Someone Who Doesn't Know What They Want In Life

[Lilllabettt]

On 6/18/2019 at 11:27 PM, DiploRev said:

I'm turning 21 in 10 days, I am married, I have a one year old, I own a house. 

I've only had two jobs and I don't have a high school diploma or equivalent. 

I'm floating through life, wanting to be with my child, not wanting to be a failure. Regularly wishing I could get past my fears, and procrastination, to actually do something about my endless depression of my own depressing  flooping existence. 

I consistently make promises to myself, "I'll get my GED." 

"I'll just get a job." 

Just a job, to support what? Me? My child? My husband? No. 

A job, to support the idea that I'll never figure out what I really want to do with my life. 

A job, to support the procrastination that I've never been able to let go of. 

A job, to support the idea that if I have money, I'll be happy. No. 

I want to become something, but I have a lot to figure out before I get a "Job. " 

Maybe this will help someone? 

It hasn't helped me. At flooping all. 

Wow. I could have written this at 21 or 29. I'm 34 now and I'm still not "anything". The difference is, I dont feel that angst to "become something" anymore.  Just experiencing life is enough for me. 

[Anomaly]

On 6/19/2019 at 12:27 AM, DiploRev said:

I'm turning 21 in 10 days, I am married, I have a one year old, I own a house. 

I've only had two jobs and I don't have a high school diploma or equivalent. 

I'm floating through life, wanting to be with my child, not wanting to be a failure. Regularly wishing I could get past my fears, and procrastination, to actually do something about my endless depression of my own depressing  flooping existence. 

I consistently make promises to myself, "I'll get my GED." 

"I'll just get a job." 

Just a job, to support what? Me? My child? My husband? No. 

A job, to support the idea that I'll never figure out what I really want to do with my life. 

A job, to support the procrastination that I've never been able to let go of. 

A job, to support the idea that if I have money, I'll be happy. No. 

I want to become something, but I have a lot to figure out before I get a "Job. " 

Maybe this will help someone? 

It hasn't helped me. At flooping all. 

You, my friend, should consider seeking some counseling and affirmation.  A parent and homeowner before 21 is not “drifting”.   I fear you suffer to a great degree what I’ve recognized in myself, at times.   You don’t appreciate who you ARE now!  You don’t have to matter to the world as a consumer or employee.    You already matter greatly to your spouse and child.  Enjoy and revel in their love for YOU.   A job only buys groceries, not self worth.