Contraceptives? Can't Be Catholic At Work?

[tinytherese]

My mom and I recently had an argument regarding Planned Parenthood. There was a commercial about the Komen Society with it's pink color symbolizing the fight against breast cancer. I informed my mom that they gave to Planned Parenthood and she was skeptical about why a fundraiser would donate money and why to Planned Parenthood. She asked where I specifically heard that from, not believing me.

She also said that Planned Parenthood is a good company that provides girls with counseling and testing. (She's Catholic and sings in our parish choir.) I told her that girls can also receive this treatment from crisis pregnancy centers without going to a place that promotes contraception and abortion. She protested that Planned Parenthood does so much good by educating the community and contraceptives and providing free contraception.

I responded by telling her that I had done plenty of research regarding the side affects of contraception and how its various forms can actually weaken a girl's immune system so that she is even more vulnerable to getting an STD, and that the pill and abortion are linked to breast cancer. Also, even girls who frequently contracept can get pregnant. She responded by saying that there are teens, even as young as 13 that she has worked with who no matter how much they are educated on the realities of contraception and the beauty of waiting until marriage that will have sex anyway, so teens should be provided with contraceptives.

She's a lawyer, more specifically a public defender. Because of the economy and the money put in to recover from the flood that happened in June of 2008 the direction of the law firm that she works had at to change direction. So she represents juvenile cases as well as represents children in custody battles with relatives and foster parents.

She knows that I used to do volunteer work for a non-profit abstinence education group that worked with middle schoolers not just on abstinence but decision making when it comes to other issues such as internet safety, drugs, alcohol, etc. They do this without mentioning God so that they can educate in public schools as well as other places that give them permission to come. She said that the group didn't seem to be doing a good job because none of her clients seemed to be mentioning this group. I told her that they are having trouble with funding their program because so many government funds go to non-abstinence education programs and besides, not every place wants the group to come because of their moral stance.

Mom said that she didn't know anyone who donated to sex ed programs and she didn't appear to believe me that not everyone wanted this group to educate the adolescents. She appears to find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't want this group to teach their teens and is oblivious or down right doubts that there are many people who are completely against abstinence education in the political world. She doesn't believe what I say that there are those who are trying very hard (including Planned Parenthood) to abolish abstinence education.

On top of that, I told her that advising her clients to contracept if they refuse to be chaste is contrary to the Catholic faith, she said that she isn't supposed to be Catholic at work. She ranted about how she wasn't supposed to convert them and that she was just doing her job. I told her that she could try to promote Catholic morality without being explicit about her personally being Catholic. She keeps arguing that most of her clients are not Catholic and that it would be rude to treat them like they are.

I kept trying to explain that she doesn't have to treat them like they are Catholic but that she doesn't have to go against her Catholic faith's practices in the process. She wouldn't budge on the issue though. She says that you can't ignore that there are people who don't support Church teaching and replied that no one is saying that you have to ignore that. She tried to argue that she represents criminals who have done other things that go against Church teaching like steal and do drugs. I told her that that wasn't the same thing, but she didn't buy it. When advising criminals, she sure isn't telling them that stealing and doing drugs are ok., but is trying to prove that they are innocent or not guilty if that is the case or at least get them less serious sentencing.

Growl. I feel like finally reading Christifidelis Laici. I know that the aspect of lay people spreading the Gospel is touched upon in Lumen Gentium and Gaudium et Spes from my ecclesiology class.

[4588686]

Your mother is a wise woman and you should listen to her.

[eagle_eye222001]

You've tried. Let it go.

Not all battles are to be won by us.....in fact.......precious few are.

[OnlySunshine]

I had this same argument with my mom a few years ago and it didn't end well at the time. I realized that I was being holier-than-thou and wasn't getting my point (even though it was a good one) across because of my tone and argumentative attitude. You presented the facts and it's your mother's decision to accept it. If she didn't then it's best not to push because that pushes her further away. It's a sad reality but we come to these things on our own. It's like a conversion and it has to take place when the person is ready to change. Now that you have given her the facts, pray that she will think about them and do her own research. This is what my mom did. She also heard what I had said from other sources so she knew that I wasn't just being stubborn and argumentative. Fortunately, she is coming around, although she does still have some learning to do but I don't push anymore. I've realized it doesn't work. I say one quick thing and let it be. If she wants to ask more questions, that's fine. I hope this helps!

[Groo the Wanderer]

love your mom...punch hasan

[CatherineM]

Sign her up for the Catholic Lawyers Guild or St. Thomas More Society depending on which one locally is more in line with Church teachings. It varies from location to location. Getting their literature might help. She's not likely to ever listen to you, but may to her peers.

[tinytherese]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1350511614' post='2494217']
I had this same argument with my mom a few years ago and it didn't end well at the time. I realized that I was being holier-than-thou and wasn't getting my point (even though it was a good one) across because of my tone and argumentative attitude. You presented the facts and it's your mother's decision to accept it. If she didn't then it's best not to push because that pushes her further away. It's a sad reality but we come to these things on our own. It's like a conversion and it has to take place when the person is ready to change. Now that you have given her the facts, pray that she will think about them and do her own research. This is what my mom did. She also heard what I had said from other sources so she knew that I wasn't just being stubborn and argumentative. Fortunately, she is coming around, although she does still have some learning to do but I don't push anymore. I've realized it doesn't work. I say one quick thing and let it be. If she wants to ask more questions, that's fine. I hope this helps!
[/quote]

Thanks, I'll take your advice. I noticed my temper rising during the conversation as well. I felt like venting here.

[PhuturePriest]

What on earth is this devilry? I made a long post a few days ago right after Hasan, but it seems it didn't post fully. Well, I'm not trying again. Knowing my irony that probably would have ended up my most liked post ever.