Can Y'all Critique This?

[the171]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1347973937' post='2483692']
If that article is the best you can do, then I guess it's ok. congrats, i suppose.
[/quote]

i dont think you are under the category of "y'all"



you're welcome.

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1347974175' post='2483693']
i dont think...[/quote]

I read your article, I can tell you don't think.... KofC is correct, it need cowbell.

[the171]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1347974619' post='2483701']
I read your article, I can tell you don't think.... KofC is correct, it need cowbell.
[/quote]

*more cowbell inserted*

[the171]

[img]http://zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g133418498561584072.jpg[/img]

[Papist]

Your kindergarten has a school paper? Wow. That's cool. j/k. Well done. My only suggestion would be to modify this statement,

[quote][color=#282828][font=georgia, serif][size=3]This is why I believe, [b]and why you should believe[/b], that the new translation is a [/size][/font][/color][i]good[/i][color=#282828][font=georgia, serif][size=3] thing. It reminds us that the mass isn’t just aerobics with a snack. The mass is a sacrifice, an offering of worship, praise, and thanksgiving. It is not a social event.[/size][/font][/color][/quote]

I'd steer away of telling people what they should or should not believe. Perhaps state it like this,

[color=#282828][font=georgia, serif][size=3]This is why I believe, [/size][/font][/color][b]and reasonable for others to believe, ....[/b]

[the171]

and it is reasonable for others to believe.

[MIKolbe]

i, personally, would just omit that part. it adds nothing to your article when you get right down to it. In a way it seems pushy...or at least that's how I read it... If you present a logical argument based in fact, I *will* agree with you... you don't need to tell me I should (regardless of the semantics used to communicate it).

[the171]

i took out that whole sentence. will do better next time. I'm still learning the ropes.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1347994783' post='2483814']
i took out that whole sentence. will do better next time. I'm still learning the ropes.
[/quote]

Writing in a way that satisfies everyone is not possible. Satisfying most people is a pretty heavy burden.