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At What Point Do You Start Evaluating A Guy


Anastasia13

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Make them fill out a dating application that answers your top 50 most important questions. They have to pass with an 85% or better to make it to date night.

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If I thought someone was 'evaluating' me, I'd scarper. Your attitude towards dating is very presumptive - How soon should I start evaluating [i]them?[/i] These are the 993 requirements a potential date [i]must[/i] meet... you seem to assume they're just dying for you to choose them.

After all that, did you think for a second that they might not want to date you if they feel like they're constantly jumping through hoops to meet unrealistic expectations?

Always go into a first date with an open mind. Now, if you already know that your date is not suited to you, don't go on the date (i.e. if your date was a murderer who worships Satan - extreme example). You'll get to know them in the natural flow of conversation. If they feel like they're being interviewed, you'll get nowhere.

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Isn't already knowing they are a satanist and you wouldn't want to date them "evaluating" them? The key word you used is "unrealistic". You can have realistic expectations before going on a first date with someone, but they need to be very realistic. Finances, where you'll live, hopes and dreams, future goals, all of those types of expectations would be unrealistic. Pro-life, Christian, wants kids, are all realistic expectations and reviewing those things before going on a date is evaluating someone.

Edited by Slappo
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[quote name='Slappo' timestamp='1351707480' post='2501244']
Isn't already knowing they are a satanist and you wouldn't want to date them "evaluating" them? The key word you used is "unrealistic". You can have realistic expectations before going on a first date with someone, but they need to be very realistic. Finances, where you'll live, hopes and dreams, future goals, all of those types of expectations would be unrealistic. Pro-life, Christian, wants kids, are all realistic expectations and reviewing those things before going on a date is evaluating someone.
[/quote]

My problem is with the term 'evaluating'. It may be something we all do without realising; we all make judgements on people, and it's necessary. But combined with the information on the number of other threads Light and Truth has posted about dating, I think her type of evaluating is a little bit too intense.

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[quote name='Noel's angel' timestamp='1351708717' post='2501276']But combined with the information on the number of other threads Light and Truth has posted about dating, I think her type of evaluating is a little bit too intense.[/quote]
Quite possibly.

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[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1351649239' post='2500820']
Most people don't consider themselves dating someone on the first date until they're officially dating. I think, unless you're friends beforehand, most people consider that first date a get to know you session and see if there is any potential for another date. It's long term dating that should not be done if you have no intention of marrying someone. And you just need to evaluate the information as it becomes available. You start by automatically evaluating based on their appearance.[/quote]
And sometimes this is the flaw in saying you should not date someone you would not marry, which I have heard many times over the years. A first date is engaging in the activity of dating.

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1351639724' post='2500615']
My father said you shouldn't date someone you wouldn't consider marrying.
[/quote]
Is this what you mean, being in an official (romantic, bf/gf) relationship?

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LouisvilleFan

[quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1351632136' post='2500522']
(or girl, but I am a female and the subject line is only so long).

At what point do you start evaluating a person as a potential spouse requirements, on the first date or when you start flirting prior to the date? (Assume the person seems age-appropriate, does not seem unChristian, and appears single).
[/quote]

At the moment you learn of their existence.

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ContemporaryCaflicCrusader

Some one gets on your dating radar as soon as you know there the right age, gender, and are a real practicing Catholic. Want to know if someone is a real practicing Catholic? Simple, "Hey Lady, so is it NFP all the way or what?!? If she looks at you like you took away a obese 5 year old boys chocolate cake you might want to move on to another lady... Like a real Catholic one.

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[quote name='Noel's angel' timestamp='1351708717' post='2501276']
My problem is with the term 'evaluating'. It may be something we all do without realising; we all make judgements on people, and it's necessary. But combined with the information on the number of other threads Light and Truth has posted about dating, I think her type of evaluating is a little bit too intense.
[/quote]
So what is (proper) normal?

Edited by Light and Truth
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There are certain things in life that cannot, and should not, be measured. If you are constantly evaluating, measuring and judging, you'll end up missing out on some great experiences (trust me, I've been there). Try not to think too much because you will cripple yourself completely, always over-analysing and stressing about things you cannot control. You may have certain ideas about the type of man you wish to marry, but there's a fair chance the one you do end up marrying won't tick many of the boxes. You have to decide what is MOST important, i.e. would you consider marrying someone of a different faith? But things like, 'He has to be at least this height and from a certain culture, and he must like all the things I like' - those types of thoughts will get you nowhere.

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[quote name='Noel's angel' timestamp='1351881499' post='2503043']But things like, 'He has to be at least this height and from a certain culture, and he must like all the things I like' - those types of thoughts will get you nowhere.
[/quote]
I would tend to stick to not more than 2 inches shorter than I am. Besides, I look good in heels, imo.

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Number one, he has to be hawt! Number two, prolly should be the same religion as you.

As it says in Leviticus 19:19 - Keep my statutes: do not breed any of your domestic animals with others of a different species; do not sow a field of yours with two different kinds of seed: and do not put on a garment woven with two different kinds of thread.

Dating should be fun! You're seeing if ya'll have good enough chemistry to eventually tie the knot.

Oh to be in love, such a great feeling! It's a drug that our body naturally produces.

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missionseeker

[quote name='Freedom' timestamp='1352052694' post='2503933']
Number one, he has to be hawt! Number two, prolly should be the same religion as you.

As it says in Leviticus 19:19 - Keep my statutes: do not breed any of your domestic animals with others of a different species; do not sow a field of yours with two different kinds of seed: and do not put on a garment woven with two different kinds of thread.

Dating should be fun! You're seeing if ya'll have good enough chemistry to eventually tie the knot.

Oh to be in love, such a great feeling! It's a drug that our body naturally produces.
[/quote]

Do you realize that many Protestants use this as reason why white people should only date white people and blacks black and so forth?

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[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1352053213' post='2503951']
Do you realize that many Protestants use this as reason why white people should only date white people and blacks black and so forth?
[/quote]

Who said anything about ethnicity? I was clearly talking religion.

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