A Question About The Call

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1353460068' post='2513955']
If anything, I thought the most about singlehood or a third order. I really wrestled with considering those things — the thought of being alone was very scary. But eventually I got to a place where I was OK with it and happy about doing stuff in the world for God.
[/quote]

Well for what it's worth -- you can be married AND in a 3rd order. Just sayin'

[Kateri89]

I would estimate that I'm about 99% sure I'm called to religious life. My struggle these last couple of years has been trying to figure out which order I'm called to. I can honestly say it is exhausting and I have an almost constant anxiety/anguish in trying to discern. People have given me a lot of great advice in the way of prayer, patience, and trust in God but it's still very difficult for me.

I first started to consider religious life when I was in high school but it was sort of a vague idea. It's hard to say why I even thought of it because I don't come from a religious family and I had never known a Sister. But then I went to nursing school and the idea stayed with me. Then I graduated and started working and the idea still stayed with me. So for the last couple of years I've been researching orders and praying about it but its so agonizing. When I think about religious life, I feel that it has to be so peaceful no matter what struggles Sisters go through because they have God and they have each other to lean on. But I don't know if I'm called to a cloistered community or contemplative/active, or even a missionary community. That's where I'm really struggling right now. I will say this though: in all my time discerning, I've imagined getting married and having children but it just doesn't feel like it fits. I feel that I could only really be satisfied if I gave my life 100% to Jesus. I can be a spiritual mother and be able to love more freely. Marriage and motherhood are beautiful vocations and absolutely necessary but God will communicate to each of us in a way specific to our personality what he wants us to do. So lots of patience and trust are vital and ask God to show you if you're on the right path. God Bless!

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='SrKateri' timestamp='1353465854' post='2513993']
I would estimate that I'm about 99% sure I'm called to religious life. My struggle these last couple of years has been trying to figure out which order I'm called to. I can honestly say it is exhausting and I have an almost constant anxiety/anguish in trying to discern. People have given me a lot of great advice in the way of prayer, patience, and trust in God but it's still very difficult for me.
[/quote]
Discernment shouldn't be exhausting or cause anxiety/anguish. Sr. Lois says that often; she told us just the other weekend at the discernment retreat. Hopefully the link will work and start when she's talking about stress, but it's at about 13:40
[url="http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s"]http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s[/url]
It's a good video, so I would recommend watching the whole thing. If you can't, definitely watch the part with St. Estelle right after that clip with Sr. Lois.

Edited November 21, 2012 by Pax_et bonum

[TheresaThoma]

For me I was open to the idea of dating but it never really worked out. I breifly had a boyfriend between Middle and High School but after that nothing. In college I started discerning religious life and have continued on from there. I guess my discernment philosophy is "work with what you got". For me things are going really well with a community, I feel draw to their way of life and there are no obvious potential boyfriends so I am going to continue pursuing religious life. So basically take into account your desires and your situation and see where that points you.

[maximillion]

Joy, peace of mind and heart - these are signs that you are aligned with His will.

Fear, worry, concern, these are signs that something is not going well.

The above is true of everything in life, and no less so for discerning what He wants of us.

[KnightofChrist]

If I have 'the call', it is like being beckoned, like being awoke in the dead of night because you thought you heard someone call your name. Or like waking up early in the morning, in between being in a dream state and awake, and having a feeling that you have something important to do but can't remember what. Those are ultimately poor analogies though, but it's not easy to put in words.

Another thing that may or may not be part of it is when I pray and try to live the vocation I want, marriage, it doesn't feel right or it goes wrong, like there's somewhere else I should be. Then there are the interesting things that may be hints. For example many months ago when I was being to focus on the possibility of the call again. I prayed that God just give me any sign if I am called to the Priesthood. Very few days later my mom brings me a surprise gift she picked up at a evangelical thrift shop that doesn't have any Catholic Church near by for at least an hour drive. It was a Old Rite Missal, and not one used for the laity in the pews, but the one for the Priest on the Altar. Perhaps a mere coincidence, perhaps not. Sign or not the call if it is a call is strong with or without it.

[Kateri89]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1353473715' post='2514059']
Discernment shouldn't be exhausting or cause anxiety/anguish. Sr. Lois says that often; she told us just the other weekend at the discernment retreat. Hopefully the link will work and start when she's talking about stress, but it's at about 13:40
[url="http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s"]http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s[/url]
It's a good video, so I would recommend watching the whole thing. If you can't, definitely watch the part with St. Estelle right after that clip with Sr. Lois.
[/quote]

The thing is, I'm not anguished or anxious because I'm unhappy about religious life. One of my good friends just got engaged and I found myself thinking that I had the same excitement about entering as she does about getting married. I think my stress stems from not knowing where I'm called to specifically because I'm afraid that when I pray I'm asking but I don't know how to listen for the answer. I worry that I'm reading too much into "signs" or overlooking them. I truly believe that when I find the community I'm called to, I'll feel that inner peace that Sisters talk so much about.

That video was great Thanks!

[Starets]

Feelings are fickle and variable and not to be trusted.

Sometimes, God's will can be determined by circumstance. I experienced my first "tug" while a teenaged fundamentalist. I was part of a choir that sang vespers with a local Trappist monastery. There was something about the beauty of the simplicity and chant that awakened my curiosity.

I have never had a desire for marriage. Not something you say publicly as a fundamentalist, as I found out. I have neve seen myself as "married".

One circumstance that led me to suspect that I might be called to a life of prayer was the number of priests who used to ask me if I had thought of being a priest. I was in my teens and a fundamentalist so I would always say, with a smile "I hear you have to be Catholic for that".

Back in the early naughties I made a directed retreat at a Jesuit retreat center about the possibility of a calling. One thing my director said is that the longevity of the call is a good indication of its genuineness. After all, I was in my late 30s and Catholic by then.

Just some scattered thoughts

[nikita92]

SRKateri- have you determined if you are a people person? Have a genuine intrest in people and their problems. I mean if you were to join a contemplative/active communinty,that might be a complimentary fit for you. (As a example) your nursing skills would be right in line for a missionary community. Im sure you know this. I am a people person...my work deals with the public at times. I can see myself as a extern sister...helping people out. So cloister wouldnt be the best fit. But...I am older, so that isnt happening anyway. Being a wife and mother....you could still serve the parrish...yet you said you would want 100% of yourself given to our Lord. If you havent visited communities yet, maybe in doing so..would help your discernmemt. Prayers for you!

[Kateri89]

[quote name='nikita92' timestamp='1353862634' post='2516325']
SRKateri- have you determined if you are a people person? Have a genuine intrest in people and their problems. I mean if you were to join a contemplative/active communinty,that might be a complimentary fit for you. (As a example) your nursing skills would be right in line for a missionary community. Im sure you know this. I am a people person...my work deals with the public at times. I can see myself as a extern sister...helping people out. So cloister wouldnt be the best fit. But...I am older, so that isnt happening anyway. Being a wife and mother....you could still serve the parrish...yet you said you would want 100% of yourself given to our Lord. If you havent visited communities yet, maybe in doing so..would help your discernmemt. Prayers for you!
[/quote]

Nikita, I am passionately pro-life which is why I'm discerning with the Sisters of Life right now. I have a feeling that God's calling me there and I love the fact that it's a contemplative/active community. I went on retreat with the Nashville Dominicans in March of this year and loved them but didn't feel called there but they are also a contemplative/active community which I find so beautiful. To spend so much time in prayer but to still be able to go out into the world and share God's love with His people--I can't think of anything better

I was supposed to go on retreat with the Sisters of Life earlier this month but my flight got cancelled and I couldn't get another one so I missed it. I'm still planning on visiting them for their next vocation retreat in March 2013. Thanks for your prayers!