I Felt Like It Was Time To Spill It

[DiscerningCatholic]

I've been on this forum (excuse me, [i]phorum[/i]) for almost 2 months now , everyone who has ever been in chat with me knows that I'm discerning religious life with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, and I haven't shared how I've come to discern yet. In real life, I am very verbose and it isn't much different on the internet, so you'll have to forgive me.

I have my "discernment story," as I call it, typed up in its [url="http://this-is-radiant-joy.tumblr.com/discernment-story"]entirety[/url] on my blog (sometimes the link doesn't work; there's a button on the side that says "My Story" and that one usually works), but because it's so long and I understand that you might not have 15 minutes to read it (that one's even longer) so I'll try and condense it here.

I was born (okay, adopted) and raised Catholic. My parents had me watch the kids' shows on EWTN on Saturday mornings instead of the "normal" kid cartoons. We said night prayer every night and went to Sunday Mass. My patron saint is St. Therese of Lisieux, and I've had a devotion to her since I was very young. I first said that I wanted to be a nun when I was three years old because my patron saint was a nun. Naturally, I wanted to be a Carmelite, and even wore a homemade Carmelite habit to our All-Saints' Day party when I was five. *cough* Some of you may have seen that picture. *cough*

I met more sisters when I was between the ages of 5 and 8 than most people do in their lifetime. When I was 5, it was some Daughters of St. Paul in their Chicago bookstore. When I was 6, it was Sr. Teresa, OCD who attended my first Communion. (She passed away in 2008.) When I was 8, it was two sisters from a community that I can't remember when I went with my family to visit the EWTN studio and sat in on a live [i]Life on the Rock [/i]taping. And I watched [i]Truth in the Heart[/i] (which, Godincidentally, was hosted by "my" sisters)!!

[img]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/391504_253112484805881_1264874645_n.jpg[/img]

My "career aspiration" was a nun for seven years. I turned ten, and my interests changed. My mind revolved around music, weddings, motherhood, money, Carnegie Hall, repeat. My faith kind of fell by the wayside. My family stopped doing night prayer every night. We still attended Sunday Mass, but that was about the extent of my prayer life. And so it continued like this for five years.

My friends kept telling me, "You'd be an amesome nun!" And instead of the happy feelings and excitement it gave me when I was little, I would make some disgusted face and say, "NO WAY!" I didn't want to be a nun (or a sister; I didn't know the difference between the two). I am ashamed to say that I had the idea in my head that no sisters wore habits anymore, that they were all old and grumpy and all they did was teach CCD. (If that were true, I still wouldn't want to become a sister. ) The thought crossed my mind a lot as I turned 14 and then 15, but I still refused to consider it.

This past June, I attended an amazing conference in Kansas. It was put on by LifeTeen, and was fittingly called the LifeTeen Leadership Conference (LTLC). I went into this conference freaking out because "I won't be able to practice the piano for five days! I won't be able to play anything when I get home!" I went mostly because my youth ministers really wanted me to go, and because I just thought, "Well, hey, I like LifeTeen and the LifeTeen retreats. A five day retreat in Atchison, Kansas can't be that big of a deal."

[Let me interject here that I am very aware that not everyone here on PM likes/approves of LifeTeen, but if you want to complain about LifeTeen, please don't do so under this post. I don't want this thread to morph into a big ugly debate. Yes, the conference was put on by LifeTeen. I'm not going to make up some other organization to meet with the fancy of people on here who don't like LifeTeen. These are just the facts.]

Moving on...

Needless to say, I was completely wrong. God used that conference in ways I never thought possible. My life made a complete 180. I was surrounded by 510 other Catholic teens. There were 18 priests on campus that week. There were 8 seminarians there. And of course, two sisters from the community I now call "my" sisters. It was literally Catholic City.

I was able to spend some time with two sisters from the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist based in Ann Arbor, MI (Sr. Mary Magdalene and Sr. Maria Frassati). They wore full habits. They were in their 20's or 30's. They radiated joy. They were at a youth conference. My stereotypes? ALL of my stereotypes? PROVEN WRONG.

[img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8m88mTMMD1qhnpgc.jpg[/img]

The second night of the conference, they did an incredible Eucharistic Adoration with a procession at the end. The healing that God gave me during that procession was incredible. I received healing that I never knew was possible. I realize now that it was imperative that I be healed from all of those wounds before I was able say yes to whatever God was calling me to. The next night, they did a vocations call where they asked all of the boys who were discerning the priesthood or at least open to the call of priesthood to come up to receive a blessing. Then they called the girls up. I wasn't expecting to go up, but God did what He does best and changed my heart again in a split second. I was the first one to walk to the front of the auditorium. Probably 150 other girls came up as well. One of the sisters from the DSMME - Sr. Maria Frassati - said a prayer over us. I don't know how to describe what happened to me while I stood up there; it almost felt like I heard this great, loud voice telling me, "This is where I want you. This is what I made you for." And once I finally gave my yes to that voice, I felt more peace than I had ever felt when thinking about any other lifestyle I wanted to live. I spent the rest of that conference feeling like I was going to explode from joy.

I've since been discerning religious life and still feel that peace and joy. I've started going to weekly Eucharistic Adoration (that's all the church near my house offers) and Mass when I can go. My prayer life has improved immensely since June. Most of my friends seem to feel that my discernment is old news; I'm more surprised that I'm discerning than they are. They've all actually started calling me "Sr. _____ [birthname]," because they're all so sure that I will have that title (or at least for a while) in the future.

So there you have it! So much for condensed... but I can't really tell it thouroughly if I condense it any more. Hopefully I didn't sound like an idiot.

Edited October 2, 2012 by DiscerningCatholic

[i<3franciscans]

Beautiful story DC!!!!

[cmaD2006]

Don't apologize for stating that LifeTeen made a difference in your life. God uses anything and everything to grab our attention, so even a person who is for/against LifeTeen can't argue with that.

Glad God got your attention

[Eowyn]

Cool!!!

[Lil'Monster]

[PhuturePriest]

D'aww, you look really cute in that picture of you as a child!

[i]A[/i]wesome story! My first ever post on this entire site was my testimony/discernment story, so perhaps if you want I can edit it to death and send it to you?

[DiscerningCatholic]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1349238139' post='2489489']
[i]A[/i]wesome story! My first ever post on this entire site was my testimony/discernment story, so perhaps if you want I can edit it to death and send it to you?
[/quote]

If you'd like!!!

[Rosary]

Great story!

[savvy]

Thanks for sharing discerning Catholic. Lifeteen changed my life too.

[MeteorShower]

[quote name='DiscerningCatholic' timestamp='1349212093' post='2489328']

[img]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/391504_253112484805881_1264874645_n.jpg[/img]

[/quote]

This is such a beautiful picture
It reminds me of the first Sister that I ever met - she was helping me when I made my first confession. You were probably in chat when I mentioned her.

Anyway, avvesome story.Thank you for sharing! I like LifeTeen too; my youth minister and many of the core members have been so encouraging and supportive of me, not only in my discernment but also in my spiritual growth in general and also in overcoming many personal obstacles.

[DiscerningCatholic]

[quote name='MeteorShower' timestamp='1349731278' post='2491371']
This is such a beautiful picture
It reminds me of the first Sister that I ever met - she was helping me when I made my first confession. You were probably in chat when I mentioned her.

Anyway, avvesome story.Thank you for sharing! I like LifeTeen too; my youth minister and many of the core members have been so encouraging and supportive of me, not only in my discernment but also in my spiritual growth in general and also in overcoming many personal obstacles.
[/quote]

I miss Sr. Theresa...

I don't think I remember you mentioning "your" sister...but then again, I forget almost everything.

LifeTeeners unite!

[BigJon16]

[quote name='DiscerningCatholic' timestamp='1349212093' post='2489328']


The second night of the conference, they did an incredible Eucharistic Adoration with a procession at the end. The healing that God gave me during that procession was incredible. I received healing that I never knew was possible. I realize now that it was imperative that I be healed from all of those wounds before I was able say yes to whatever God was calling me to. The next night, they did a vocations call where they asked all of the boys who were discerning the priesthood or at least open to the call of priesthood to come up to receive a blessing. Then they called the girls up. I wasn't expecting to go up, but God did what He does best and changed my heart again in a split second. I was the first one to walk to the front of the auditorium. Probably 150 other girls came up as well. One of the sisters from the DSMME - Sr. Maria Frassati - said a prayer over us. I don't know how to describe what happened to me while I stood up there; it almost felt like I heard this great, loud voice telling me, "This is where I want you. This is what I made you for." And once I finally gave my yes to that voice, I felt more peace than I had ever felt when thinking about any other lifestyle I wanted to live. I spent the rest of that conference feeling like I was going to explode from joy.


[/quote]

I know that feel, sis. It was at a youth conference that I first said yes to God's nudging upon my heart that said "Come follow me." And like you, I have never looked back.

When you go up to that vocation's call, it's like God giving you a glimpse of what might come. To me, it was like Him saying, "behold, your brothers." I am reminded to pray for my brothers and sisters who are also struggling to hear His voice, and I am confident that a few of them are even praying for me.


God bless you, Sr. DC!

[petitpèlerin]

Beautiful story!

I have a friend who is now a novice in a distinctly uncharismatic (although dynamic and orthodox) community, and he's happy and thriving, but it was Life Teen that fed his faith and set him along his path.