kujo Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1348084277' post='2484275'] mmm, mmm, mmm.... Kujo, you have been missed..... [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1348084406' post='2484277'] jan 4-7, 2013 Oralndo get your poo in order, son. [/quote] My poo is perpetually in order, gramps. You're the one whose schedule got all vaginal last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 YUS The Kujo is back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1348084122' post='2484269'] I'm actually not interested in a toned down version of FP. I say let your freak flag fly, little bro! Don't let the phroots on Phatmass change who you are; if you want to be a bombastic little know-it-all, I say go for it! We are a phamily, and every family has "that guy"--the guy (or girl) who lectures and pontificates about subjects he/she shouldn't really be talking about. That's you here, and I for one love you for it. Perhaps if you weren't this new squeaky clean version of yourself, I might post more! [/quote] *Moderators read this* "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I honestly had no idea my annoying personality was so well liked. I kind of like, well, being [i]liked [/i]and respect, but every once in a while I'll start telling people how to date just for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1348084249' post='2484274'] since forever.. it's quite obvious [/quote] Why was I never informed that I allegedly had a crush on Lil Red? I recall really liking her, but I never had a crush on her. Maybe the whole "marriage and children" aspect never let the crush part of my brain click with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348086241' post='2484298'] *Moderators read this* "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I honestly had no idea my annoying personality was so well liked. I kind of like, well, being [i]liked [/i]and respect, but every once in a while I'll start telling people how to date just for you. [/quote] Nah I'm more entertained when you talk about how all men are inherently evil and all women are victims of their lustful glances. I like authenticity. Acting in a manner that is designed to make you well liked is BS. Be the annoying little putz we all know you are and, while we still won't like you, and while you may get slapped with the phishy tag like I did, we'll at least respect your realness. Hell, maybe someone will create a "I Miss FP" thread! (Probably not, though) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348086241' post='2484298'] *Moderators read this* "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I honestly had no idea my annoying personality was so well liked. I kind of like, well, being [i]liked [/i]and respect, but every once in a while I'll start telling people how to date just for you. [/quote] Yo man. Tell me how to date. I just don't get it. Who opens the door for whom? If I pay for dinner, is it okay for me to ask her for cab fare home? Should I shave my armpits? When is it okay for me to call her father "da-da"? Do girls like it when guys smell like pineapples and gasoline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348086241' post='2484298'] *Moderators read this* "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I honestly had no idea my annoying personality was so well liked. I kind of like, well, being [i]liked [/i]and respect, but every once in a while I'll start telling people how to date just for you. [/quote] Moderate amounts of 'kujo-ness', FP.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348086366' post='2484299'] Why was I never informed that I allegedly had a crush on Lil Red? [/quote] you should not dismiss the possibility that you are really, really slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1348089855' post='2484323'] you should not dismiss the possibility that you are really, really slow. [/quote][img]http://justmeint.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/pot-kettle.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1348087557' post='2484310'] Nah I'm more entertained when you talk about how all men are inherently evil and all women are victims of their lustful glances. I like authenticity. Acting in a manner that is designed to make you well liked is BS. Be the annoying little putz we all know you are and, while we still won't like you, and while you may get slapped with the phishy tag like I did, we'll at least respect your realness. Hell, maybe someone will create a "I Miss FP" thread! (Probably not, though) [/quote] Well, it's not that I'm being fake. I just like acting more mature. A Franciscan Friar told me in person "You are very mature for your age. You have an air of maturity about you." I know he never would have been able to tell me that had I not went to Phatmass to learn some behavior correction a year beforehand. I still do say dumb things on occasion as you will easily note, but I do like not being a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1348088302' post='2484313'] Yo man. Tell me how to date. I just don't get it. Who opens the door for whom? If I pay for dinner, is it okay for me to ask her for cab fare home? Should I shave my armpits? When is it okay for me to call her father "da-da"? Do girls like it when guys smell like pineapples and gasoline? [/quote] You open the door for her at all times. If she tries to open the door for you, slap her in the face, but not too hard so it doesn't leave a bruise. You pay everything. She can offer to pay, but your answer must always be "That's okay, sweetie, I've got it." If she presses further do not hesitate to be more firm. If you ever call her father that you will have your man license taken away and you will be forced to listen to a week of my daily lectures. Girls have accepted men smell bad no matter what they put on them, but as long as you don't smell like a sewer you'll be okay. If the girl gets lippy about your smell douse a cotton swap with gasoline and put it in her nostril to remind her how it could be worse. Any more questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348093939' post='2484360'] You open the door for her at all times. If she tries to open the door for you, slap her in the face, but not too hard so it doesn't leave a bruise. You pay everything. She can offer to pay, but your answer must always be "That's okay, sweetie, I've got it." If she presses further do not hesitate to be more firm. If you ever call her father that you will have your man license taken away and you will be forced to listen to a week of my daily lectures. Girls have accepted men smell bad no matter what they put on them, but as long as you don't smell like a sewer you'll be okay. If the girl gets lippy about your smell douse a cotton swap with gasoline and put it in her nostril to remind her how it could be worse. Any more questions? [/quote] What if I live in a sewer? What do I do if she refuses to acknowledge my imaginary friend? If I lose my man license, how do I apply for another and can I continue dating while my application is being processed? How long should I wait before getting a tattoo of her name on my face? When is it acceptable for us to wear matching leotards? How much faster over the speed limit should I drive to impress her (either in miles per hour or in percentage)? How long should we be dating before it's acceptable to try to put my nose inside her nose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 [quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1348096412' post='2484385'] What if I live in a sewer? What do I do if she refuses to acknowledge my imaginary friend? If I lose my man license, how do I apply for another and can I continue dating while my application is being processed? How long should I wait before getting a tattoo of her name on my face? When is it acceptable for us to wear matching leotards? How much faster over the speed limit should I drive to impress her (either in miles per hour or in percentage)? How long should we be dating before it's acceptable to try to put my nose inside her nose? [/quote] No man living in a sewer has a shot or is worthy of a girl. If you have an imaginary friend you are likely five, in which case you should not be courting at all. You apply for another by going to my lectures, and no, you may not. However, you forget you will be courting, not dating, something I cover in my class. Any man with a tattoo anywhere must either live in solitude and celibacy or get the surgery. If a woman isn't worth the pain of surgery than she isn't the one. The fact I must Google to find out what a leotard is means you neither her are allowed to wear them. Know she must be modest and have a skirt that goes to the ankles, and her collar must never go below her collarbone. Speeding in order to impress a girl is for teenage dropouts that don't have any other card left in the deck. Putting your nose in hers is highly improper and should never be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1348096846' post='2484388'] No man living in a sewer has a shot or is worthy of a girl. If you have an imaginary friend you are likely five, in which case you should not be courting at all. You apply for another by going to my lectures, and no, you may not. However, you forget you will be courting, not dating, something I cover in my class. Any man with a tattoo anywhere must either live in solitude and celibacy or get the surgery. If a woman isn't worth the pain of surgery than she isn't the one. The fact I must Google to find out what a leotard is means you neither her are allowed to wear them. Know she must be modest and have a skirt that goes to the ankles, and her collar must never go below her collarbone. Speeding in order to impress a girl is for teenage dropouts that don't have any other card left in the deck. Putting your nose in hers is highly improper and should never be done. [/quote] What if I'm a giant mutant turtle that lives in the sewer because mainstream society will not accept me? If you're basing clothing choices off of whether or not you have to google them, then should I get rid of my guayaberas too? What if I can't afford tattoo removal surgery? If I'm allowed to slap her in the event that she opens a door, what other occasions am I allowed to use physical force? In what occasions is she allowed to use physical force? What do I do with my left foot when I'm talking to a girl? If I'm paying for everything, should I tell her how much money I have at the beginning of the date? What do I do if she wants to buy something and I can't afford it? How long should we be dating before I include her in my zombie plan (and give her the key/combination to the supplies warehouse and underground shelter? If there's a freak accident and she dies while we're on a date, should I run for my life or stick around and wait for her father to kill me with his bare hands? How do you tell a girl that her dress really does make her look fat? What do I do if she doesn't like my art? How long before I reveal my superhero identity? If we dance, how many inches is the Holy Spirit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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