So, This Isn'n About Religious Life But Is About Vocation....

[Annie12]

I feel like God is telling me who my future spouse is, but it seems so far fetched that I don't even want to think about it seriously. But the worst thing by far is that I'm fine all through the day but when I see him with other people, I don't know, I get all torn up inside. II feel like this:

I'm way too nervous around him to do anything about this, so what is God telling me? I don't see how this could possibly go anywhere! He's telling me my vocation but then only tells me to have faith in him!!! NOTHING HAS HAPPENED and I'm starting to think[u] I listened wrong or something[/u]. but his voice has been so clear. I know God has his own timing but I don't know how to deal with these emotions. they're eating away at me. I love God, but my feeling for this Guy are so intrusive upon my life right now. I wish I could just throw my feeling in a fire but I can't because they won't go away and I don't know what to do about this. So, far all I have done is pray and hope and try to talk to this guy, but I always end up looking stupid. Why has God put this upon me? I want to ignore this whole thing but I can't!!!!

(please be merciful in your responses, I'm pretty sad right now)

[PhuturePriest]

Others will give better advice than I can so I won't give advice. Women are different and take things different so I don't want to say anything wrong. I'll be praying for you. But some advice when it comes to threads, dUSt banned any threads about dating or marriage in Vocation Station about a year ago. Don't worry about it since you didn't know, just keep this in mind when posting future threads.

[Lilllabettt]

If Our Lady appeared before you, pointed to this guy, and said "this is who you are supposed to marry" ... it would still be possible that you dreaming, having an episode, or simply misinterpreted what she was trying to tell you.

No matter how clear we think God is being with us, the most we can do as human beings is make ourselves open and available to follow what we think is His plan. We can not make what we think God wants happen. It is God, not us, who brings things to fruition.

There are 2 ways that God teaches young people patience: 1. by waiting 2. by loss. It seems at this particular point you are learning by #1.

[Archaeology cat]

Annie, I liked, really liked, my husband for quie a while before I started dating him. It took until my last semester before I even started hanging out more with him, and I still didn't have the nerve the hang out just with him. I went onthe pretext that I was good friends with one of his roommates. I hoped and prayed and pined, but couldn't act, and he didn't act, either. On the day of my graduation, he ended up being the first person I saw afterwards, and somehow I just knew we'd get married. Bear in mind we had never dated or even had serious one-on-one conversations before then. It was at that point, when I was leaving but he wasn't (I graduated a semester early), that I worked up the nerve to contact him more. I didn't let him knowi liked him, at least not overtly, but I'd email and such, and he'd write back, and a few months later he nervously asked me out. I'm so impatient, Annie, and the waiting was hard. Goodness, I still have a hard time waiting for things! So all that is to say that I understand. I've been there. It isn't easy, so I won't say it is. You and he have my prayers.

[To Jesus Through Mary]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1349657141' post='2491065']
NOTHING HAS HAPPENED and I'm starting to think[u] I listened wrong or something[/u]. but his voice has been so clear. I know God has his own timing but I don't know how to deal with these emotions. they're eating away at me.
[/quote]

Hun, you need to speak with a spiritual director. Tell him why you feel so certain you heard God voice and let him help you discern if you did in fact hear his voice. Something of this type of nature can't really be discerned on an internet forum, as there is much we are missing in the story. I will tell you, God does not speak to us through turmoil, but peace. Discernment of spirits- super important!

As for the emotions, I am an extremely emotional person. I am super sensitive. I have had to learn over the years that my emotions do not control me. Through my own weakness I allowed these passions/emotions to rule my life. Then I realized I needed to cope with them in a more healthy manner. My suggestion for you and what I have to do for myself, stop dwelling. Yes stop thinking about it! Every time you start to think of him or whatever situation that is invoking this disproportionate reaction get busy. Call a friend, go for a walk, listen to music, play various videos on youtube, study (I know shocking concept for college students! ) do what every hobby you do. If you don't have a hobby find one. Volunteer someone. Find someone who needs a friend and reach out to them. The more I was able to push myself outside of myself the less my emotions controlled me. I found when I was busy giving of myself I wasn't thinking about xyz. Eventually I would think about it, but when I was in a better and more objective place to. There is such a pressure for urgency in your mind and I think it is tripping you up even more. I do the same thing! But not everything is urgent. If God has intended to happen it will, but by trying to force it you are seriously only hyping the emotions and will most likely make a mistake. I know this from personal experience. So please don't take this as a judgement. But hun, the advise previously given in the other thread (before it became Winnies thread) still rings true also. You are trying to force something.

[i<3franciscans]

My dear sister in Christ,

Like TJTM said, you should see a spiritual director. He will help you more than you can imagine. I know what it is like to feel completely frustrated, but God gave all of this suffering for a reason, He is using it to mold you into the beautiful daughter of God He wants you to be. You will come out of all of this stronger.

*hug* You are forever in my prayers,
fran

[Annie12]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1349658037' post='2491069']
Others will give better advice than I can so I won't give advice. Women are different and take things different so I don't want to say anything wrong. I'll be praying for you. But some advice when it comes to threads, dUSt banned any threads about dating or marriage in Vocation Station about a year ago. Don't worry about it since you didn't know, just keep this in mind when posting future threads.
[/quote]
Thank you for pointing this out! I was unaware!

Also, thank you all for your prayers they are much appreciated!

[savvy]

It's normal to feel this way when discerning. It's only when you find the community that you seriously want to join, then depending on what attracts you more, will determine your calling,

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1349657141' post='2491065']
I feel like God is telling me who my future spouse is, but it seems so far fetched that I don't even want to think about it seriously. But the worst thing by far is that I'm fine all through the day but when I see him with other people, I don't know, I get all torn up inside. II feel like this:

I'm way too nervous around him to do anything about this, so what is God telling me? I don't see how this could possibly go anywhere! He's telling me my vocation but then only tells me to have faith in him!!! NOTHING HAS HAPPENED and I'm starting to think[u] I listened wrong or something[/u]. but his voice has been so clear. I know God has his own timing but I don't know how to deal with these emotions. they're eating away at me. I love God, but my feeling for this Guy are so intrusive upon my life right now. I wish I could just throw my feeling in a fire but I can't because they won't go away and I don't know what to do about this. So, far all I have done is pray and hope and try to talk to this guy, but I always end up looking stupid. Why has God put this upon me? I want to ignore this whole thing but I can't!!!!

(please be merciful in your responses, I'm pretty sad right now)
[/quote]


Okay one thing I want to say is that our God isn't a God who punishes or wants us to feel sad, or intentionally puts things upon us that makes us feel all of those emotions you're talking about. If our God is a God of love for us, it doesn't make sense that He would intentionally put things in life that hurt us. So don't think that God has put these things upon you to hurt you or make you feel sad because that is the furthest intention that God has for us. God gave us vocations to give us joy and fulfillment through Him, and each vocation has its beauty about it that makes it special. He also gave us the gift of time to discern these vocations. I know you've heard this fifty bagillion times, but seriously time is imperative to a vocation, and it can't be rushed. Enjoy what you have right now, have some fun, don't get all torn up inside over a guy when he's with his friends because that's not going to help you be stronger when real emotional issues arise. God is always going to be there and He will let you know whats right for you at the right TIME that God has in store for you.

I read in another vocational thread that St. Ignatius Spiritual exercises help immensely in discernment, and I think that you should try it. Also what TJTM said is excellent, go see a spiritual director, talk to a sister or priest, and don't let your emotions take control over you. I've had a similar situation happen to me before about this guy I met at a Catholic youth conference, we actually dated for a while, and when we broke up I still had crazy feelings for him that I didn't know how to deal with or comprehend. It was REALLY hard, but the thing that I found most comforting was to pray for him at church, for his well being physically, emotionally, spiritually, and I relied on God's plan if He would bring us back together as friends or something more. It has seemed like an on and off game for a few years now, and it still gets hard, but at least I get to talk to him every now and then, and I've found that putting the situation in God's hands has made it so much easier instead of relying on my emotions. God has a way of things that makes things that we think are hopeless into things that we didn't even know could exist. I know it sounds cliche, but it's the truth.