AnneLine Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I really like the idea of being just plain honesy with the Bro Bonaventure about what happened when you were at the seminary, and how you just are filling a little unsure right now. I also think you did a 180 degree turn pretty quickly -- this would give you a chance to add a little more real info into your discernment process. PROCESS -- it takes time, like a 'procession'. Discernment isn't a one time decision -- we aren't angels, we don't make our decisions as yes/no and live with it forever. Humans have to look at all sides, weigh options and make moves one step at a time. If your parents & director & Bro. Bonaventure agree, I'd let the benefactor help you with your discernment by going to visit them..... but let's put this in the Hand of the Holy Spirit and take it one step at a time. Will be praying for you!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary+Immaculate<3 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would say that you should go, because there is never really an end to discernment, even after one is professed/ordained, really. I think that even if you are not currently drawn to priesthood or religious life, living the life and giving the Lord your best will be something you won't regret. If you don't end up going, couldn't you possibly end up regretting it? Whereas, if you went and discerned even more that marriage is the life you're called to, you will have not lost any rare opportunities, and can thank your benefactor (if that's possible) for the visit. What it comes down to is this, of God is calling you to marriage, then this isn't going to hinder it. Of he is not, then it isn't either, it will only improve your insight into His will. So, I'm just saying, that you can go, what it really comes down to is you asking God whetherHe wants you to go or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1353384112' post='2513437'] I would go. Being called to a vocation is not a feeling, many priests "feel" like being married every once in a while and plenty of married people "feel" like being in religious life. It's also like when a woman says "I don't feel very pregnant" well... it's not matter of being very pregnant or a little pregnant, or very called or a little bit called. If you haven't finished discernment, that is what these types of things are for. To help you discern. [/quote] This. Go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiiMichael Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 If you are not currently discerning marriage with Emily (dating) then you should go. If you were dating her, I'd say hold off. Discerning two vocations at the same time is not really very easy and can be detrimental to the whole process. Besides, it seems like all you've really done is decided that you aren't called to diocesan priesthood. Maybe you're called to religious priesthood, or maybe just simply religious life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyOfSorrows Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) If you're dating and seriously considering marriage, I would be very careful. I did this same thing a year ago when I was dating and it really confused me when I didn't need to be. I ended up developing some anxiety because I had my feet in two different ponds. If it does not seem right, hold off. You can always go another time. On that visit I was offered a live-in of three months at a monastery that just seemed so tempting. Although I would have loved to have the experience, the timing just wasn't right. I'm so glad I didn't go for it, in hindsight. I have to disagree with the argument about how feelings can be irrelevant. Desires can be a great indicator of God's will for you. Go when you can say that it seems right. You don't have to be fully convinced, but you'll know when the circumstances are "just so." There may be another time where you are more sure that you would be open to such a trip. Maybe next time you will have to pay for a ticket, but you'll feel better about going when you feel more certain. Edited November 20, 2012 by LadyOfSorrows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1353384716' post='2513448'] I really like the idea of being just plain honesy with the Bro Bonaventure about what happened when you were at the seminary, and how you just are filling a little unsure right now. I also think you did a 180 degree turn pretty quickly -- this would give you a chance to add a little more real info into your discernment process. PROCESS -- it takes time, like a 'procession'. [b]Discernment isn't a one time decision -- we aren't angels, we don't make our decisions as yes/no and live with it forever. Humans have to look at all sides, weigh options and make moves one step at a time. [/b] If your parents & director & Bro. Bonaventure agree, I'd let the benefactor help you with your discernment by going to visit them..... but let's put this in the Hand of the Holy Spirit and take it one step at a time. Will be praying for you!!!!! [/quote] This. OH SO MUCH THIS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1353384716' post='2513448'] I really like the idea of being just plain honesy with the Bro Bonaventure about what happened when you were at the seminary, and how you just are filling a little unsure right now. I also think you did a 180 degree turn pretty quickly -- this would give you a chance to add a little more real info into your discernment process. PROCESS -- it takes time, like a 'procession'. Discernment isn't a one time decision -- we aren't angels, we don't make our decisions as yes/no and live with it forever. Humans have to look at all sides, weigh options and make moves one step at a time. If your parents & director & Bro. Bonaventure agree, I'd let the benefactor help you with your discernment by going to visit them..... but let's put this in the Hand of the Holy Spirit and take it one step at a time. Will be praying for you!!!!! [/quote] I actually did kind of tell him. I told him that I went to the seminary and discerned out of diocesan Priesthood, but the religious life was still a possibility, and I mentioned that I was having a hard time discerning between it and the married life. I think that since everyone believes I should, I will go. I'm making the call tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) So far as I understood, you discerned NOT being called to the priesthood. Did you (affirmatively) discern being called to marriage, or just assume that as the default in the absence of a priestly vocation? If you didn't affirmatively discern marriage, then go. Even if only to rule it all out so you can be sure marriage is where you're called. As I see it, this event is itself a big discernment wake-up call. It could have three sources: God (likely), the devil (likely, though possibly less, given that it came through a brother), and chance (which I personally think is a load of croutons). So, if I were you, I'd take all these other good people's advice (talk to the community, talk to your parents, etc.), but focus on discerning (quickly, of course) who you think the source of this opportunity is. Not to sway you one way or the other, but...: I have heard it said by several sisters that God never puts on the pressure. He doesn't rush. My spiritual advisor likes to say (A LOT): "God is never late. But he's never early, either." Best of luck to you, man. Edited November 20, 2012 by curiousing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1353384273' post='2513441'] Have you discussed all of your recent interior changes (and decisions) with your SD or even with the community you were discerning with? Perhaps they could help you to make this decision. You changed your mind kind of suddenly and it could change again just as suddenly because (believe it or not) that is what happens when one is young (and sometimes when one is old too! ). Seriously, ask those who are supposed to be giving you advice - your SD or your vocations director. PS - and of course your parents! [/quote] I wish I had the time to tell him everything, but it looks like I will not have the opportunity. I am going to see him this Sunday, I think, but it will not be for a meeting, it will be us helping him move some organs. Ha. Yes, telling my parents [i]may [/i]be important. I don't think my mother will take it well, but we will see how it goes. My dad will not like the idea of a benefactor, but I can tell him he can pay half or something. That may work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I understand you sudden change in vocational feelings, I am a sudden change personality as well. Sometimes it takes only one small thing to make a inner working we were not quite aware of click. With that said, based on what you shared in other threads I am not convinced you are not called to Religious Life, just not Conception. I would talk with you parents in the morning, call your SD and then call Br and see what they have to say, it may indeed not be the vocation nor you but as long as you are approaching the situation honestly and seeking God then the benefactor's money will not be waisted. Most benefactors I have met understand that not every dollar will go to a future Br, Sr, or Fr, but that every dollar is still used in the work of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 And I just want to say: Man, are you blessed to have a benefactor! What I wouldn't give...!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) [quote name='PadrePioOfPietrelcino' timestamp='1353389249' post='2513478'] I understand you sudden change in vocational feelings, I am a sudden change personality as well. Sometimes it takes only one small thing to make a inner working we were not quite aware of click. With that said, based on what you shared in other threads I am not convinced you are not called to Religious Life, just not Conception. I would talk with you parents in the morning, call your SD and then call Br and see what they have to say, it may indeed not be the vocation nor you but as long as you are approaching the situation honestly and seeking God then the benefactor's money will not be waisted. Most benefactors I have met understand that not every dollar will go to a future Br, Sr, or Fr, but that every dollar is still used in the work of God. [/quote] I am definitely a sudden change personality. But I know what happened in front of the tabernacle at Conception was not just my annoying personality acting up again. So you object because you believe I am called to religious life? Well, I discerned out of diocesan Priesthood (Or Conception, at the very least. It was nice and I loved it, but the mere thought of ever going back is nauseating for some reason), but the religious life is still up for grabs. I think I'll go, if my spiritual director and Brother Bonaventure (And talk to my parents about it, if you all feel this is an important detail. ) think I should, and I will see what everyone has to say. But can you tell me why you think I am called to religious life? And I don't technically have a benefactor. The Franciscan Brothers Minor just have benefactors that give money for vocations. Edited November 20, 2012 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Just be careful about 'mixing discernments'. It is really not appropriate, and not fair to anyone involved, if you try to actively discern religious life simultaneously with discerning marriage. At the very least, if you are actively discerning religious life you should not be getting involved with any girls. Even Hermione. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1353389997' post='2513487'] Just be careful about 'mixing discernments'. It is really not appropriate, and not fair to anyone involved, if you try to actively discern religious life simultaneously with discerning marriage. At the very least, if you are actively discerning religious life you should not be getting involved with any girls. Even Hermione. [/quote] As I said before, I am not getting involved in dating until I am of college age anyway. This whole situation has me thinking so hard about religious life. It's suddenly appealing again. Why do all things have to appeal to me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1353389757' post='2513485'] But can you tell me why you think I am called to religious life? [/quote] It's not that I think you have a religious vocation, I just plain lack a lot of information ( and charism of a Bishop) to make that kind of call. However I know that Diocesan vs Religious life was a debate you were working with, you went to one Seminary and was able to find an answer for you there, and I find it providential that shortly after you are invited to visit the Brs. Perhaps God is trying to give you an opportunity to find even more clarity for your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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