The Foster Care System

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1350883939' post='2495853']


I am pretty sure they call that entrapment.
[/quote]
I was thinking statutory.

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1350880837' post='2495835']
Can you make foster kids clean house and mow lawns?
[/quote]
And cook you dinner, and get the mail, and fill in at work for you, and throw across the room when your having a bad day. Yup, all of that is cool.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350884201' post='2495858']
I was thinking statutory.
[/quote]
You would be thinking that.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350884098' post='2495855']
If you were a girl I would still say no. The only thing that makes the situation you describe different is your gender.
[/quote]

Now, I never thought I would resemble a feminist in some sort of way, but what on earth does gender have to do with foster care? It's the same principle if you are a man or a woman: You must leave home. Nice people (Most of the people are nice, anyway) say you can live with them. Nice people get water-boarded for information. The social worker gives you the all-clear to live with them. You move in and live with them. Ta-freakin'-dah. I have no clue what dynamic changes when living under a nineteen and twenty one year old's house as a woman other than you are more likely to side with the woman in arguments, whereas it would be different if you were a man.

Edited October 22, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1350885536' post='2495864']

You would be thinking that.
[/quote]
I've actually worked with enough foster kids to know that's exactly what I should be thinking. I've also worked with enough foster kids to hate them.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350885794' post='2495867']
I've actually worked with enough foster kids to know that's exactly what I should be thinking. I've also worked with enough foster kids to hate them.
[/quote]

You hate foster kids?

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1350885746' post='2495866']


Now, I never thought I would resemble a feminist in some sort of way, but what on earth does gender have to do with foster care? It's the same principle if you are a man or a woman: You must leave home. Nice people (Most of the people are nice, anyway) say you can live with them. Nice people get water-boarded for information. The social worker gives you the all-clear to live with them. You move in and live with them. Ta-freakin'-dah. I have no clue what dynamic changes when living under a nineteen and twenty one year old's house other than you are more likely to side with the woman in arguments, whereas it would be different if you were a man.
[/quote]
Nice people also commit rape even after supposedly being waterboarded.

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1350885834' post='2495869']


You hate foster kids?
[/quote]
They're master manipulatiors that make Presidents look like amueters. They view you like a parasite views a host, and will drain the emotional and fianical life out of you just for kicks. Yeah, I want nothing to do with them.

They do not deserve to be raped, however. No one does. I'm not that "unChristian" as you're probably going to argue. Not that you have idea what I've seen of them.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350885794' post='2495867']
I've actually worked with enough foster kids to know that's exactly what I should be thinking. I've also worked with enough foster kids to hate them.
[/quote]

Yeah, all joking aside I am sure that it is a constant concern for kids in foster care.

[r2Dtoo]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1350886579' post='2495873']


Yeah, all joking aside I am sure that it is a constant concern for kids in foster care.
[/quote]
Yeah, and those kids know that too.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350885933' post='2495870']
Nice people also commit rape even after supposedly being waterboarded.
[/quote]

Wait wait wait wait wait... You're saying that as a seventeen year old girl I would not want to have nineteen and twenty one year old foster parents because I would be raped? Why are nineteen and twenty one year old's so special? Why just them? And how about this for some intellectual thought: Men get raped too. It's not a documented fact or politically correct thing to say, but they do. So if rape was a concern it wouldn't be gender-specific, it would be an all-around concern.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350886270' post='2495872']
They're master manipulatiors that make Presidents look like amueters. They view you like a parasite views a host, and will drain the emotional and fianical life out of you just for kicks. Yeah, I want nothing to do with them.

They do not deserve to be raped, however. No one does. I'm not that "unChristian" as you're probably going to argue. Not that you have idea what I've seen of them.
[/quote]

Foster kids are kids just like anybody else and they deserve our love and respect. Sadly, I would be willing to bet they have higher crime rates than regular kids. But this is because of their upbringing. They are in foster care for a reason, and they learned from their parents. The last thing they need is to be shunned and hated. What they need is love and loads of discipline.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1350887199' post='2495877']


Foster kids are kids just like anybody else and they deserve our love and respect. Sadly, I would be willing to bet they have higher crime rates than regular kids. But this is because of their upbringing. They are in foster care for a reason, and they learned from their parents. The last thing they need is to be shunned and hated. What they need is love and loads of discipline.
[/quote]This is true. R2 is correct in that many foster kids are good manipulators, as it's a bit of a survival skill they've learned. They have no reason to trust the foster family, and it can be quite difficult. But yes, they need our love, like anyone else.

[Starets]

[quote name='r2Dtoo' timestamp='1350886270' post='2495872']
They're master manipulatiors that make Presidents look like amueters. They view you like a parasite views a host, and will drain the emotional and fianical life out of you just for kicks. Yeah, I want nothing to do with them.

They do not deserve to be raped, however. No one does. I'm not that "unChristian" as you're probably going to argue. Not that you have idea what I've seen of them.
[/quote]

Young man, I spent six years as a foster child. Sure some of them are manipulative, mentally disturbed, criminal and even evil. But not all of them. Not by a long shot. I have seen enough of them to love them. Some of them simply want to be loved and don't know how to go about doing that.

Being a non-abusive, caring yet tough foster parent to a teen is extremely difficult. personally I don't think I could do it Anyone who can has my admiration.

The most difficult thing about foster care, from my experience, is that you don't know if the bed you wake up in in the morning is going to be the same bed you fall asleep in the following evening.

One thing I would like to see added to the foster care system are some group homes that would be staffed by people who are paid a decent wage and can provide that unique combination of "giving discipline" and "giving a hoot" that the teen "veterans" of the system seem to need.

When I was a rent-a-kid, I was written off as someone who was mentally retarded, who would never finish High School, never live independantly, never hold down a job, and would have to be institutionalised. I have a university degree, I lived on my own and held down jobs in a couple different fields for a couple decades before entering religious life, and have never been institutionalised. Not only that, I know what my tested IQ is and it is a few points above the cutoff for mental retardation.

I am not a monk right now but will be visiting a new monastery in December with the possibility of joining.

Did I have a dificult time as a rent-a-kid? Yep. Was some of it my own fault? Also yes. But I persevered. I clawed my way to where I am tooth and nail. I wasn't gong to be the failure that I was "predicted" to be by the "experts". For most of my 20's I was, however. But I kept at it.

Would you like to rephrase what you said above in my presence?

[Slappo]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1350426213' post='2494072']

I wouldn't say that is always necessarily terrifying. If I were put under my sister and her husband-to-be's care I would do perfectly fine. They are both wonderful people who would do nothing but help me. This is not always the case, but it is in some cases. And yes, it's probably not always so careful which is why it needs definite reform. But there have been many successful stories in foster care.
[/quote]

Two huge differences:
1. Your sister isn't a stranger. She's a relative.
2. Your sister is married to her husband, not living with her boyfriend.


Having a 17 year old bunk up with a couple friends of her's a few years older is not a [b]foster [u]home[/u][/b]. The young adult friends aren't going to teach her financial planning, provide real life wisdom on relationships, discipline her, encourage/force her to complete high school etc...