Nunsense Update And Countdown

[AccountDeleted]

I just finished my online UK visa application and have an appointment for next Tuesday to go into the British High Commission for my biometric data capture. The visa can take anywhere from 2 weeks to several months to receive but they asked when I intended to travel so I optimistically said the 30th of December. It might be through sooner or later, but that gives me something to work towards.

 

There is no doubt that I will miss out on the Golden Jubilee celebrations of my Novice Mistress, and Christmas, but both my Prioress and Novice Mistress have been staying in touch with me and I feel as if I am with them all in spirit anyway. My Novice Mistress has had to take over the Sacristy work and she is looking forward to my return, which gives me hope that I will be allowed to go back to working in the Sacristy when I return. I love it so much and feel so blessed when I can do it.

 

I feel as if I am coming to the end of a very long journey of searching, praying and hoping that God would show me where I could serve Him best, and will soon be starting a new journey in a life of prayer and silence and solitude. Recently I have been shown that the best thing I can do for anyone I love is to pray for them, and that my life in Carmel will not only be for myself, but also for all those I care about. St Therese was right in that the work of a Carmelite nun is very much a missionary one, even from within the cloister.

 

I know I have done this so many times before and I wouldn't blame for a moment anyone who doubts that this will last much longer than any of my previous attempts. But it doesn't matter. I just feel grateful for the second chance that I am being given to return to the Carmel where God first called me six years ago. I have been shown God's mercy over and over again, and it has proven to me that He never turns away from us, no matter how many times we fall. As long as we keep making the effort to get up and keep walking towards Him, He rushes to help us up, to stengthen us and to show us that His love is constant. Felix culpa. Oh happy fault!

 

Melius enim iudicavit de malis benefacere, quam mala nulla esse permittere.

“For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist.”

 

 

 

Once I have an airline ticket booked, I will update this and ask for prayers during my travel. Until then, I will browse here but probably only post occassionally as there is still much to do before I leave Australia. Cheers.

 

[OnlySunshine]

I am very happy for you!  When I read through your blog posts, I got the sense, before you left, that God was calling you to Wolverhampton all along but you just weren't ready yet.  I pray that it works out this time.  You sound very much at peace.

 

One question:

 

Since you were already with this community a few years ago, will you be starting over again as a postulant or will they clothe you as a novice? 

 

I ask because my friend, who re-entered Carmel recently was a postulant for 2 weeks and then received her habit again but she had to restart the novitiate because of some private issues.  I don't remember what stage you were in when you left.  :blush:

Edited November 29, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae

[AccountDeleted]

MM -  It doesn't really matter to me as long as I am there.

 

I was a Novice when I left but I am not sure what will happen when I go back. Obviously I will start off as a postulant again and then just leave it in God's hands as to how long it will be before I am clothed again. I don't really care what I wear. I just want to live the life.

 

I would like to get back to being a Novice as soon as the community thinks it is right though, just so I can be of more use to them. Postulants are not allowed to do all of the things that Novices are. For example postulants can't take on roles in choir such as cantor or reader but Novices usually start as 2nd reader and/or 2nd cantor which means that there are more sisters sharing the responsibiities. Postulants aren't usually given an 'office' either but I know that Mother said she wanted to give me one when I return because they are short-handed in some areas, so things may not be the same for me as they would be for a new postulant. I just want to be able to offer as much support for the community as I can, but God knows this, and the community knows it too, so I will leave it up to them to make that decision. There is no rush and no agenda other than to be there and live the life day to day.

 

I was so unhappy at the idea of having to leave to come back here for this visa simply because I was so happy every morning I woke up there. But I have seen why God sent me back here and am more ready than ever to return and offer my life for those who don't know Him or how much He loves them. My family is wonderful  and they are very good and loving pepole but they don't know God, and it hurts me to see them living their lives without Him, especially when they are in pain and don't know that He could comfort and strengthen them if they would allow Him to. I am blessed in having a sister who is totally supportive of my vocation, even though she calls herself an agnostic. She loves me enough to accept that I love God and want to serve Him (as she would accept any spouse I chose). God has been blessing her for her goodness to me. But some of the other brothers and sisters (I am one of nine siblings) are either actively hostile to belief in God and religion or completely indifferent. That seems to work for them when things are going well but lately some things have not gone well for some of them, and I see anger and hurt and pain, and nowhere to turn for help, which leads to bitterness and despair. Words don't get through to them either, they just generate more anger at a God they don't even believe in. It is so sad but I trust that God loves them all even more than I do, and am so glad that He is allowing me to spend the rest of my life praying for them and for all who reject His love for them. It might sound overly romantic or dramatic to put it this way, but it is real for me now. And has shown me once again that trusting God is the key to everything. There is no point in saying I love Him if I don't trust Him.

 

So that was a long answer to your question. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. I trust that He knows and will always allow what is best for my soul.

[emmaberry101]

Congratulations nunsense!! I sincerely hope you are gone before I am-I know how much you want to get back to your Sisters. I also know what you mean about being busy with preparations! I pray you are back to your community soon but also have enough time to finish everything up.

God bless you in this upcoming Advent and in your entrance.

[OnlySunshine]

MM -  It doesn't really matter to me as long as I am there.

 

I was a Novice when I left but I am not sure what will happen when I go back. Obviously I will start off as a postulant again and then just leave it in God's hands as to how long it will be before I am clothed again. I don't really care what I wear. I just want to live the life.

 

I would like to get back to being a Novice as soon as the community thinks it is right though, just so I can be of more use to them. Postulants are not allowed to do all of the things that Novices are. For example postulants can't take on roles in choir such as cantor or reader but Novices usually start as 2nd reader and/or 2nd cantor which means that there are more sisters sharing the responsibiities. Postulants aren't usually given an 'office' either but I know that Mother said she wanted to give me one when I return because they are short-handed in some areas, so things may not be the same for me as they would be for a new postulant. I just want to be able to offer as much support for the community as I can, but God knows this, and the community knows it too, so I will leave it up to them to make that decision. There is no rush and no agenda other than to be there and live the life day to day.

 

I was so unhappy at the idea of having to leave to come back here for this visa simply because I was so happy every morning I woke up there. But I have seen why God sent me back here and am more ready than ever to return and offer my life for those who don't know Him or how much He loves them. My family is wonderful  and they are very good and loving pepole but they don't know God, and it hurts me to see them living their lives without Him, especially when they are in pain and don't know that He could comfort and strengthen them if they would allow Him to. I am blessed in having a sister who is totally supportive of my vocation, even though she calls herself an agnostic. She loves me enough to accept that I love God and want to serve Him (as she would accept any spouse I chose). God has been blessing her for her goodness to me. But some of the other brothers and sisters (I am one of nine siblings) are either actively hostile to belief in God and religion or completely indifferent. That seems to work for them when things are going well but lately some things have not gone well for some of them, and I see anger and hurt and pain, and nowhere to turn for help, which leads to bitterness and despair. Words don't get through to them either, they just generate more anger at a God they don't even believe in. It is so sad but I trust that God loves them all even more than I do, and am so glad that He is allowing me to spend the rest of my life praying for them and for all who reject His love for them. It might sound overly romantic or dramatic to put it this way, but it is real for me now. And has shown me once again that trusting God is the key to everything. There is no point in saying I love Him if I don't trust Him.

 

So that was a long answer to your question. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. I trust that He knows and will always allow what is best for my soul.

 

That's a very healthy way to look at it.  Sounds as if you have abandoned yourself entirely to Him, which is all that matters.  We may think we know best, but only God truly knows what we need.  I'm sure your family will receive many graces by having your prayers.  :)

[MarieLynn]

Dear nunsense, I can't see you in the brown jumper for more than just a few weeks, but of course I am only surmising.

 

Your peace and joy at returning are evident, and I pray that you will at last have found your true home.

 

Whatever lies in the future - His Will will be done.   God bless you.

[BarbTherese]

God speed, nunsense - all the way to perpetual vows -  and may your every hope be fulfilled along a way of many blessings.

[maximillion]

I echo what others say, prayers with and for you and yours as you wend your way 'home'.

 

I also agree your thinking on it not being of concern how quickly you are Clothed or not, but I think we all share a belief that if anyone deserves the reward of the Holy Habit then it is you after your long and faithful journey..........

 

Many many blessings in this season of what is surely a real Advent for you...............

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

God bless you Nunsense, and God reward you for sharing your journey also. I will keep you in prayer. Will you please pray for those who are waiting to enter the religious life but nor not able to (at least at this time) and those who may not be able to enter at all. I know you have experienced this cross at some point in your journey, and its a great suffering. Many thanks. :)

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Edit: Double post.

Edited November 29, 2012 by VeniJesuAmorMi

[Mary's Margaret]

In surrendering to God, we find our true place in His plan for us.  Nunsense, your journey is an excellent example of this, and an encouragement to us all.

I'm always so happy to hear of each step you take toward 'home', and will rejoice with you when you walk through the enclosure door.  If possible, when the time comes, please let us know the day and approximate hour when you will be entering: I'd like to 'pray you in'.

[JMJ/M&M]

Godspeed, Nunsense! Not only to Wolverhampton but through all your paperwork to get there....I visited there about 3 years ago. They are lovely Nuns....

I wish you all the best!

[Feankie]

Nunsense, praying that your visa issues will quickly be taken care of and you'll be ready to travel and rejoin your sisters.

[AccountDeleted]

Thank you to everyone who has posted good wishes on this thread. I appreciate all your prayers. This morning I was a little sad and even got teary while reading the Office.  Today is the last day of this volume of the Divine Office because tonight at Vespers we switch to Vol I and I was really hoping to be back in Wolverhampton Carmel before the change over. Anyway, I won't be sad, tomorrow is the first day of Advent and so we begin the preparation for Our Lord's coming. May God bless us all in this happy time.

[AnneLine]

Nunsense,

 

FINALLY the board is behaving well enough I can properly rejoice with God and with you on this one.  Not the extra delay -- that has to be hard -- but because 'He who is mighty has done great things for you'.... and we have been privileged to walk and pray with you along the way.   And who knows why he has you out here -- and literally all around the world -- some soul has need of your journey as well as your arrival!!!!

 

Holding you in prayer very specially these days!!!!!

 

Shameless advertizing --- presuming the Board continues to behave, you may have noticed on another 'Advent' thread that I'm planning a mid-Advent novena from Dec 7 through 15 (early enough to help people prepare well, and not so close to Christmas as to distract everyone with all the Christmas hype as well!)  (and people can always pray the 'O Antiphon' period as a second novena....).  I will be praying very specially for you and for all preparing to enter this year or early next.   Watch for a separate thread on Open Mic....   (End mini-hijack!)

 

We will pray a special red-handled scissors for you to be able to cut through any additional red tape!   Now you pray for us, too!

Edited December 1, 2012 by AnneLine