MeteorShower Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) I know, it's way past the feast of St. Therese, but that's irrelevant right now. Also, I didn't think this was relevant to the vocation station, so I decided to post it here - hope that's ok. So, I was telling Lil'Mon this earlier. A friend of mine - my childhood best friend - was recently tagged in photographs on facebook of her at a Halloween party in a Nun costume. I'm sure I don't have to describe what the costume looked like. I feel bound to take some action - since this is an issue that I am very sensitive about - but I wanted to do so in a way that wouldn't sound preachy or wouldn't start an argument. Initially I was planning on telling her in a private message, as kindly as possible, that I found such costumes offensive. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized the damage was already done. She can't change her actions, so she would likely get defensive and we would both end up unhappy. I think it is worth mentioning that we don't live in the same country anymore. I haven't seen her in five years. Throughout those five years I have prayed that she would come to know the love of God; she has no religious background at all. So as I was thinking, the idea of sending her a one rose invitation suddenly popped into my head. My thought was, at the least, it would maybe start a discussion on the religious life and open her eyes to what it is really like (I am assuming that she is totally ignorant of it, as with most things to do with the Catholic faith), and at best, maybe she would want to learn more about the faith as a whole. It's a long shot, I know... Anyway, I would just like some advice. I know that the one rose invitation is designed for people who we'd think would make a good sister. Would it be wrong to send her one - especially considering that she is not Catholic? Or should I approach this in a different way? Edited October 21, 2012 by MeteorShower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorShower Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 I guess that this is worth mentioning as well. Another idea that I had - that I discussed briefly with Lil'Mon - was making a video diary of all the Catholic events that I go to or just talking about Catholic stuff. This would be even better if I could get some photographs or footage of retreats or community visits (all under restrictions, of course). Although that would be quite an undertaking and would probably take a while. The idea was to just make, like, ten discs and package them off to her. I don't know, I guess I'm just upset about the situation. I love her very dearly and I am saddened - not only by the nun picture - but by the way she seems to live her life. I don't mean to judge her, not in any way, but it's just the impression that I get from facebook. Maybe just pray for us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 I am not familiar with the one rose invitation though I am very familiar with St. Therese. I just had to write that my older cousin dressed up as a pregnant nun one year for Halloween. I saw a picture of her with her 3 kids and her husband dressed in a Nacho Libre outfit. I can't tell you how offensive I found that. And, she is a Catholic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 I personally this it is worth doing and even worth saying something about the costumes. My brother and his ex-wife (neither are Catholic) two years ago dressed up as a priest and a nun. I didn't say anything at the time, and I regret it. I did him no service by not telling him he was committing blasphemy. I know your situation is a bit different as you are not very close to her. But I personally believe it might be worth telling her. To hopefully help her in the future. I dunno just my 2 cent worth- I will be curious to see what others have to say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r2Dtoo Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 I don't really know what a one rose invitation is but it sounds better than an argument. When they were little boys don't a lot of priests say they "play Mass" or whatever? Isn't dressing up as a nun sorta the same idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 It is the sexually suggestive nun customs I think she is referring to, at least the ones I am referring to. Particularly in my brothers case it was intended to be mocking and derogatory. I have no problem if someone wants to dress up as a nun or a priest in general. In fact it is pretty cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Mater, I don't think I'd send her a one rose invite -- because she might think you were approving of seeing her in a nun costume. I think I would let her know - as part of a more general letter so she knows it is intended in a good way.... - that you saw that photo and that it really caused you some distress. I don't know if this would help or not: Many years ago, while I was in the convent, one of my mother's bosses started talking to her about the new-ly founded 'sisters of perpetual indulgence' - the group of gay guys who wear 'habits' and do it really to mock the church. (Now.... in all fainess, they do a lot of good charitable work, and THEY would say it is all in fun... but it really has a mean edge....) I'm sure you have all seen the pictures-- I don't need to give them more press... My mother listenened to what he said, looked at the pictures he had (I think it was a newspaper article) and then she said very quietly and lovingly, "Mr. B., I know you think that they are funny.... but i don't. I think you are only seeing the funny side of their punny-names and outlandisher-than-the-original style habits, and I can see where you might see that.... but as you know, my daughter is studying to be a nun (he wasn't Catholic and it was easier to explain it that way) and I can tell you the amount of hard work, personal sacrifice that it entails for both the young women and their families. It is an insult to me, my daughter, and to all of the wonderful work those dedicated women have provided through the years, to see them mocked in that way. I don't think it you would appreciate it if someone was making fun of someone in the Jewish community that way... even if it was 'for a good cause." He just looked at her, gulped, and then said, "Mrs. X, I hadn't seen it that way, but I can see how you might feel. I never intended to insult you, and I do apologize." and that was that.... and no more 'sisters' in that office.... So pray about it... talk to our Lord about it.... and then make your correction in such a way that she might HEAR what you are saying. It isn't about trapping and snapping someone... it is about loving them enough to let them see what they are doing..... Will pray for both of you..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorShower Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 Meteor?* Thanks for the advice, although you need not worry about me "trapping" her. That was not my intention at all. Not in any way. This is one of my dearest friends who, because of circumstances beyond our control, I have had little contact with over the past few years. I love her so much and I have always prayed that she would experience the love of Christ as I have. Yes, I am offended, but the reason for my distress over this situation stems more from worry about her than anything else. Anyway, you are very right; I have been praying about it today and I have decided that my initial thoughts would not be good courses of action to take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorShower Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 [quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1350846103' post='2495705'] Many years ago, while I was in the convent, one of my mother's bosses started talking to her about the new-ly founded 'sisters of perpetual indulgence' - the group of gay guys who wear 'habits' and do it really to mock the church. (Now.... in all fainess, they do a lot of good charitable work, and THEY would say it is all in fun... but it really has a mean edge....) I'm sure you have all seen the pictures-- I don't need to give them more press... [/quote] I had forgotten about this group -_- I suppose the way nuns and sisters are treated in society is just something terribly upsetting that we all have to deal with, much in the same way that The Church as a whole is treated and perceived Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) [i][b]Meteor[/b][/i], I am SO sorry.... not enough coffee yet this morning! Yeah, they're still around. I am trained as a counselor, and one of the things they tell counselors is to not be surprised when people turn on us and scream, yell, and generally behave badly toward the counselor. It is what is called 'projection' -- they are projecting (like an old-fashioned movie projector) something from their past onto you and THAT is what they are seeing. I think a lot of the anger and hatred that gets projected onto today's church stems from some real (and sometiems not so real) bad experiences with priests, nuns, etc. in the past. ... and so those habits make just a lovely target. And so do Catholics in general... But in the long run, it is a privilege to share that spot with Jesus Crucified, isn't it? Edited October 21, 2012 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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