tinytherese Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Last summer, the priest who had been assigned to our parish for 11 years was moved to another town and we got a priest who had been with us when I was in Kindergarden or whenever. I honestly have no memory have of him. With our former priest, whenever a speaker such as someone who went on a mission trip sponsored by our parish in the past, briefly speaks at the ambo to encourage people to come to an informational meeting about going on the next mission trip because of their personal experience, they gave this little speech before Mass began. Now however, a speaker is called up by our new priest when the homily is supposed to occur. After they finish, Fr. tells us to applaud the speaker. Afterwards, he usually gives a little commentary on what they said and then we move on to saying The Creed. A short time ago, he called up a woman to speak (who may not have even expected to speak at all, I can't remember,) and Fr. as usual told us to applaud her. He didn't even comment on it this time or give any homily. What she said was supposed to be considered the homily. All of the speakers, such as the new coordinator of religious education asking people to volunteer to teach CCD classes are lay people, not priests or deacons. The first time that the new priest did this, he said that we would have the speaker then because he knew that there are people who come to Mass late or who leave early. I understand such concerns, but how he is handling this is not permitted. I'm afraid that this is going to confuse or scandalize people. My mom and maternal grandparents know lots of people in the parish through being very actively involved themselves and talk about how they haven't encountered anyone who doesn't like the new priest. Even my little brother likes him, which is really saying something. I don't wish to judge him, but I personally am uncomfortable with him and have kept my mouth shut because of how my family is. I'm nervous about even going to confession to him. He sometimes does watered down homilies. This past month which has been Respect Life Month, was especially watered down. He told us that people complain to him about not talking enough about abortion, capital punishment, etc. or talking about such topics too much over the years that he's been a priest. He talked about how we need to respect human life, but he was ambiguous on what that means. He sort of gave a general "be kind to your neighbor" message and said that when we disagree with people, we judge them. I agree that that can [i]sometimes occur, but not always. [/i]Maybe this wasn't his intention, but I got the hypie "I'm ok. You're ok. We're already great however we are. Let's sing the Barney theme song" vibe from that. He sometimes uses inclusive language during at least one of the parts of Mass and I was surprised when he distributed Communion to me that after he gave me Jesus, that he instantly asked, "How are you?" Oookay, that's a strange time for small-talk. You do realize that The Host is in my mouth, right and I'm supposed to be focused on receiving Our Lord, right? I haven't talked to him before, and I'd rather not have the first conversation I have with him be about the odd stuff that he's doing at Mass. That would make a bad impression. I would need to establish a friendship with him, but the combination of me being super uncomfortable about what he does and that I'm really socially awkward as it is, makes that hard. I've been going through psychological testing for learning disabilities and one therapist thought that I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum. I say these things not to try to weasel my way out of attempting to talk about this with him in a charitable manner, but simply to mention my obstacles. Not only am I uncomfortable with going to confession to him, but I get really upset during Mass and right afterwards at what goes on, that I find this especially spiritually unsettling. (In regards to confession, thankfully I haven't committed any mortal sins YET, and I hope to go to the special Advent Penance gathering of all the priests in the archdiocese where I go to a different priest for confession with my grandparents that I'm used to going to.) Informing the archbishop would just look like tattling. It would especially look bad if I did that without talking to Fr. about what he's doing. Even if I asked the archbishop to please not tell Fr. who at the parish "reported him," this would most likely disgust the people at our parish since they like him so much and it would look like a personal attack on the new priest. Believe me, this is not about me being super dedicated to our former priest. I'd be shocked if my mom didn't immediately suspect that it was me who would do something like that. She could even ask me what I thought about the matter, which would of course the cat would be out of the bag then. My mom is sometimes on the liberal side and I've had arguments with her before about Catholicism. In her mind, whatever the priest says goes. I've talked with her about certain thiings that we're not supposed to do as Mass months before any of us knew that our now former priest was about to be transferred, such as that we as lay people are not supposed to raise our hands like Nazis to bless the children before they go to The Children's Liturgy of the Word or when Fr. tells us to make the same gesture over mothers on Mother's Day. Not only would what the priest says and does go, but I can easily see her arguing how my issues are not worth the fight and that what he is doing is helpful to some people. My grandma would be mad too. We have the smallest Catholic parish in town (population wise,) and she would see that as a total betrayal if I ever mentioned considering going to Mass elsewhere. I'm haven't gotten past my fear of driving yet and haven't driven in over 3 years, and I'm living with my parents and brother right now for multiple reasons that I'm not going to get into right now, but I'm basically dependant right now even though I'm about to turn 24. (I'll finally get my BA mailed to me in December.) There's nobody outside my family who I could ask for a ride to another parish either. I don't know how long it would be before I could get enough money for my own apartment or what I'm going to do career wise, because I learned that I don't want to go into the career field of what my bachelor's will be in. That's one of the reasons that I'll be going in to therapy for. Does anyone have advice on how to cope with going to such a Mass each week? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 As long as the consecration's right, Jesus is still there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Offer it up? It looks like you're stuck. Maybe look into getting a podcast of good homilies for the readings of the week, to listen to later in the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightofChrist Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Get over your fear of driving, don't let fear stop you from finding a parish completely loyal to Mother Church. I drive an hour plus to Mass and it is worth it! In the mean time you can find orthodox, and clear sermons at audiosancto.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I cannot offer much advice for your situation, because when I started to become completely overwhelmed with the liturgical issues in my diocese, I started attending exclusively the FSSP Mass. This worked for me. I am very happy, and it did wonders for my faith. But if it is out of the question for you, it does not help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) Pray for him. Try to focus on the good things about him. Don't let the distractions ruin Mass for you, the devil loves distracting us from The Most Sacred Mystery of the Eucharist. Edited November 1, 2012 by Adrestia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyOfSorrows Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I have issues with this at one particular place I go to Mass sometimes. My spiritual director told me that if I needed to, I can bring a spiritual reading with me and read that instead of listening to the homily. EWTN usually puts their Masses on YouTube and you can listen to their homily for the particular Sunday. They are usually very good and in-depth. If you are really concerned about the priest, I would suggest speaking to your bishop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyOfSorrows Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 By the way, I understand how it's not very easy to just ignore the abuses and let them slide. My boyfriend used to be in the seminary and he goes nuts whenever something like that happens. It completely ruins the experience for him. Don't feel bad about feeling this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I understand your plight, and I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it's easy for other people to think, "don't be so picky! At least the Mass is valid!" but to be constantly bombarded with "little" (what abuse is ever little?) abuses like that is spiritually exhausting to say the least, and it is the priest's JOB to ensure the liturgy is celebrated according to the rubrics of the Church. Dealing with these constant problems can start to have a truly negative impact on your prayer/spiritual life. It IS a big deal. My only possible thoughts would be to 1. pray about it, which I'm sure you already are, 2. maybe focus some energy on trying to overcome your fear of driving to facilitate attending a different parish. But that doesn't take into account the fact that gas is expensive so taking the extra mileage may not be prudent, and that your family will wonder/get angry about you not attending this church. I will try to think up something more! You have my prayers and support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Would informing a bishop honestly change anything? Can the bishop do anything disciplinary wise other than give him a lecture? Last Sunday, all of the groups at my parish set up tables for people to sign up to be involved with them. Some of the groups I was interested in were the Faith Formation Commission, offering to be an RCIA sponsor, and assisting with teaching RCIA. Could I really make a difference at my parish or since I'd be the only one with my views that no one else would support would I just be headed into the slaughter? I'm afraid that there may be issues with this priest and people at the parish. The liturgy may come up in RCIA and the fact that lay people can't give homilies. Also, I may be asked to speak on behalf of some group or someone in a group that I volunteer for may be asked to speak for the homily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1352928346' post='2510011'] Would informing a bishop honestly change anything? Can the bishop do anything disciplinary wise other than give him a lecture? [/quote] Theoretically the bishop has a ton of authority over what the priest is doing. If the abuses were serious enough, he [the priest] could be suspended. There are several other options as well, since suspension is a pretty serious canonical penalty, which would probably be reserved for ongoing, very serious abuses. And if I remember correctly, you are dealing with quite a few more minor abuses, which kind of just pile up. On a practical level, most bishops will not exercise that authority when it comes to most liturgical abuse. I think it is an out of sight out of mind kind of thing. The only time I can think of in which our bishop actively stepped in to deal with a liturgical issue was when he temporarily forbade Communion on the tongue. The FSSP refused to say public Masses during that time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carmenchristi Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 In my home town there is a sister who gives a "homily" several times a month... No advice on what you can do about the problem tho... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1352928602' post='2510016'] In my home town there is a sister who gives a "homily" several times a month... No advice on what you can do about the problem tho... [/quote] That one is certainly worth writing to the bishop about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 What is a minor or major liturgical abuse? Wouldn't having lay people give part if not the entire homily like at my parish be considered a big deal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 What is a minor or major liturgical abuse? Wouldn't having lay people give part if not the entire homily like at my parish be considered a big deal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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