BG45 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1348929112' post='2487981'] also: guys are thick and simple. they do not respond to subtlety. they respond with metaphorical 2x4s to the head. [/quote] Very dense guy here. I can confirm this is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Problem identified, now to work on solving it. Won't be easy, I bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1348931557' post='2488004'] You don't really need the message I'm trying to deliver, so it's okay. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1348932071' post='2488013'] [/quote] It's below your skill level. It's a compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 So, in the art of dating, does the woman normally have to bring her affection to the attention of the Man? It that how It goes? I've never dated anyone before so I'm not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1348933314' post='2488022'] So, in the art of dating, does the woman normally have to bring her affection to the attention of the Man? It that how It goes? I've never dated anyone before so I'm not sure. [/quote] This is something I'd like to know too. Never dated either, so I'm staying tuned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Annie, Socrates taught that there were parts of the soul. The appetitive, the passions, and the intellect. The appetitive is the part that says "I want this"- te desires. The passions are the emotions, the feelings that say "if I don't get that I will cry" or anger and jealousy, fear or even courage. An the intellect is te part of the soul that allows us to say "yes, I want that and if I don't get it I will be disappointed but there're reasons that I can see why this particular thing could be a hindrance or even bad for me". The intellect is the part overrides emotions and desires and allows us to discern the good and true and beautiful. He likens the appetitive and passionate parts of the soul to lions that need to be tamed and the intellect to the tamer. It's hard to tame lions. We understand that you really like this guy. But to obsess over something you want is not good for the development of your soul. Nobody is saying you should change the way you feel. You can't really do that. That's why it's called feelings or emotion and not "reasonable-reactions-to-life". What people here are saying is that you need to change the way you react to your feelings for the good of soul. To let your reactions to your desires and your feelings be the end all be all of things is not good. You ARE capable of controlling how you react to your feelings. You can change the way you respond to you wants and emotions. It's not good to let them rule the way you act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1348933314' post='2488022'] So, in the art of dating, does the woman normally have to bring her affection to the attention of the Man? It that how It goes? I've never dated anyone before so I'm not sure. [/quote] the woman usually have to give the guy some clue/hint/blunt statement that says "I'm interested in you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 okay, that's interesting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1348933314' post='2488022'] So, in the art of dating, does the woman normally have to bring her affection to the attention of the Man? It that how It goes? I've never dated anyone before so I'm not sure. [/quote] You walk up to him, say hi, and ask if he wants to go get food with you. Or food with you and another friend, if that's better. If he accepts, rejoice! You can now spend time getting to know him! If he rejects you, don't take it too personally, he might be busy or not hungry. Or if you prefer a less direct approach, when you all hang out together as a group, make conversation with him. Don't talk to him exclusively, but definitely talk to him. If you don't talk with him at all right now, start small. Also talk and laugh with your other friends, so he can see that you're a happy and confident person (or that you can pretend to be a happy and confident person). This method takes a lot longer, but you'll get to know him better in your own elements, hopefully building up enough confidence to eventually ask him to go get food with you. Also pay attention to see if he's interested in anyone else right now. You can save some face if you find out beforehand that he's interested in someone else, and that'll also give you the go ahead to just build up your friendship with this guy. If I were you, I'd work on "coming out of your shell" with your friends, and with your friends around him. Then once he can see that you're a fun and lovely human being, find out if he's interested in anyone and then if he's not go in for the kill. Edited September 29, 2012 by Basilisa Marie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 This is not 1801. It's perfectly OK for you to ask out a guy. I've done the asking twice and been asked once. Assuming I were still available and not in a secular institute, I'd wait until I was asked next time, in the interests of numerical balance. Dating has strong arithmetical rules. ...or not. If you like someone, just make your move. Keep things simple. But before you do, I second Basilia's advice - perhaps let yourself become a little more confident and settled first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 I'm in the same boat of being unhappily single. My best shots of a relationship are one I have reservations about, one whose subcultural interests that are so two life stages ago, and one who may not be a good provider. Things I've learned: Dad's of single sons may point in certain directions, like a singles group where their single son goes when you ask if they know of any good singles groups in the area. Try something new in life, maybe you are overlooking a better source of dating pool for your temperament. Keep working on your life: the more in order it is and the better you manage it, the better off you are to be available for a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ACS67 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 (edited) Annie I don't think you are ready to date. You seem way too "needy" right now and men HATE that in a woman. Take the advice above and work on your confidence and independence. Edited September 29, 2012 by ACS67 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Nothing will help confidence like gaining the trust of an admirer and then crushing his heart like a mouse in a hydraulic press. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1348944056' post='2488090'] Nothing will help confidence like gaining the trust of an admirer and then crushing his heart like a mouse in a hydraulic press. [/quote] Sounds harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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