Today - Whoa!

[Spem in alium]

Just wanted to share something kind of cool with you guys.

Once a month I participate in a discussion group with four other students and a sister as a facilitator. Our conversations have been on transitioning and on barriers we've faced. We met today, and this month's session was more about our faith.

We each get around 15 minutes to speak and others can respond to what we've said. So I shared my story, and one of the questions I received was along the lines of "Do you find it hard to trust God?"

My response was along the lines of: "Sometimes yes, especially since this past year I've been feeling called to religious life..." In my mind I was thinking, WOW, SPEM! What are you doing? Where did that come from? You haven't even told some of your family members what you're thinking, your parents barely know - yet you're sharing with this group and with people you only recently met?! It was just so amazing for me...it kind of took a weight off things. There must be something in my heart driving what I said, and I hope I can understand that better.

It's probably not that amazing to anyone else, but for me it feels like a milestone. Anyone else got any cool or interesting stories about how they shared their discernment or thoughts with others?

And on another note: I've been really into watching vocational videos lately, and I found this one. What's amesome about it for me is that this priest is the Parish Priest at my university's church (which also features in the video). Didn't realise how much I missed it until now.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbhZ9J0NxzU&feature=watch-vrec[/media]

[nikita92]

Sounds like when you actually verbalized it out loud (to others..not close people) it really hit home (so to speak) that you are really contemplating a religious vocation! Sounds like a step in the right direction!

[Gabriela]

In my interviews with 35 sisters, this came up quite often. Many didn't even realize they were considering religious life until suddenly it popped out of their mouths. In every case, it shocked them. They felt that God had spoken through them: He had finally brought sisterhood to their (conscious) attention through their own verbalizations of it.

I didn't realize that I was considering religious life until a priest approached me on a bench at the Sancta Clara monastery grounds and asked if I was considering entering. Suddenly I burst out crying. I realized instantly that I was, even though, before that moment, I had only ever thought about it and then dismissed it as not possible for me. It's funny how you can be seriously considering something unconsciously even as you totally deny it consciously.

So, yeah, this is pretty "normal" (if "common" can be understood as "normal"). Thank God for it. Cuz most likely, it came straight from Him. :-)

Additionally: I think most people feel a sense of relief, as of a weight lifting, when they finally talk about it with someone. If you read the discernment advice pages, they all say to talk to someone about it. It makes it "more real". At the same time, talking to family and close friends about it can be hard (and sometimes detrimental to discernment), because those people have a lot invested in you and your life, and they can sometimes try to sway you toward what they (selfishly) want you to do. There's a lot of history and baggage with familiars that doesn't exist with strangers. Most of us have had one of those times when we're surprised by the fact that we can be more ourselves with a total stranger than with our friends/family. We see familiars every day, and so have to live with the consequences of what we say and do in their presence; it will strengthen or shake the image they have of us, of our personality and our character, of "who they know us to be". Strangers, on the other hand, precisely because they don't know you at all, are open to whatever you give them, because they're only just getting to know you. When we're changing, then, it can be easier to be the new us in front of people who are not so attached to the old us that they resist the changes we're going through. Sounds like that's what you experienced.

Edited November 12, 2012 by curiousing

[Rosa immaculata]

Ave Maria!

I totally agree with Curiosing and Nikita92!! And I am very happy for you Spem! I read somewhere (I don't remember now) that the first level in a vocation is (generally, of course): I fell there is something new in me (attraction to religious life) and sometimes indeed the person cannot really identify it, but she attends like you prayers groups, or she meets a priest (sorry, she can be he of course, but I am a girl:) ). The second level is when you really put words on that with a priest/a friend/ etc, or someone puts words for you and helps you in expressing it and in the same time and automatically you identify and precise this new element...It is I think a great change in the story of your vocation!! and I am super happy for you!
Don't worry, I saw a Carmelite some days ago and she told me to keep my vocation secret for my family (the most important, except if you are sure they won't try to discourage you), and me too, I have cried, and since I feel I perhaps have religious vocation, I see that trusting entirely God is very difficult and when you consecrate your whole life in God and you accept not totally control it, you are happy, really happy, but I have to renew this consecration very often, because Faith is a great but difficult Virtue, and the Carmelite told me that is normal, because religious life is a life of Faith and I am discovering that I have to live of It, in It...and when I told my confessor I think of religious life, he was very happy, and I bursted in tears, idem in the meeting with the Carmelite who was so sweetest: she said to me it was the first time she wanted not to have grills in front of her in order to consolate me ... and when I go to my some-days retreat in three weeks, I know I will cry, whereas I never cry usually!!

This stories and few words to encourage you: you are not alone, we pray for you, and if you want to PM me etc: no pb!! Last thing: the carmelite told me that it is normal to feel alone (God set us apart when He calls us, and our whole life and our projects and values are changing...), and it is a great suffering for the love of Christ! Continue to go in this group, if you have revealed that it is because you felt in security, with people who want your sanctification and who will UNDERSTAND you...

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='nikita92' timestamp='1352694844' post='2508465']
Sounds like when you actually verbalized it out loud (to others..not close people) it really hit home (so to speak) that you are really contemplating a religious vocation! Sounds like a step in the right direction!
[/quote]

Thanks! I had admitted it to myself previously, but when I've shared my feelings with my parents and a couple of friends it has been hard (mainly because I've been nervous about how they'll take it). This time, I just felt so calm and didn't even really think too much. It felt so odd

[quote name='curiousing' timestamp='1352696025' post='2508477']
In my interviews with 35 sisters, this came up quite often. Many didn't even realize they were considering religious life until suddenly it popped out of their mouths. In every case, it shocked them. They felt that God had spoken through them: He had finally brought sisterhood to their (conscious) attention through their own verbalizations of it.

I didn't realize that I was considering religious life until a priest approached me on a bench at the Sancta Clara monastery grounds and asked if I was considering entering. Suddenly I burst out crying. I realized instantly that I was, even though, before that moment, I had only ever thought about it and then dismissed it as not possible for me. It's funny how you can be seriously considering something unconsciously even as you totally deny it consciously.

So, yeah, this is pretty "normal" (if "common" can be understood as "normal"). Thank God for it. Cuz most likely, it came straight from Him. :-)

Additionally: I think most people feel a sense of relief, as of a weight lifting, when they finally talk about it with someone. If you read the discernment advice pages, they all say to talk to someone about it. It makes it "more real". At the same time, talking to family and close friends about it can be hard (and sometimes detrimental to discernment), because those people have a lot invested in you and your life, and they can sometimes try to sway you toward what they (selfishly) want you to do. There's a lot of history and baggage with familiars that doesn't exist with strangers. Most of us have had one of those times when we're surprised by the fact that we can be more ourselves with a total stranger than with our friends/family. We see familiars every day, and so have to live with the consequences of what we say and do in their presence; it will strengthen or shake the image they have of us, of our personality and our character, of "who they know us to be". Strangers, on the other hand, precisely because they don't know you at all, are open to whatever you give them, because they're only just getting to know you. When we're changing, then, it can be easier to be the new us in front of people who are not so attached to the old us that they resist the changes we're going through. Sounds like that's what you experienced.
[/quote]

Thank you for this, I related to your words so much. I wonder if now I'll be able to talk about my discernment when people ask what I'm planning to do with my life

[quote name='Rosa immaculata' timestamp='1352714607' post='2508539']
Ave Maria!

I totally agree with Curiosing and Nikita92!! And I am very happy for you Spem! I read somewhere (I don't remember now) that the first level in a vocation is (generally, of course): I fell there is something new in me (attraction to religious life) and sometimes indeed the person cannot really identify it, but she attends like you prayers groups, or she meets a priest (sorry, she can be he of course, but I am a girl:) ). The second level is when you really put words on that with a priest/a friend/ etc, or someone puts words for you and helps you in expressing it and in the same time and automatically you identify and precise this new element...It is I think a great change in the story of your vocation!! and I am super happy for you!
Don't worry, I saw a Carmelite some days ago and she told me to keep my vocation secret for my family (the most important, except if you are sure they won't try to discourage you), and me too, I have cried, and since I feel I perhaps have religious vocation, I see that trusting entirely God is very difficult and when you consecrate your whole life in God and you accept not totally control it, you are happy, really happy, but I have to renew this consecration very often, because Faith is a great but difficult Virtue, and the Carmelite told me that is normal, because religious life is a life of Faith and I am discovering that I have to live of It, in It...and when I told my confessor I think of religious life, he was very happy, and I bursted in tears, idem in the meeting with the Carmelite who was so sweetest: she said to me it was the first time she wanted not to have grills in front of her in order to consolate me ... and when I go to my some-days retreat in three weeks, I know I will cry, whereas I never cry usually!!

This stories and few words to encourage you: you are not alone, we pray for you, and if you want to PM me etc: no pb!! Last thing: the carmelite told me that it is normal to feel alone (God set us apart when He calls us, and our whole life and our projects and values are changing...), and it is a great suffering for the love of Christ! Continue to go in this group, if you have revealed that it is because you felt in security, with people who want your sanctification and who will UNDERSTAND you...
[/quote]

Thank you Rosa. I will keep you in my prayers