tinytherese Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 So many abuses occur in the system and sometimes kids are given back to their toxic parents. How can the system be improved? How about other alternatives? Orphanages have their problems too. How can they be improved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 Bueller?...Bueller? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Let's make this spicier. Knowing that there are such terrible, heartbreaking abuses and flaws within this system, and the cultural awareness of these atrocities, how is anyone ever supposed to convincingly argue that adoption is preferable to abortion? I'm talking specifically about doing more than scoring the Pro-Life equivalent of brownie points for saying something along the lines of "Uh, well wouldn't you rather be alive than dead?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1350107929' post='2492991'] Let's make this [s]spicier.[/s] lamer. [/quote] Fixed. If you cannot see for yourself that life, no matter what, is preferable to death, then nothing anyone can say will convince you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1350107929' post='2492991'] Let's make this spicier. Knowing that there are such terrible, heartbreaking abuses and flaws within this system, and the cultural awareness of these atrocities, how is anyone ever supposed to convincingly argue that adoption is preferable to abortion? I'm talking specifically about doing more than scoring the Pro-Life equivalent of brownie points for saying something along the lines of "Uh, well wouldn't you rather be alive than dead?" [/quote]from the observation of five adopted nieces nephews, three childhood friends, my eldest daughter boy friend, and another handful of people, I would see they're very much alive and happy. There are always people inflicting mental and physical harm. Their is a lot of effort to take care and monitor kids it's underfunded, ignored by society, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) I've been waiting to reply to this, as I wanted to hear other thoughts and give myself a little time to think about it. This is a subject rather dear to my heart. There was a time when neither of my parents were unable to take care of me when I was in my early teens until I graduated high school. I could have been put into the system, believe me there was cause. Fortunately, at the local baptist church I was going to, a lady took me and my brother in. My father supporter her financially some. It was not the easiest situation for her. I was a punk- yeah I know not much has changed. I wasn't out doing drugs or anything of that sort in high school. I was a straight A student that hung out at church all the time. I was just basically mad at the world for anything and everything. She never had kids, so was more then a bit overwhelmed with a teenage girl. Thankfully my brother and her got on really well. Anyways, this I feel is the most ideal situation if family is not able to help raise the child. The government didn't have to be involved, case workers, appointments, people just seeking a government check. There was also a church community helping her to an extent. I know not everyone goes to church, but my point is for this to be taken back down to the local level. Far to many kids slip through the cracks when you are dealing with top-down approach. The case workers, put in place to prevent this, are way too overwhelmed. They can't see all the kids they are supposed to. So what is meant to be the key to preventing an abuse has been proven to be ineffective. Obviously I cannot solve the crisis in the foster care system in a short paragraph, but those are a few of my thoughts on the matter. Oh and Kujo- I was meant to be aborted- my mom got pregnant with me while she was on the pill. At the time my sister (2) and my brothers (both 1- twins) were still in diapers. My family had no money and could barely feed my siblings. Then surprised! There I was. I haven't had the easiest life but I am thankful to be alive. Today I am authentically happy person. So yes, any option is preferable to me having been killed before I had a chance to speak for myself. There is also a vast difference between adoption and foster care. I know that only the most heroic of woman can actually choose the option of placing their child in an adoptive home, but those that do are truly choosing the most selfless act. So I am not saying it is easy, but indeed is a good option. Edited: to change a little wording and fix punctuation Edited October 13, 2012 by To Jesus Through Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Yes, the foster care system smells of elderberries at times. We had two foster kids, and it was hard, especially since one was (temporarily, thankfully) sent back to his abusive parents for a short time. It isn't perfect. At the same time, we do need to give parents the courtesy of being innocent until proven guilty (of course, his parens were known abusers when he was sent back, though the documentation of abuse was all for his younger brothers, not him). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 How about this? You aren't allowed to adopt a foreign child, who isn't an actual relative, so long as a single adoptable child is available locally. Second, relatives who take in children rather than see them in foster care should be paid the same amount of money to care for them as foster parents get. Thirdly, any single mother receiving welfare should be allowed to take in foster children without it affecting her support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have a couple of foreign born nephews, Vietnamese and Guatemalan. What's the harm? It's very difficult to adopt US kids because we don't severe parental rights and the birth parents get "adopted" too. I have friends that were foster 'rents for about ten years and then tried to adopt an infant they were fostering whose parents were drug addled felons. Three years it took and there is still BS they get from the DNA donors. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) I don't have any knowledge of the foster care system, but speaking generally, I'm a believer in taking young people seriously and giving them freedom to grow. They aren't a "problem" to solve, they're human beings. We could consider something like youth camps where basically kids without homes or with "problems" would be given the freedom to develop their own society, since they've been shut out of mainstream society already. I don't think such camps have to be restricted to "problem" youth..."regular" youth would benefit just as much from being given room and resources to discover their freedom. Would there be problems in such a camp? Of course, there are problems wherever human beings exercise their freedom. But as it is now, young people who are shunned from society (whether they be foster kids, delinquents, dropouts, whatever) are in a permanent state of inferiority and exclusion, and it doesn't have to be that way. Adults play an important role in guiding and providing resources for young people to discover and develop their freedom, but we need to stop being such tyrants as adults. I say all this mainly in light of the school system, which I do know something about, but I see most institutions like schools, foster care, etc. as operating along the same basic institutional lines where it's more about managing abstractions than it is about giving young people space and resources to find their way in life. Edited October 13, 2012 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1350107929' post='2492991'] Let's make this spicier. Knowing that there are such terrible, heartbreaking abuses and flaws within this system, and the cultural awareness of these atrocities, how is anyone ever supposed to convincingly argue that adoption is preferable to abortion? I'm talking specifically about doing more than scoring the Pro-Life equivalent of brownie points for saying something along the lines of "Uh, well wouldn't you rather be alive than dead?" [/quote] The problem is that the problems in schools, foster care systems, etc. are not problems limited to a certain group of people. If there are problems in these institutions it's because adults have created the institutions in their own image. These problems can only be solved by changing the underlying problems whereby human beings have become chess pieces that we pawn off into institutions (whether it's office mice in the rat race, problem youth in foster homes, dropouts on on the street corner, whoever). These problems are our problems. Edited October 13, 2012 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) What's this? Two topics I actually have some minor experience in? I feel as if I shouldn't even be posting... I had two foster brothers. Well, one was technically in foster care, the other was simply entrusted to us, but it was basically the same principal: Mother couldn't care for him, off he went to us.They were both sixteen, and having grown up in broken homes, they were troublemakers. We took them in, fed them, housed them, made them a part of the family, and I really enjoyed having them around. However, they hated the discipline my parents gave them, and after a while of not being able to have two thousand dollar phone bills (Seriously, that happened. I think it may have been more) they decided to run away. Since then we have been in contact and all, but in my minor experience I would say if you do the foster care system make sure they are younger kids so you can whip them into shape, or be Dr. Ray Guarendi. Either or. When it comes to adoption, my future brother-in-law and his two brothers are all adopted. Their adoptive parents were going to get just the one, but then they found out he had brothers, so they took them all in. They have a very successful story in adoption. The youngest (Who is my future brother-in-law) graduated at Benedictine College and he is making a good living at a business where they make and repair tractors, and his twin is making a very healthy living doing drafts for architects. They're both well-grounded in the faith and are very respectful and kind. The oldest one has many problems, but that is because before he was adopted his mother never cuddled him or anything. He was just left in his crib for hours at a time, seeing people only when he was fed. This caused many mental problems, and so it cannot be blamed on the adoptive parents. So yes, adoption and foster care are not always successful, but they are not always a failure either. It depends on the person. In adoption services you usually get to pick the parents, and I can tell you from experience foster care is extremely careful in the parents. I'm pretty sure my parents were waterboarded for information. Edited October 13, 2012 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1350138122' post='2493029'] How about this? You aren't allowed to adopt a foreign child, who isn't an actual relative, so long as a single adoptable child is available locally. [/quote] i'd agree with this, but there's people who adopt foreign children who have Down's Syndrome or other illnesses that won't be treated properly in the institutions they are in overseas. (I'm thinking specifically of Reese's Rainbow children) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1350187444' post='2493220'] i'd agree with this, but there's people who adopt foreign children who have Down's Syndrome or other illnesses that won't be treated properly in the institutions they are in overseas. (I'm thinking specifically of Reese's Rainbow children) [/quote] There are exceptions. I was in a bad mood when I wrote that. I had just read that there are so many foster kids in Florida that in some places they are being housed in empty office buildings. The cubicle orphanage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1350224346' post='2493259'] There are exceptions. I was in a bad mood when I wrote that. I had just read that there are so many foster kids in Florida that in some places they are being housed in empty office buildings. The cubicle orphanage. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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