Disabilities And Having Children

[AnneLine]

Really good question, TheCultureWarrior.  And VERY appropriate for Advent... when we await the coming of the ONE AND ONLY perfect Child.  The rest of us... .one way or another, not so much....

 

I have some hereditary disabilities.  Others have a lot more, but I have enough to impact my life every day of the year.  Sometimes it is a pain, usually it's not that big a deal....  In retrospect, the signs were all there from the time I was a baby... we just didn't know enough to put them together. 

 

The extent of my problems became clearer when i was a young adult.  And it was a shock.... and I was angry.   I guess I kind of blamed my mother.... probably said some inappropriate things.  Kids can be thoughtless sometimes.....

 

My mother handled it really well.  She reminded me that she had wanted a bunch of kids, had lost a baby in utero, and that I was the only one who survived.  And she had taken meds to keep me alive, and some of my problems were side effects of those meds.  And some were related to the stuff she ate, drank, smoked, etc. when she was carrying me -- and that NOW we know cause problems for babies.  But they didn't know back then... 

 

And it kicked up a larger discussion.

 

She continued, "  You know, AnneLine, my youngest brother was born right after World War I.  It was a severe economic depression time... Money was.. non-existent.  My parents hadn't had children for a LONG time, and thought they were barren.   And had made peace with that, although they were sad.   Then, suddenly, BAM!  they had four children in less than four years.  Finances were BEYOND tight."

 

My mom paused, and then continued "And then one day I heard two of the ladies in the town pointing to my mother and youngest brother, and they said, 'isn't that the one they wanted Mae to get rid of?'   And," she continued, "I realized they were talking about MY BABY BROTHER, Elmer.   It wasn't some unknown bunch of cells, or even an anonymous baby, it was MY BABY BROTHER.  From that day on, I have NEVER been open to an abortion.  So even if we had known you would have problems, we would NEVER have 'gotten rid' of you."

 

She then went on to look me square in the eye and said, "AnneLine, if we had known before you were born, would you have preferred to not have been born?"

 

I just stared at her.   Hm.   Well, actually that really IS the question, isn't it.  That was ME she was talking about.   ME. 

 

I rather like being alive....

 

And that has colored my thinking in an obvious way.  THAT is the answer in my opinion... if we are a Church that believes in the value of life, any life, and specifically each and every ONE of our own lives, we need to love and cherish each of us, flawed as we might be -- are - in one way or another (because EVERY ONE of us has things that aren't 'normal', i.e., just like everyone else.... standard issue.... prototype produced.  EVERY ONE of us in our uniqueness as strengths and weekenesses.  That is the way it works. 

 

So.. yeah, I think that we absolutely need to honor that if God sends us kids, we love and cherish and are there for each and every one of our brothers and sisters, from conception to natural death.....

 

Now, do we always do that, as individuals and/or as Church?  Sadly, no.   And that is what confessionals are for.....

 

 

Edited December 8, 2012 by AnneLine