Questions...

[Guest Faustina]

Hi, I was wondering about some specifics about having a relationship w/ a guy. I'm 15 yrs old and so is the guy that I like. We are both very strong Catholics. Do you have any ideas for some physical boundaries? Well thanks in advance! Hope to hear from you soon : ) God Bless

[Pio Nono]

JMJ
5/23 - Seventh Sunday of Easter (The Ascension of Our Lord)

Faustina,

Here's a good rule to follow, given to me by a Franciscan friar.

Imagine yourself and this guy sitting on the couch in your living room. Imagine, then, your parents and your pastor sitting in the same room, staring right at you. However far you're willing to go there is the farthest you can go.

The point here is not to force people into being sexually repressed automatons, walking around thinking that their white knuckles are pleasing to the Lord. The point is twofold: one, sexuality encompasses the entirety of one's being - the danger of youth is to force sexuality into one category of actions that deal with one's genitals; two, sexuality expressed genitally is to be saved for marriage due to the great value of the gift of sexual expression.

Read some stuff by Mary Beth Bonacci for further info. Hope this helps.

Yours,
Pio Nono

[Carson Weber]

To add to Pio and to be a bit more specific from my own experience as a 25 yr old Catholic who has been through a number of relationships and is currently in a very healthy one..

Don't kiss, but don't make it this your focus. That means, just set the rules and follow them out of love for one another. Refrain from talking about the rules once you've set them.

Feel free to hold hands, but be careful not to make it something that you "have to do" everytime you're together. Show affection for one another through gifts, notes, and affectionate ways that do not involve the body.

Don't spend a bunch of alone time together. Spend time with one another's families most especially. Spend time with friends. Do ministry together.

Don't spend intimate time together by engaging in extended prayer. I know this sounds like something you should do as faithful Catholics, but it will actually work against you. Praying together forms strong bond, especially with regard to the woman, and it can do more harm than good in the long-run. This should really be reserved for engagement.

Get a mentoring couple that are faithful, married Catholics to speak with from time to time and spend time together with.

Purchase and read two books:

1. [u]Real Love[/u] by Mary Beth Bonacci - it's at Amazon.com & at your local Catholic bookstore
2. [u]The ABC's of Choosing a Good Husband[/u] by Stephen Wood, which can be found at [url="http://www.familylifecenter.net"]http://www.familylifecenter.net[/url]

There are many more suggestions I can give you, and so I really suggest reading a good Catholic book on the subject like the two above.

Remember, dating (from a Catholic viewpoint) has its purpose (it's end) in marriage, and so if this person isn't the one you'll marry, then you shouldn't be dating him, and if he is a prospective husband, then you should treat him as if he is some other beautiful and wonderful Catholic woman's husband, because it is very likely that this will be the case in the future if God is not calling you to marry him. In fact, he may very well be a Catholic priest one day.