News From Nunsense

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Oh aren't you all wonderfully smart people if you guessed my news!I thought you might think - oh, oh, she's leaving another place! Well, the countdown has started as there are only three days left before I leave. Tomorrow is Saturday, work day around the house, lots of sweeps to get ready for Sunday. And we have Salve Regina before Vespers. Then there is Our Lord's day on Sunday with Vespers and Benediction in the evening. On Monday we have the Solemnity of Our Holy Mother,St Teresa of Avila. And then early Tuesday morning (before 6am) I get picked up by a taxi to take me to the coach station for the 3 hour plus ride to Heathrow airport, and then catch a plane for an 11 hour flight to San Francisco. I will stay two nights with my brother and leave there late Thursday night for Australia, and will lose Friday completely and arrive in Melbourne on Saturday morning where I will be met by my sister. A lot of travelling over the next few days. I ask for prayers that all goes well and quickly for the visa (lots of documentation required) so that I can get back here in time for the Golden Jubilee and for Advent. Thank you.

Our Sacristan left early Tuesday morning and so far I have been coping fine. Tonight I changed the Sanctuary lamp and had to do it oh so carefully so as not to let the Easter flame go out when I did the transfer to the new lamp - breathless stuff for a few moments but all went well and now I now it won't go out during Sunday Mass or the Solemnity! Yikes, what a disaster that would be.

I did have one little quick change required as Father decided to cancel the Mass for Blessed William Howard on Thursday and use a special prayer for the Year of Faith instead. The evening before the Mass I had to rush around changing the vestment colour and the missal and the lectionary marking. But the good news in exchange for me was that Father has decided not to use incense at Saturday night Vespers, which means no rushing then to try to get his incense lit while also lighting the candles in the ante-choir and handing out Salve candles to the sisters. So it was a fair exchange in my opinion.

Today Our Reverend Mother showed me some videos she had taken of sisters doing things, like working in the kitchen or the altar bread office, and she asked if I might use any of them on the website. I might be able to with editing but probably not as they are. For example, the one of a sister in the kitchen preparing rhubarb shows her walking away to get something from a cupboard and there is nothing on screen except mixing bowls! Mother and I sat there waiting for sister to come back and we were saying, 'Come back Sister, we want to see you, not the bowls!' and had a good laugh. Lots of fun, but not much use for a website, huh? There is also one of a sister using the ride on mower but she doesn't know she is being videoed so she keeps driving out of sight.... see what I mean? Oh well. One of the sisters is going to take more photos while I am gone and send the memory card to me to use. We have had a tough time getting some really good and useable shots so I told her she will have to pose some of them instead of trying to take candid ones. They either come out blurry or the lighting has glare in it or is too dark, or the sister being photographed looks away or something like that. So we will just have to pose the sisters and it will be okay because they wlil only pose doing things they normally do anyway.

I had a visitor last weekend... my dear friend who paid for my trip here to England (and thus saved my vocation) spent time here and slept in the extern quarters. She and I had a few parlour visits and she was also allowed to come inside to the garden area to help pick apples and then she helped clean off wall tiles for re-using. Everyone was delighted with her visit and hope she will come back again,even while I am not here.

I had a sort of 'exit interview' with Mother today and she asked the usual questions that they have to ask about did I still want to come back and enter, and how did I feel about the vows etc... and it was so lovely to be able to say with complete honesty that I have never been happier, but that happiness isn't even the right word because it is so deep. It is just 'right'. I told her I was prepared to take my Solemn Vows right there in her office if she would let me! She laughed of course. She doesn't want to 'fast track' me into the habit but she said it was most likely that I would be given an Office when I getback because they are really short handed in some areas. I have my idea of which one it is (no, not the Sacristy - I need at least two years - or more - doing that before I am ready for something like that) but I will wait to hear what Mother says. Whatever it is will be fine with me. I do hope I get to continue as assistant to the Sacristan however, as I love that more than anything at all. When I work alone in the Sacristy I feel such a great peace in my soul and I just feel so close to God's heart working around the Tabernacle and preparing the ciboriums and the chalices for the Mass. Such a blessing I can't describe it. I have had to learn about vestments and missals and lectionaries and ordos, what all the cloths are called that are used for the chalice tray and the Mass, which ones have to be 'purified' before they are washed, how to handle things when they return from the altar after Mass. And I have to learn what colour vestments for what occasions, whether they are memorials, feasts or solemnities, which priest wears what (some wear an amice and a girdle, some do not etc). Some of our Servers wear their own habit because they are brothers while others wear a generic cotta (surplice) over a cassock. For Benediction, the priest wears a cope and puts on the humeral veil before holding up the monstrance. So much to learn because our Church is so rich in tradition and beauty of the liturgy. We Catholics are truly blessed.

Well, must get some rest before the work day tomorrow. I have my packing half done, and fortunately will be keeping the same cell and Mother has said I can leave whatever I want behind. That will be so wonderful because it means I can take a few things to wear for the Australian summer, and leave behind my skirts and blouses and sweaters for here. And anything I need in Oz I can either get there or my sister will have. I should be able to travel a lot lighter going back than I did coming here.May God bless you all with His peace and His love always.

More when I can, but probably not until I land in the US or Oz.

[EmilyAnn]

Nunsense, I've been keeping up with your news and I am so so happy that things are finally falling into place for you.

[Blessed&Grateful]

I am so happy for you.

[Mary's Margaret]

God bless you on your travels and in your arrangements to return. Thanks for sharing such wonderful news with us.

[maximillion]

Thinking of you every step of the way - and more importantly, the way BACK!!!!!

Prayers prayers prayers........

[BarbTherese]

Wonderful news, nunsense, wonderful! God be with you to Australia and your return to Carmel - and guide you all the rest of the way. This begins a whole new joyful chapter in your life after quite a journey of trusting Faith, quite a journey - and thank you for sharing your journey to date with us. My prayers are with you too and I know you will remember us all in yours.

Edited October 13, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

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Well, I survived First Vespers of the Solemnity (of St Teresa) followed by Benediction and then the Solemnity Mass this morning so nowI can sigh a deep sigh of relief and concentrate on my packing.Our Mother told me I didn't have to do anything in the sacristy today after Mass but the sister who is taking over for me when I leave is sick today so I got everything ready for tomorrow's Mass (thankfully feria). Now she won't have to worry about things tomorrow morning. I even cleaned the Salve candles from Saturday and left things all ready for her. I am sure they will all be glad when their Sacristan returns and can take over again.

I leave early tomorrow morning so this will be my last post from the convent. When I said goodbye to Father this morning (through the Sacristy grille) he said that he thought I needed a chaplain on my trip and offered himself as volunteer. I think the idea of California appealed to him even more than Australia! I told him I would be Sister Teresa when I returned and not Annie and he got all excited and askedme if he would be part of the ceremonies. I laughed and said that in about six months he could bless the habit before I was clothed, but that things were kept pretty private until First Profession. I think he was happy just to be part of anything. I asked him to pray for me and said, you have to pray for me - so we are going to pray for each other!

This last week has been heaven (busy, but heaven) and leaving is going to be such a wrench.I am just glad that all the sisters won't be around when I leave because I would cry for sure. I know I have to do this, but because it has taken so long to get back here, even stepping outside for a little while is going to hurt. I have to keep telling myself to trust in God, that He brought me here this time, so if He wants me here, then it is His job to get me back here again. Thy Will be done in all things, Lord.

Keep smiling... it pleases your friends and confuses your enemies!

Our chaplain before Vespers one night.

[img]http://i860.photobucket.com/albums/ab166/nunsense/salve014_zps8528f362.jpg[/img]

Edited October 15, 2012 by nunsense

[CatherineM]

So, do you get to take my book with you when you go back to stay?

[emmaberry101]

Wonderful news nunsense! I love seeing your posts. Prayers for your safe travel.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1350308043' post='2493617']
So, do you get to take my book with you when you go back to stay?
[/quote]

Actually Catherine - I passed your book onto my sister who was keen to read it after I had finished it. I will have to ask her if she has it or if she passed it on to someone else. I know that everyone should buy their own copies, but I didn't want to throw it away or even donate it to charity when I left Australia,and when you are travelling with everything you own in the world, you have to keep things to a minimum!

I really shouldn't be online at all since I have some final last minute packing to do, but I was just about to pack up my laptop when I ducked into phatmass for a quick peak and saw your post.

Thanks everyone for the prayers. Remember that I am always praying for all of you too!

[CatherineM]

No worries. I think we figured once that each of my books has been read by about 4 other people on average. Saves trees.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1350295401' post='2493597']
I know I have to do this, but because it has taken so long to get back here, even stepping outside for a little while is going to hurt. I have to keep telling myself to trust in God, that He brought me here this time, so if He wants me here, then it is His job to get me back here again. Thy Will be done in all things, Lord.

Keep smiling... it pleases your friends and confuses your enemies!
[/quote]

That's really beautiful, Nunsense. I'm sure it will be difficult to be away from your beloved cloister. At least during this time of waiting you can be able to make many acts of virtue; it will help for preparation too! You have so much experience, and we could always still grow and improve right? The time away will certainly be filled with much grace to love and trust Him more. Your really right about smiling, it makes such a difference and it hides things from others so that what goes on in our interior will be kept for Our Lord alone .... like a true Carmelite. Please say a prayer for me in my time of waiting, that I may love and trust Him more also.

[AccountDeleted]

VJAM - I think I will write a book called 'Cloisters I Have Known and Loved" I have loved all of them but my heart now knows for certain that Wolverhampton is the place where I belong. I guess sometimes it's about right place AND right time. I am keeping all of you in my prayers, and you will get a special mention as you asked and we all know '... ask and ye shall receive'

Catherine - I think it must be very hard for an author to hear that others have read their book without paying for it - but in addition to saving trees, we can be glad that so many people are getting to read it who might not have done so otherwise. It was/is a lovely book and you certainly have a future as an author if you decide to write more books. Congratulations on your recent award too - I haven't had occasion to read a lot of phatmass recently so I didn't respond to your thread before. Maybe your next book should be 'Why I Got a Medal' and tell all about the experiences you have had that led up to it. I know you wouldn't want to promote yourself personally, but the issues you have faced are worth writing about and bringing to the attention of others. Well done.

I am writing this from Heathrow airport after a four hour coach ride from Wolverhampton. I got here at 10.30am and my flight doesn't leave until 2:10pm but it was that bus or arrive too late, so I decided to get here early. I have had a lovely lunch and now only have an hour left to wait until the gate opens for boarding.

Most of the sisters were just getting up when my taxi arrived at the convent (they get up at 5:30am and my taxi arrived at 5:45am, but Our Mother and the sister who was on the mattraque this morning were both there to see me off, along with one other sister who has early duties in the kitchen and sacristy (now that I have left). We had a party last night for the Solemnity (and kind of a good-bye party for me as well), and we got to drink wine with cheeses and crackers and other lovely treats. I received some lovely goodbye cards and I'm glad it was a festive occasion or I might have cried. I know I did cry a few times during the day at the idea of leaving, but soon pulled myself together as I kept saying, 'Thy will be done, Lord.' During the day I walked around the gardens and kept remembering that phrase that Sr Luke said in the Nun's Story when she was leaving Africa; she looked at one of the native birds and said, 'I'll be back you lovely creature. You hear me? I'll be back.' Of course, she never did go back because of the war, so let's pray that a war doesn't break out and stop me from returning!!!! Funny how certain things stick in our heads, isn't it?

I can't explain just how much of my heart has been left behind, but I have asked Jesus to fill me with His love to share with everyone I meet while I am 'outside'. I am going to see my beloved family now and I want to be able to love them now, not just for myself, but also for Jesus, with the love that He has for each one of them. I am lousy at preaching the gospel to my family - they are mostly agnostics (although there is a Catholic or two in the group) and I know that words aren't the way to reach their hearts, so since St Francis says to 'preach the gospel always... and when necessary, use words' - there must be another way without words. The only other way that I know is to adapt St Therese's philosophy which was 'At the heart of the Church, my mother, I will be love.' I can only say 'At the heart of my family I will be love.' I only wish that I could somehow convey the message that whatever love I have for anyone is only possible because of the love that Jesus has for me - without that I am an empty vessel with nothing to offer. Once again, all I can do is trust in Him.

I am reading a biography of John F Kennedy right now and in it he quotes the definition of happiness as being 'a full use of your powers along the lines of excellence in a life-affording scope.' The only thing I would change is perhaps the term 'life-affording' to read 'life-affirming'. I feel truly happy at this moment because I finally feel that I have allowed God the full use of my powers (whatever talents or abilities or affinities He has given me) along the lines of excellence (in committing myself to religious life) in a life-affirming (acknowledging Jesus as my Life) scope. We each need to find our happiness by fulfilling the purpose that God has made available to us through alignment of our free-will with His will, whatever that purpose may be.

So that's enough for now. I didn't intend to preach. I am just overflowing with joy right now, and that is funny because I am sitting in an airport full of people all going in different directions, instead of sitting in my stall in choir praying the Office! Just goes to show that God's love isn't limited to any particular place or activity - kind of like carrying a portable love furnace inside our hearts! Much love to all of you. And all praises to our most amazingly wonderful Lord.

[Eowyn]

Excellent news!!! Have a safe trip! You are giving me lots of courage (which I need at the moment.)

[emmaberry101]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1350389563' post='2493916']
I am reading a biography of John F Kennedy right now and in it he quotes the definition of happiness as being 'a full use of your powers along the lines of excellence in a life-affording scope.' The only thing I would change is perhaps the term 'life-affording' to read 'life-affirming'. I feel truly happy at this moment because I finally feel that I have allowed God the full use of my powers (whatever talents or abilities or affinities He has given me) along the lines of excellence (in committing myself to religious life) in a life-affirming (acknowledging Jesus as my Life) scope. We each need to find our happiness by fulfilling the purpose that God has made available to us through alignment of our free-will with His will, whatever that purpose may be.
[/quote]

I enjoyed your whole post, nunsense, but this really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing, and please keep me in your prayers. I look forward to hearing more from you while you are 'outside.' God bless you!