OnlySunshine Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) This evening, my mom and I got a shock when an elderly parishioner told someone that we were the women who didn't let him park in "his spot." This happened two months ago and I cannot believe he is telling people that we did something wrong when it was his fault all along. I'll try to sum it up because I need to know what to do. My mom and I went to Bible Study and she is disabled so we parked in a handicapped spot near the parish office. She has a disabled tag and is fully within her rights to park in these reserved spots. I had the door opened so I could get my stuff out and noticed an elderly man pull into the striped part between the handicapped spaces (parking illegally). I told him that was not a parking space as charitable as I could. It was extremely tight for one and I was worried that he would scratch my mom's car. He almost hit me twice because he would not wait for me to move to the side. When I closed the door, I went around the other side to get to the front of the car. This is when he proceeded to tell my mom that I scratched his truck. I noticed when he was pulling in that these scratches were already there. My mom opened the door because, if I indeed scratched his car, his red paint would be on the inside of the door. There was NOTHING there! The man would not let it go and told my mom that we needed to pay for the damage and that was "his" spot and he parked there all the time. :rolleyes: My mom told him that she would be happy to call the police but he would more than likely get a ticket for parking in an illegal spot, especially when other disabled spaces were open. He walked on and said, "JUST FORGET IT!" I would be the first to admit if I purposely or accidentally scratched his truck but that did not happen. I'm worried that he has been blabbing this to other parishioners and I don't appreciate his lies. I almost went up to him this evening to say something but did not for fear that I wouldn't handle it properly. Plus, I don't want to add fuel to the fire, so to speak. Should I just let this go? We are very active in the parish so I don't need other parishioners thinking we are awful people who damaged this guy's truck on Church property and refused to pay for it. If he was that worried about it, he should have called the cops, but he did not. :hmmm: Edited December 8, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Let the fire die. Chances are if he treats you like this, he treats others in a similar fashion so I wouldn't be overly concerned about him ruining your reputation. Time will heal your reputation if any damage is sustained. What your mom and you did was good at that moment when he accused you of damaging his car. You threatened to call the cops and the situation was defused. There is nothing more you should do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted December 8, 2012 Author Share Posted December 8, 2012 Let the fire die. Chances are if he treats you like this, he treats others in a similar fashion so I wouldn't be overly concerned about him ruining your reputation. Time will heal your reputation if any damage is sustained. What your mom and you did was good at that moment when he accused you of damaging his car. You threatened to call the cops and the situation was defused. There is nothing more you should do. Ok, thank you. The moment I almost walked up to him to say something, my conscience spoke up and said "No, move on. Don't start another argument." He should not be driving, period. The way he parked tonight in the parking lot shows that he doesn't know where his back wheels are and that is probably how he got the scratches in the first place -- he rubbed against another car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 I agree. Let it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted December 8, 2012 Author Share Posted December 8, 2012 I kind of wished my mom had called the cops at that time because he really should have gotten a ticket -- not to be uncharitable -- because he drives very poorly and doesn't follow the rules. It's too late now, but we learned our lesson and if he does it again (God forbid!), we will definitely be dialing the police department... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Just let it go and see if it dies out. If it doesn't talk to your pastor about what you should do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the171 Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Take a nail to the side of his car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Next time you hear him say this, apologize. Ask him to forgive you. Take his hurt and anger from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 You know, Mater, I've been thinking about this. I'm wondering if maybe you shouldn't talk to the pastor about it anyway - not to demand he do something, but so the pastor can keep an eye on him.. I'm saying this because sometimes seniors who are starting to have cognitive problems can do things like this. It may be part of a bigger pattern or picture. If the pastor watches discretely, he may be able to put more pieces together;.this guy might need some help... If he does, that might be the most loving thing you can do for him; if not, the pastor will see that it was an isolated incident (anyone can have a bad day). But I would NOT confront the guy.... My 2 cents... and I'll be praying for all of you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Next time you hear him say this, apologize. Ask him to forgive you. Take his hurt and anger from him. This. As hard as it can to be to swallow our pride and apologize (especially when we feel we have done nothing wrong)- but in the long run it is do much better for all parties involved. So much energy can be expended uselessly. :) If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men- Romans 12:18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 It's always amazing to me how quickly "the mass has ended, let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord" goes out the window for parishioners once everyone's out in the crowded parking lot and behind the wheel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Hi, Mater, I would PM you with this, but you have turned off that function. You might want to check this out -- it's practical, but it also explains why I am concerned that something else could be going on with this guy. http://www.assistedseniorliving.net/caregiving/helping-angry-senior/ Praying for all of you.... and especially that he be treated with all the loving respect in the world... and you and your mom as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 It's always amazing to me how quickly "the mass has ended, let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord" goes out the window for parishioners once everyone's out in the crowded parking lot and behind the wheel. Yeah, I usually at least wait until we are merging onto the freeway. Srsly, some people just have no sense of charity. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 If the guy acts like this all the time, he may just be a jerk. If this is a new behavior, maybe you should talk to the pastor. Some of the first signs I had with my grandfather and my father when dementia started with them was out of context anger. It would happen when something was moved they were used to be a certain place, or if something happened that ruined their routine. My quiet grandfather put his hand through a wall when his keys got misplaced. My father who never raised his voice to me, screamed over the phone for me to come get him when he got lost coming to pick me up. Both reactions were out of the normal, out of context for the situation, but had at their roots a feeling of loss of control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Tell him at least he's close to not having troubles like this, anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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