into sex objects just as women shouldn't degrade men into stupid barbarians that are useful for killing bugs and helping procreate, but nothing more and you spend your entire lives cleaning up after the messes we cause with our stupidity. And I too disagree with the list. I'm not quite sure what "nice guys finish last" means, but if I had it explained I would probably disagree. This thread gave me flashbacks of when I made a similar list in a thread. I would probably blow everything on it to pieces if I re-read it. :P See what I mean about too much testosterone? Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) Women and men are the same boat as far as this is concerned. It just like Nihil Obstat says, I can call myself an idiot for being a man, but not others. I am sensing a lack of self-awareness here, and since I have ruffled enough feathers for today and I am going to table this for a while. You have all made me smile though, and thank you for that. Edited December 15, 2012 by theculturewarrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 "Nice guys finish last." There's a problem with this idea. "Nice guys" are men who tend to form friendships with women. They treat women like people, not objects. But then they get angry when they ask their female friend out and she rejects him. He then goes on to complain about all the stupid women who only go for "arrogant jerks." What they don't realize is that from the woman's perspective, they had a great platonic friendship with a man, and when he made a romantic advance she rejected him because she didn't feel the same way. When the man gets angry, the woman realizes that the man was just pretending to be friends with her so that he could get in her pants. "Nice guys" are also men who lack self-confidence. Women don't like "arrogant jerks." They want to be with someone with confidence, not someone who is insecure. I also reject the idea that all men are stupid. They aren't, and it's degrading to them to think so. :) OK, so that's confusing. If you want romance you do or do not make friends first? I was always told to be friends first, no matter what, but you're making it sound like that's a bad idea. I don't get it. Or is your point that a man should make friends and then always let the woman go first? That makes even less sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Women and men are the same boat as far as this is concerned. It just like Nihil Obstat says, I can call myself an idiot for being man, but not others. I am sensing a lack of self-awareness here, and since I have ruffled enough feathers and I go table this for a while. You have all made me smile though, and thank you for that. Is that really all you got out of my post? That people within the same group can call each other racial slurs? :cry: I need to work on emphasizing the important points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 You don't want to know what I got out of this thread, Nihil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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