I'm Falling Apart

[the171]

I can't receive the Eucharist, I can't go to confession, I can't pray. If I receive then I'll commit blasphemy. If I go to confession it will be illicit because I won't truly be sorry for my sin of unbelief. I can't pray because my hubris is preventing me from doing so. I am depressed, hurt, and tired. I am so prideful. I just can't believe in God. I'm kind of desperate here. Even though I believe that prayer has no effect, I am asking for prayers. I am desperate here. I am going to talk to Padre after school. I really don't know where to go from here. I am just a mess right now.