Emmaberry's Pcc Countdown

[Rosa immaculata]

Ave Maria!

 

Emmaberry, thank you so so so much for sharing all that!! You are so blessed! It is very helpful for my own discernment; the Poems are splendid even if sometimes I don't understand everything because I don't know all the words and their meaning; my favourite one is No Myth for Clare, the expression "woman of light" is so brilliant; I totally understand your anxiety before entering and it is normal! Enjoy this last week, and you will have the graces to surrender this trial! We pray for you and I hope there will be soon other aspirants to be PCCs on phatmass!! I will miss you as many others in the Phamily!

[emmaberry101]

Here it is-my last weekend with my family! 7 days before I am back in Roswell. I have been sleeping a lot, eating a lot, and so on. I made a "bucket list" of restaurants and foods, so my family is eating out as if we don't have a kitchen! I like meat in general, but it's not a favorite.. I usually prefer seafood. I am eating a lot of meat this week though, because I know if I don't, my future self will want to kick me! :P

 

It's so weird, all these goodbye visits.. Tomorrow will be my last day at my parish, and I hope to just come and go very quietly. It is strange though, this act of disappearing into obscurity. That's part of the call, a very integral part of it really, but it is still so contrary to the worldly attitude that desperately wants attention and validation.

 

I guess that is one reason I am struggling here before entrance (though the struggle has lessened-thanks for your prayers!). There is no one here to validate my decision. My parents are supportive, but they are not urging me in. Mother Abbess is not pushing me into the enclosure. The people I am having coffee with one last time are not telling me "Go in! Go in!" If anything, it's the very opposite! No one is making this decision but me (and hopefully God). Others can facilitate it by being supportive or accepting me into the community, but at the end of the day I have to get up on my own two feet and walk into that enclosure.

 

It's a strange feeling, but I hope everyone experiences this before they enter, because if I persevere, years down the road when trials come, I can't look back and say, "This was not my decision, I didn't know what I was doing, etc." This is my responsibility, my choice, and that's good, but still scary! Just like there is a mourning process for loved ones to go through, there really is a mourning process for oneself as one approaches entrance. Different stages occur of realization, sorrow, excitement, readiness.. I suppose the way one feels before getting married.

 

Sorry! This is not my blog, but I do forget it sometimes. :doh:

 

 

 

Here is a really (!) great photo story I have been looking for (It is posted elsewhere on VS under a different non-working link):

http://www.religious-vocation.com/images/poor_clare_colettine_story.pdf

 

 

Here is an excerpt about PCC formation:

 

Nova: 1 Month ("New One")

Postulant: 11 Months (Receives charge/duty)

Novice: 1.5-2 Years (More duties/regular charges)

Juniorate: 3 Year Vows (remain in Novitiate, extended cloister access, more responsibilities)

Solemn Vows: Forever! (Full responsibilities of a nun)

 

"When a young woman first enters the cloister, everything about her new life is just that — new! For this reason, the youngest member of the community is called a nova, a “new one.” She is the object of the community’s most tender love and compassion as she begins a totally novel way of life. The nova is dressed in the brown jumper and white blouse of one who aspires to wear the holy habit one day. She wears a short white veil, almost transparent, which is placed on her head by Mother Abbess the day she arrives. This veil is worn in our monastic choir and in the refectory, showing forth the sacredness of these places. As her footsteps become more sure and her mind more at home with the newness of her surroundings, the day approaches when she will exchange her nova veil for the veil of the full fledged postulant." 

 

" 'Postulant' also has a special meaning; she is the “one who asks.” The asking here is referring to the formal request to be admitted into the novitiate, the joyful ranks of the novices. Besides the privilege of asking to receive the holy habit, the new postulant is given other respon- sibilities. These are called “charges” and they are given solemnly by Mother Abbess in the presence of the entire community. Now she is in charge of certain areas to clean, gardens to weed and care for, sew- ing to do for her sisters. She will have her turn at reading in the re- fectory during meals and announc- ing to the world that her sisters are at prayer as she rings the tower bell

before the beginning of the Divine Office. The postulant soon learns to make all of her life a prayer as she takes these commands of God and makes them her song of love. Her joyous footsteps are turned toward the wondrous day when she will receive the holy habit and her new name."

 

 

Picture of some Belleville, IL PCCs (founded from Roswell):

 

 

 

Ave Maria!
 
Emmaberry, thank you so so so much for sharing all that!! You are so blessed! It is very helpful for my own discernment; the Poems are splendid even if sometimes I don't understand everything because I don't know all the words and their meaning; my favourite one is No Myth for Clare, the expression "woman of light" is so brilliant; I totally understand your anxiety before entering and it is normal! Enjoy this last week, and you will have the graces to surrender this trial! We pray for you and I hope there will be soon other aspirants to be PCCs on phatmass!! I will miss you as many others in the Phamily!

 
May God reward you Rosa for your kindness and encouragement! Yes, I hope to see more aspirants to the cloistered contemplative life (and my dear PCCs, of course!) as "alms for all the universe." (Mother Francis)
 
I know what you mean about the poems, even though English is my first language, I encounter a lot of words I don't know in typing out Mother Francis' poetry. She had an extensive vocabulary.. Makes me nervous about what they read in the Roswell PCC refectory! And I shudder to think of the day when it will be my charge to read it! I won't know how to pronounce so many of the words if the standard of reading is on par with Mother Abbess' intellect. Oh, well, I guess embarrassing myself in front of twenty-two nuns will be a good lesson in humility at the very least (or should I say most? :P)
 
 
 
 

 
 

Poem of the Day

 

On the Vigil of the Epiphany

 

Western Epiphany

 

Western-wise, we come to adore - 

Twenty minutes for worship

And plans for the evening.

 

Our gifts are weighed and measured

From a substantial saving for the winter.

Our hearts are places of narrow corridors

Loud as nightmares,

Busy calculations crawl in our souls

Like ants.

 

Have mercy on our common sense, poor Child,

For our hearts are bleak as comfort

And inspiration wilts in us, untended flower.

Give us that rare madness

To chase a star like lions

And fling our stones away to You

Like laughter.

 

We are the polished western-wise

Who give this least obeisance because

After these handsome days

Are riddled with the bullets of time

And death come upon our conveniences 

Like drunken reveller,

We prefer salvation.

 

Oh! pity our pale sanity, poor Child

Who once saw copper faces

Glow like jubilation,

Saw crown atilt with hurry,

Lips on the ground.

And raze our gleaming righteousness

Lest the ox and ass alone be wise.

 

 
 
 

Fioretti

 

Chapter XXXV

 

How, on Christmas Eve, St. Clare being sick was miraculously carried to the Church of St. Francis and there heard the office

 

 
ONCE St. Clare was grievously sick, so that she could not go at all to say the office in church with the other nuns; and when the festival of the Nativity of Christ was come, all the other nuns went to matins, and she remained abed, sad at heart because she was not able to go with the others and partake of that spiritual consolation. But Jesus Christ, her spouse, willing not to leave her thus disconsolate, caused her to be miraculously carried to the church of St. Francis and to be present at the whole office of matins and of the midnight Mass, and, besides this, to receive the Holy Communion and afterward to be carried back to her bed again.

 

Now the nuns returned to St. Clare, when the office in San Damiano was over, and said unto her: "O our mother, Sister Clare, what great consolation have we had, this holy Christmas Day! Would that it had been God's will that you had been with us!" And St. Clare made answer: "Sisters mine and dearest daughters, I give thanks and praise to our blessed Lord Jesus Christ, because in every solemnity of this most holy night, and even more than you, have I had my part to the great comfort of my soul; because, by the intercessions of my father St. Francis and by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, I have been present in the church of my venerable father St. Francis, and with the ears of my body and of my mind have heard all the office and the music of the organs which was made there; and in the same place have I taken the most Holy Communion. Wherefore, for such a grace vouchsafed unto me do ye rejoice and give thanks unto our Lord Jesus Christ."

 

[petitpèlerin]

I guess that is one reason I am struggling here before entrance (though the struggle has lessened-thanks for your prayers!). There is no one here to validate my decision. My parents are supportive, but they are not urging me in. Mother Abbess is not pushing me into the enclosure. The people I am having coffee with one last time are not telling me "Go in! Go in!" If anything, it's the very opposite! No one is making this decision but me (and hopefully God). Others can facilitate it by being supportive or accepting me into the community, but at the end of the day I have to get up on my own two feet and walk into that enclosure.

 

It's a strange feeling, but I hope everyone experiences this before they enter, because if I persevere, years down the road when trials come, I can't look back and say, "This was not my decision, I didn't know what I was doing, etc." This is my responsibility, my choice, and that's good, but still scary! Just like there is a mourning process for loved ones to go through, there really is a mourning process for oneself as one approaches entrance. Different stages occur of realization, sorrow, excitement, readiness.. I suppose the way one feels before getting married.

 

Sorry! This is not my blog, but I do forget it sometimes. :doh:

 

I love this. Also, it makes me think of how it is God with us, and nobody else. He is the one with us before, during, and after entrance: the only one who's always there.

[Lilllabettt]

When I entered, my family had never set eyes on the place and couldn't come with me. I had to go alone! To top it off, my parents had to leave the house a few days early to get my one little brother from school - they were the ones pulling out of the driveway, everyone crying. My sister stayed with me in the house till the end. We spent the afternoon before I left sitting on the front door step, wrapped in each other's arms for hours, wailing, while cars and people watched us from the busy street. My flight left at 6 in the morning, so I had to wake my other little brother up in the middle of the night  to hug him (sobbing) goodbye.  I cried all the way to the airport.   ... are you detecting a theme here?

 

the saying goodbye was the hardest part, at least in my experience. Once I was there I had no concentration left for home sickness. Everything was new and busy. and attention-consuming. It was harder for my family, because they didn't have a new community, new home, new everything - they had the empty chair. But even they came around in the end ;)  courage, little sister

[nikita92]

As a older woman....my son is wrapped up in his girlfriend. His elderly grandmother needs him more than I. My elder mother has my older (single) brother and older (single) daughter. My few unseen friends are all on Facebook. At this stage in my life in order to stay healthy, giving up red meat and sweets is not a bad thing! There is nothing good on TV anymore (except EWTN), I can't understand the words to the so called music..Practically all material goods are imported, driving is a daily fight for ones life...if I did lose my job..trying to get rehired at this stage would be more than difficult..Late last year...I'm pretty sure God tapped me on the shoulder...told me to wake up and it was time to pay attention to him!!!!! I'm so ready to give myself to him and so thankful he wait so long for me!!! That's not to say... That folding up what I have and following him isn't putting zingers in my head...can I bring my 2 cats?? Lol Didn't mean to hijack Emma! Hang in there!!!

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

I entered on this day, 22 years ago! I love the Epiphany! I flew here from MA because my parents didn't want to come (they thought it was a phase, even though I had been a novice for 2 years in an active community) and I really didn't want anyone with me, either!

 

At the airport I was a mess, my parents were a mess. My mom did quite well, now that I think of it. In the little plane I sat next to this gentlemen holding a gift bag with gifts for the sisters and flowers. I was crying and he asked me where I was going. "NEW JERSEY!" SOB SOB! He probably thought I was leaving my boyfriend! Meanwhile, I could see my dad standing next to the fence huddled in his winter jacket. It was awful!

 

Once I got to Newark, the prioress and a friend picked me up. They stopped at the front chapel entrance and told me to get out and go to the parlor and disappeared around the corner! The novice mistress was there and I put on my postulant clothes in the bathroom. It was around 5:30, cold, rainy and dark. The afternoon volunteer receptionist was there and knelt with me at the communion rail while we waited for the enclosure door to open. I was in a total panic and wanted to run down the aisle and out the door! But she was rubbing my back and telling me how beautiful it was that I would be with Jesus!

 

A priest-cousin of one of the sisters was there and he gave me a long blessing. Meanwhile, the community was processing from the chapter hall to the chapel--without me! The prioress and I finally caught up and she led me to my place in choir. We had a little ceremony and then Vespers. Once I got inside I felt fine and at home!

 

The last few weeks before I entered I don't remember doing too much different. I met with some friends for lunch or breakfast. Another friend had a New Year's day good-bye party and I cried all the way home. I went up to NH to see my sister who had just married. I don't think I was too attentive to my parents feelings to be honest! I was just too happy and excited!

 

My mom told me in a letter later that after they left the airport they cried all the way home. Then they went out to eat! It took some getting used to even though it was the 2nd time around. The first time I was nearby and they knew the sisters I had entered and even though we didn't visit too often they often came to the community Mass.

 

You get through it with God's grace. And then later you wonder what the big worry was!

 

Praying for you Emmaberry and for your parents!

[MarieLynn]

When I entered, my family had never set eyes on the place and couldn't come with me. I had to go alone! To top it off, my parents had to leave the house a few days early to get my one little brother from school - they were the ones pulling out of the driveway, everyone crying. My sister stayed with me in the house till the end. We spent the afternoon before I left sitting on the front door step, wrapped in each other's arms for hours, wailing, while cars and people watched us from the busy street. My flight left at 6 in the morning, so I had to wake my other little brother up in the middle of the night  to hug him (sobbing) goodbye.  I cried all the way to the airport.   ... are you detecting a theme here?

 

the saying goodbye was the hardest part, at least in my experience. Once I was there I had no concentration left for home sickness. Everything was new and busy. and attention-consuming. It was harder for my family, because they didn't have a new community, new home, new everything - they had the empty chair. But even they came around in the end ;)  courage, little sister

 

Saying goodbye was very difficult.   I was 17 when I said goodbye to my parents and siblings, and flew to another country to enter the postulancy (Australia).      I remember being very sad on the plane, but once I was picked up at the other end by 'my sisters' and whisked away to formally enter, change into my postulant garb, and go down and meet the other postulants, I forgot about being sad.         I was given an 'angel' for the first few weeks to show me what to do, and how to do it, and believe me their schedule was so busy and new, I used to crawl into bed at night absolutely exhausted.      I was never homesick, as there was so much to learn and not too much time given to learn it.   

 

There is always a wrench when you say goodbye, but it passes very quickly.    Your parents will probably miss you more than you miss them, and I say this in the nicest possible way, as they will have that gap where you once were on a daily basis, while you are busy learning the parts of your new life that goes with postulancy, and being part of a community.

 

May God bless you Emmaberry, your entrance is just a few days away, and I add my prayers to the rest of the Pham who are counting down with you.      Bon courage, ma bonne petite soeur. 

May St Francis and St Claire hold you in the palm of their hands.

[nikita92]

Happy Anniversary Sister Mary Catherine! O;-)) It takes courage and the grace of God guiding you! THANK YOU!!

[Eowyn]

Happy Anniversary, Sister Mary Catherine.  What a lovely story about your entrance. 

[emmaberry101]

Just a quick note from my phone to say that, once again, my computer is less of that and more of a brick! If I can find a spare moment with my family's computer (highly unlikely) I will reply to all these wonderful comments. Oh, but before I miss it entirely: Happy entrance anniversary, Sister MC! And may there be many such joyous anniversaries to come!

[Chiquitunga]

Mad props to Chiquitunga for the booklet Shall I Be A Nun? by the great Father Daniel A. Lord, available here (you can also click on any of the beginning pages pictured below). Following it is a great look into the life of a Poor Clare by a Sister of the Rockford Poor Clares:

 

 

 

 

Emma!!! Thank you so much for doing this!! You are so fast!! lol  :smile3:  This book this so beautiful :heart: and now everyone can read it! The Lord only knows how long it would have taken me to get around to this, lol. Much easier to send it to you :hehe: May God reward you!

 

oh my, your entrance is coming so quick, I will definitely be keeping you in prayer these days especially!!  :pray: Your presence has been so wonderful hear on PM!! Also, thank you so much for sending the Christmas card!! Your family is so beautiful!!!

 

Okay, tomorrow I am going to have to have a massive Poor Clare posting day before your entrance! :like:

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Praying for you, Emmaberry! I'm sure you are so busy. Hopefully before you enter we will get an update from you, but I'm sure all is well. Having just a few more days with your loved ones before you enter I'm sure its a blessed time. I pray that the peace and joy that you have in your heart will remain with you and that your family will have this peace and joy also. Your life there will bring many graces to them. What I find that is always important to remember is that the graces we receive are not just for us, but for others as well. This helps so much for perseverance especially during the times when our trials and sufferings feel heavy. It is the love with which we carry them that they become as if they weren't sufferings at all; we feel as if we can do anything because love is what matters. Love must be the greatest strength. So I pray that love will be your strength to bear all for Jesus and souls. Will you please pray the same for me? May we love Him more and more and never believe that what we have given is enough. :)

[OnlySunshine]

I can't believe you enter in just 3 days and a wakeup!  It seems like just yesterday we were congratulating you on being accepted.  :yahoo:

[incarnatewordsister]

Emma,

 

Courage! It will be difficult but it is worth it. I have been a Sister for about 9 years now and it has been worth it.

 

When I entered my mom had to have emergency surgery and so, no one coukd come with me. My friends from the Newman Center came, everybody came and they brought me, they stood with me in the chapel, they cried and rejoiced with me. Then they came for my first and final profession.

 

It will take some getting used to, but I will tell you hwat Sr. Mary Catherine told me once: "Hold on to the hand of Jesus, this too will pass."

 

Many prayers for you!

[Marie Villalovos Smith]

Prayers for you Emmaberry!! May God be with you always and may you persevere through the stages to come.

 

Jesu mi, tuus sum  

Edited January 10, 2013 by Marie Villalovos Smith