Cloisters For Older Vocations?

[Sponsa-Christi]

There’s also the Poor Clare nuns in Wappinger’s Falls, New York, U.S.A.: http://artyswebdesign.netfirms.com/poorclare/index.html (Unfortunately, this isn’t a really great website, but it at least has their contact information.) They are a lovely group of Sisters, and I know they’re open to 40+ vocations.

 

This particular monastery isn’t especially “traditional,” and their lifestyle is not as austere as many of the more well-known Poor Clare Colletine monasteries. For example, the Sisters wear modified habits and shoes, eat meat, and don’t have a grille in their parlor.

 

But, they are faithful to the magisterium, they love the Church, and in addition to Mass and the Divine Office they also have two full hours of Eucharistic Adoration every day.

[nikita92]

Just got back from my retreat this afternoon. It was very peaceful and insightful! I just wanted to let everyone know, that I wrote down the places that were suggested and also Nunsense Thank you for opening my eyes and for the suggestions. I guess because of only the few communities that I am aware of (around here) wouldnt take older vocations..I didnt think to at least ask for some guidence or imput from them. I will now! ;)

[OnlySunshine]

Just got back from my retreat this afternoon. It was very peaceful and insightful! I just wanted to let everyone know, that I wrote down the places that were suggested and also Nunsense Thank you for opening my eyes and for the suggestions. I guess because of only the few communities that I am aware of (around here) wouldnt take older vocations..I didnt think to at least ask for some guidence or imput from them. I will now! ;)

 

nikita92, if you need any help looking up more communities, please let me know!  I am a wiz at research and I LOVE doing vocation research.  :)

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I would suggest that you figure out where you belong rather than figuring out who might accept you based on your age.  If you're in the right place, acceptance may come.

 

I base this on a friend of mine who joined the Poor Clares.  The monastery she joined states that they don't accept women over 35.  She's 20 years over that and they accepted her.

 

As she went through RCIA she discovered the Poor Clares and fell in love with them.  She definitely felt called to their way of life and to the particular monastery.  She talked with them and they were willing to talk with her but made no promises.  After she was received into the Church they told her she had to wait two years before they would even consider her.  During that time she continued to go to Mass with them and talk with them from time to time.  They encouraged her to visit other monasteries which she did, but was certain about where she belonged.

 

Ultimately they accepted her and she is now a novice. 

 

It was clearly a good match even though she didn't meet their ideal requirements.  But that was where she belonged and everyone could see it.

 

I see people suggesting that this group of Benedictines or that group of Dominicans or some other group of Carmelites accept older vocations.  And that's nice, but if you're called to be a Poor Clare those others don't matter.  If you're called to be a Benedictine, then keep knocking on their door, not their Domnican neighbors just because they'll let you in.

[Eowyn]

I would suggest that you figure out where you belong rather than figuring out who might accept you based on your age.  If you're in the right place, acceptance may come.

 

I base this on a friend of mine who joined the Poor Clares.  The monastery she joined states that they don't accept women over 35.  She's 20 years over that and they accepted her.

 

As she went through RCIA she discovered the Poor Clares and fell in love with them.  She definitely felt called to their way of life and to the particular monastery.  She talked with them and they were willing to talk with her but made no promises.  After she was received into the Church they told her she had to wait two years before they would even consider her.  During that time she continued to go to Mass with them and talk with them from time to time.  They encouraged her to visit other monasteries which she did, but was certain about where she belonged.

 

Ultimately they accepted her and she is now a novice. 

 

It was clearly a good match even though she didn't meet their ideal requirements.  But that was where she belonged and everyone could see it.

 

I see people suggesting that this group of Benedictines or that group of Dominicans or some other group of Carmelites accept older vocations.  And that's nice, but if you're called to be a Poor Clare those others don't matter.  If you're called to be a Benedictine, then keep knocking on their door, not their Domnican neighbors just because they'll let you in.

 

I wish I could give this props.  If God wills it - it will happen.

[Lil'Nun]

This is wonderful. But sadly finding a convent that is even willing to talk with you if you are outside their age range is hard.

I know this as I have contacted a few convents and started communication only to get a brick wall when it comes to age. The conversation suddenly stops.

I can understand why, especially when so many convents have older sisters they have to care for already, but it is very painful when you have started to fell attracted to the Convent.

I have had this happen a few too many times, so now I ask up-front. How can they get to know you and see if you are genuinely called when you cannot even visit due to your age?

There are some lovely Convents out there that consider women based on their merits alone. To be honest I cannot see myself being happy anywhere that sets strict age limits anyway, as I firmly believe God calls all types, all ages. Therefore I think I would be unsuited to a convent that sees age as a problem.

 

 

[beatitude]

Lil' Nun, I see you are in the UK. Have you looked at the beautiful Poor Clare Colettine monastery at Hawarden? In their Frequently Asked Questions they have one on age:

 

 

What is the best age to enter?
When God calls you!

 

So I think it's safe to say that they wouldn't turn you away when they hear how old you are. :P Their site is very helpful for vocation discernment even if you don't end up contacting them - have a look round.

[Eowyn]

I'm going to make a suggestion - anyone up for a yahoo group for us oldies?  

[SuscipeMeDomine]

This is wonderful. But sadly finding a convent that is even willing to talk with you if you are outside their age range is hard.

I know this as I have contacted a few convents and started communication only to get a brick wall when it comes to age. The conversation suddenly stops.

 

I wonder if things might be different if you got to know the community and they got to know you first.

 

Again, looking at how things happened with my friend...

 

Before she was even received into the Church, she started attending daily Mass at the Poor Clare monastery.  They got used to seeing her there before there was ever a conversation about her entering.  When she did talk with the abbess (I believe that's who it was) there was already the start of a relationship.

 

Even if the convent or monastery wasn't close enough for you to be able to attend Mass or a prayer time, I wonder if you might go on a retreat for a few days and visit that way.  Just as a way of getting to know each other in a more casual way before you pursue a vocation with them.

 

And maybe I'm completely off!  This is just a suggestion.

[Lil'Nun]

I'm going to make a suggestion - anyone up for a yahoo group for us oldies?  

 

Yes! :)

[Lil'Nun]

I wonder if things might be different if you got to know the community and they got to know you first.

 

Again, looking at how things happened with my friend...

 

Before she was even received into the Church, she started attending daily Mass at the Poor Clare monastery.  They got used to seeing her there before there was ever a conversation about her entering.  When she did talk with the abbess (I believe that's who it was) there was already the start of a relationship.

 

Even if the convent or monastery wasn't close enough for you to be able to attend Mass or a prayer time, I wonder if you might go on a retreat for a few days and visit that way.  Just as a way of getting to know each other in a more casual way before you pursue a vocation with them.

 

And maybe I'm completely off!  This is just a suggestion.

 

In my case. I would want a community that was open to aspirants of all ages. So it would make no difference. However, it may well be worth trying what you suggest. 

[HisAlone]

Wow, can I relate!

I'm young in spirit, though not when I look in the mirror!

I greatly appreciate the thoughts and advice that I am finding here at VS.

 

I heard Our Lord call me two years ago, but was not in a position to respond to Him.

Happily, I am now, and have recently been released by my SD to begin communicating with different orders.

I have spent a lot of time looking into the different orders and have felt attracted to each different spirituality and charism, but now that it's "real" It seems like the options are very few and that I have been a bit of a Polyanna in thinking that age might not really matter.

The other thing that is limiting is that I belong to a Latin Mass parish (FSSP- which I love) and traditional religious orders in communion with the Church are few and far between.

I think as time progresses some orders will transition to the Tridentine Mass and Divine Office in Latin, but it will take time and I'm not getting any younger!

 

Well, there are my frustrations.  Probably not much different from the rest of you.

 

I will begin praying for all of us "oldies" tonight!

 

BTW:  Don't forget about the Great O Antiphons which begin with Vespers tonight and continue through 23 December - They're beautiful.

I don't know if any of you follow Fr. Z's blog, but he is writing about them each day.  Here's a link for today..."O Wisdom"

 

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2012/12/wdtprs-o-antiphons-17-december-o-sapientia/

 

 

[BarbTherese]

Wow, can I relate!

I'm young in spirit, though not when I look in the mirror!

I greatly appreciate the thoughts and advice that I am finding here at VS.

 

I heard Our Lord call me two years ago, but was not in a position to respond to Him.

Happily, I am now, and have recently been released by my SD to begin communicating with different orders.

I have spent a lot of time looking into the different orders and have felt attracted to each different spirituality and charism, but now that it's "real" It seems like the options are very few and that I have been a bit of a Polyanna in thinking that age might not really matter.

The other thing that is limiting is that I belong to a Latin Mass parish (FSSP- which I love) and traditional religious orders in communion with the Church are few and far between.

I think as time progresses some orders will transition to the Tridentine Mass and Divine Office in Latin, but it will take time and I'm not getting any younger!

 

Well, there are my frustrations.  Probably not much different from the rest of you.

 

I will begin praying for all of us "oldies" tonight!

 

BTW:  Don't forget about the Great O Antiphons which begin with Vespers tonight and continue through 23 December - They're beautiful.

I don't know if any of you follow Fr. Z's blog, but he is writing about them each day.  Here's a link for today..."O Wisdom"

 

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2012/12/wdtprs-o-antiphons-17-december-o-sapientia/

 

 

Excellent link to the O Antiphons and one to keep on file - thank you for posting!

[AccountDeleted]

I wonder if things might be different if you got to know the community and they got to know you first.

 

Again, looking at how things happened with my friend...

 

Before she was even received into the Church, she started attending daily Mass at the Poor Clare monastery.  They got used to seeing her there before there was ever a conversation about her entering.  When she did talk with the abbess (I believe that's who it was) there was already the start of a relationship.

 

Even if the convent or monastery wasn't close enough for you to be able to attend Mass or a prayer time, I wonder if you might go on a retreat for a few days and visit that way.  Just as a way of getting to know each other in a more casual way before you pursue a vocation with them.

 

And maybe I'm completely off!  This is just a suggestion.

 

This is an excellent suggestion. The reason I say this is that entering a community isn't the same as looking for a job where we write down our list of requirements and expectations and if the community doesn't fit all of our preconceived ideas we reject it. It is about joining a family, starting a relationship that will last for the rest of one's life 24/7. There is no going home at the end of the day to our 'real life', sitting down to a glass of wine and a little TV or chatting with our family about the day and our co-workers. It's about learning how to love and to live with others who will become our family. There will be sisters who have little habits that drive us nuts, sisters we adore and sisters who can sometimes be cranky and irritating and some who find us a trial with all our little faults. But they will also be sisters who pray for us and support us our whole lives and who know that we are there for the same reason they are - to grow in love for God and each other.

 

Sometimes when a community gets to know someone over time, they don't look at the entrance requirements the same way as they do for those individuals they don't know well. We might have our list of ideal traits for a community but they also have their list of ideal traits for an entrant. But even if the ideal entrant finds their ideal community, once they enter, it could just turn out that the relationship doesn't work. Because it isn't about appearances - that is just how we judge as humans. God judges by the heart, and He has prepared a place for each one of us, and the place He wants us to be may not look like our ideal convent and we just might not look like be their ideal entrant!

 

I gave a friend of mine the same advice. Instead of hitting the community in the face with 'Hi, I'm such and such an age, will you consider me?' I suggested she go there for Mass a few times, Meet the Prioress and/or Novice Mistress. Volunteer to help out with things around the convent. Become a friend and benefactor to them. Ask the Prioress if someone there could give you vocational advice, maybe meet with you occasionally to help you discern. In other words, date them before you ask them to marry you. The suggestion might even come from them - 'Have you considered applying here?'

 

I'm not saying that this is any guarantee but there are no guarantees in this life. At at least you get to spend time learning more about the community, probably getting to know some of them, and even discerning if it actually is someplace you think you could fit in. God works in really mysterious ways.

 

Just don't put too many restrictions on what you think is the 'ideal community' because then you are doing the same thing some of them do - not being open to the Spirit. And trust God.

 

PS - One of the things that really touched my heart before I even applied to re-enter Wolverhampton Carmel was when one of the sisters asked me if I wanted to stay for supper in the parlor. I said someting about not wanting them to go to any trouble for me but she replied, 'Oh, but you're family.' I nearly cried. And I realised then that it's that relationship that is going to help sustain me during the tough times.

Edited December 18, 2012 by nunsense

[HisAlone]

Suscipe & Nunsense,

What wonderful, hopeful advice...thank you.