Gabriela Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (1) I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Westminster Catechism, but it begins: "The chief end of man is to glorify God..." I heard this story on the radio a while ago: A boy was in catechism class, and his teacher was helping them to memorize the Westminster Catechism. When the boy got home, his father asked him what he had learned at school that day. He said that he had learned the Westminster Catechism by heart. His father was surprised that a boy so young could memorize such a document. Quite proud, he asked the boy to recite it for him. The boy began: "The Chief Indian man is to glorify God..." _________________________________________________ (2) A priest opened a show on Catholic radio with this story: "Last summer I went to visit a family in which the parents had just been received into the Church. As I sat around their dinner table, I noticed their youngest son was staring at me a lot. Especially at my collar. They lived in a remote location, so I figured this kid had probably never seen a priest before, certainly not in person. I decided to try to break the ice, to relieve the tension, since he was staring pretty intensely. I asked him, 'Son, I bet you can't tell me what it says on the back of this collar,' and I moved to take it off. On the back of every priest's collar is written, 'Wash in cold water and dry flat'. I held it in my hand, hiding the laundering instructions. 'Yep, sure do', the kid said. 'Really?' I asked, 'I bet you don't'. 'I do', he repeated. 'Ok', I challenged him, 'What's it say?' 'Kills fleas and ticks for up to 6 months'. That definitely broke the ice." _________________________________________________ Got similar stories? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) "Oh, my God, I am hardly sorry for having offended you..." Not quite the Act of Contrition as intended. Edited December 12, 2012 by Luigi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 "Oh, my God, I am hardly sorry for having offended you..." Not quite the Act of Contrition as intended. That's what I thought it was for a very long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I read in a magazine a story of a little boy who was about to make his first confession. His grandpa gave him advice, saying, that he just told all of the bad things that he did to the priest. The boy sighed in relief, exclaiming, "Good, I haven't done anything bad to the priest." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 This is a true story. My brother made his first confession, and later Father came up to my parents laughing and told them they needed to explain the concept of confession a little better to him. Instead of saying things like "I hit my brother" (He used hypothetical sins, by the way. Nothing was revealed), he would say "My brother Miles was being annoying, so I had to hit him." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Back in the days when Mass was in Latin and my aunt was young - 10 or so... She went to church (they lived half a block from church, so she could walk there on her own) but was a long time coming home. When she did get back home, Grandma asked her what took her so long. My aunt said, "We had to say the old rotten doughnuts." Grandma said, "The WHAT?!" My aunt said, "You know... St. Agnes, old rotten doughnuts. St. Cecelia, old rotten doughnuts." The ten-year-old's version of "Ora pro nobis." She swears it's a true story. One more reason I prefer Mass in the vernacular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Once a man died in Church. So he went to heaven and met St. Peter. Jk. There is no heaven. :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I have always wondered how The Apostles were able to get a Honda in New Testament times...Cause the book of Acts tells us that the Holy Spirit descended when they were all in one Accord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I have always wondered how The Apostles were able to get a Honda in New Testament times...Cause the book of Acts tells us that the Holy Spirit descended when they were all in one Accord. Clearly you doubt the capabilities of Japanese ingenuity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r2Dtoo Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Because Jesus said "Man cannot live on bread alone", is why the Catholic Church hands out free booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToJesusMyHeart Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 "Hell Mary, full of grace..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I had a friend (brought up with no religion at all) who transferred to my (Catholic) school, and after his first experience of Mass, he asked me 'Why does everyone turn to each other half way through and say "Pleased to meet you?"' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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